Hubby vent

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masondoggy

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DH is driving me nuts. There is just no pleasing him.

He gets mad when I sit here next to him at night on the couch with the laptop…while he watches tv.

He gets mad if I sit here and read next to him while he’s watching tv.

He gets mad if I leave and go to the Adoration chapel at night while he sits here and watches tv.

He is not happy unless I’m sitting next to him at night watching whatever stupid show he has on tv with him.

Now, there are many nights I will watch tv with him. But most of what he watches I have no interest in and I just can’t stand sitting here night after night mindlessly staring at a box. I need interaction, mind stimulation.

He is really, really driving me nuts. He’s mad at me right now because I’m sitting here on the laptop and he’s got some stupid, violent, manly movie on that I could care less about. :mad:

GGGGrrrrrrr. Thank you, vent over.
 
I think you should alternate tv nights. Tomorrow night is your turn to hold the remote and he gets to sit next to you and watch your choice of shows. What? No? He doesn’t want to do that? Then he should be grateful you at least want to sit next to him on the sofa. If he’s that one-sided, he has no right to pout.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
I think you should alternate tv nights. Tomorrow night is your turn to hold the remote and he gets to sit next to you and watch your choice of shows. What? No? He doesn’t want to do that? Then he should be grateful you at least want to sit next to him on the sofa. If he’s that one-sided, he has no right to pout.
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That’s the thing, if I grab the remote and put on my shows, he goes out on the porch and gets on the phone. :mad:

Gggrrr.

ETA MEN! :mad:
 
Tell him you’re not his lap dog, you are his wife. Time to tell him how you really feel. Good luck!
 
BIG HUGS LADY!

Is there ANYTHING worse than someone trying to force you to watch TV or a movie you don’t want to? I am abotu to sit down for “family movie night” with my husband and all my kids to a movie I want to see, otherwise – no way am I watching more than one or two nights of TV per week.

You gotta talk to him. No way does he have a right to be mad at you for not doing what he wants like - as previous poster said – a lap-dog. You have to explain different interests and how they are not detrimental to a marriage.

Have you been married long? This is so irrational. As we skim through previews my Dh is reading a Joe Landsdale book as I write to you! OK gotta…gooooooo…LOL (back later!) 👍
 
My husband could care less if we watch t.v. together, if he wants to talk then the t.v. is off and the computer is off and we sit down and talk about our day, things that we have on our mind etc.

Your husband needs to grow up… just because you don’t want to sit and be a couch potato… geesh… how silly… to get angry over something that minor… how does he handle the really big things in life?

I could see him being upset if you would not pay attention to him when he needed to talk to you but not watching t.v. with him? I’ve never heard of that… I guess we learn something new all the time.

My husband needs to talk to me after he gets home from work, so I try to have the kids busy with an activity and have about 20 minutes set aside so he can vent about his day at work and I can just listen and be a sounding board, and he is touchy if I am not focused on him during that time but t.v.? we actually watch very little t.v. so that would never be a problem.

You need to tell your husband how totally childish and immature he is acting and put your foot down right now, as long as you are in the same room together it should not matter what you are doing.
 
Just wait until your kids are the same way. I won’t watch DVDs with my 16 yo daughter anymore, because not only does she force me to sit there and watch them, she forces me to pay attention. If she sees I’m zoning out, she stops and plays the scene again. I am supposed to watch it, giving it 100% of my attention. I think I’m sorta ADD sometimes these days, and no way can I pay attention on demand. Sheesh. Now when she asks if I want to watch something I think my answer is invariably no. Although…I will still go to the movies with her.
 
dulcissima said:
Just wait until your kids are the same way. I won’t watch DVDs with my 16 yo daughter anymore, because not only does she force me to sit there and watch them, she forces me to pay attention. If she sees I’m zoning out, she stops and plays the scene again. I am supposed to watch it, giving it 100% of my attention. I think I’m sorta ADD sometimes these days, and no way can I pay attention on demand. Sheesh. Now when she asks if I want to watch something I think my answer is invariably no. Although…I will still go to the movies with her.
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I have an aunt the same way – infamous in our family for saying “oh this part is great” “no no watch this” “shhh this part is awesome!” One day she was watching a Steven Segal film (just had to ask DH the name because I don’t watch his films!) and was acting like I SHOULD be interested. I had already explained three times I don’t watch his films, yet there she sat, trying to force me to watch it – “this part is SOOO funny!” (the only funny Segal thing is the MAD TV Parodies – to me) Ahhhh!!! Here she has this great craft room and a brain full of her own great ideas, as well as ADD to go along with it. We could be crafting and she could get on my nerves with her perfection – but O, has to sit and watch Steven Segal films and act irritated that I wont. Sigh. Sorry it’s your daughter – yet at the same time, she could go somewhere with this love of film. Maybe movie criticism and/or editing, directing or producing.
 
masondoggy said:
DH is driving me nuts. There is just no pleasing him.

He gets mad when I sit here next to him at night on the couch with the laptop…while he watches tv.

He gets mad if I sit here and read next to him while he’s watching tv.

He gets mad if I leave and go to the Adoration chapel at night while he sits here and watches tv.

He is not happy unless I’m sitting next to him at night watching whatever stupid show he has on tv with him.

Now, there are many nights I will watch tv with him. But most of what he watches I have no interest in and I just can’t stand sitting here night after night mindlessly staring at a box. I need interaction, mind stimulation.

He is really, really driving me nuts. He’s mad at me right now because I’m sitting here on the laptop and he’s got some stupid, violent, manly movie on that I could care less about. :mad:

GGGGrrrrrrr. Thank you, vent over.
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What are your babysitting fees?

(sorry I could not resist)
 
Right now my DH is watching something on TV, and I decided to look at the “forums”. He could care less that I am doing something other than watching the tube with him. We have a few shows that I enjoy, we watch together, maybe 3 shows a week. TV has never been on the top of my entertainment list, hubby knows that and does not insist that I watch with him. It is a matter of being understanding and courteous with one another. It doesn’t hurt to do something with our spouse that we don’t particularly enjoy (watching TV), once in a while. Make a date…“darling, one night a week I will watch TV with you, anything you want to watch”. Won’t hurt to try.

Love and peace,
Mom of 5
 
KCtheMommy said:
BIG HUGS LADY!

Is there ANYTHING worse than someone trying to force you to watch TV or a movie you don’t want to? I am abotu to sit down for “family movie night” with my husband and all my kids to a movie I want to see, otherwise – no way am I watching more than one or two nights of TV per week.

You gotta talk to him. No way does he have a right to be mad at you for not doing what he wants like - as previous poster said – a lap-dog. You have to explain different interests and how they are not detrimental to a marriage.

Have you been married long? This is so irrational. As we skim through previews my Dh is reading a Joe Landsdale book as I write to you! OK gotta…gooooooo…LOL (back later!) 👍
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We’ve been married 10 years.

I agree, he is acting like a big baby. What really makes me mad about it is he has a habit of disappearing outside and talking on the phone for a long time in the evening and then he gets mad at ME for occupying myself when he decides to get off the phone. He’s darn lucky I don’t like talking on the phone.
 
Tell him what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

xh and I used to alternate movies. He would get whatever he wanted. I would at least try to cater my movie to have a theme that wouldn’t bore him to tears. No Steel Magnolias for me on my movie night. It was never even. And that’s the problem. It starts to become a burr under the saddle when everything is one-sided. Nip it in the bud.

And Dulcissima, I didn’t used to be ADD until I had kids. 😃 I guess never being able to finish a task without interruption has left me unable to do so. Now I wander off mid-task like a five year old.
 
Maybe you should make him wish you’d go amuse yourself…

Sit very close to him, hands folded in your lap, paying close attention to the screen. Then, talk about everything on TV. Talk non-stop about what’s going on in the program.

“Oh, goodie. Law and Order! My goodness… Do you think Lt. Green will catch that bad guy? I wonder what forensics will say about the bullets? I don’t think it was the landlord. That’s just a red herring. I think it was the fiancee. She probaby murdered him. Do you think it was the fiancee? I’ll bet the doorman heard something, but is afraid to say so. They should question him, again. I told you it was the fiancee. I knew from the way she said she was working late, you could just tell she was lying. I wonder if McCoy will go for the death penalty? He should go for the death penalty. That defense lawyer is obviously trying to get the case thrown out on a technicality. I hope the judge doesn’t go for that motion to dismiss.Do you think any judge would fall for such a stupid tactic? McCoy will get her on cross-examination. Do you think he’ll win the conviction? Yay! He won the conviction. That evil fiancee got what she deserved. Oh! What’s on next? Lost? I wonder if they’ll ever get off that island. How does that one guy manage to stay so fat if he’s stranded on a desert island?”

Keep this up until he begs you to please go get your laptop and leave him alone. 😉
 
HOPEFUL_IN_UK said:
Maybe you should make him wish you’d go amuse yourself…

Sit very close to him, hands folded in your lap, paying close attention to the screen. Then, talk about everything on TV. Talk non-stop about what’s going on in the program.

“Oh, goodie. Law and Order! My goodness… Do you think Lt. Green will catch that bad guy? I wonder what forensics will say about the bullets? I don’t think it was the landlord. That’s just a red herring. I think it was the fiancee. She probaby murdered him. Do you think it was the fiancee? I’ll bet the doorman heard something, but is afraid to say so. They should question him, again. I told you it was the fiancee. I knew from the way she said she was working late, you could just tell she was lying. I wonder if McCoy will go for the death penalty? He should go for the death penalty. That defense lawyer is obviously trying to get the case thrown out on a technicality. I hope the judge doesn’t go for that motion to dismiss.Do you think any judge would fall for such a stupid tactic? McCoy will get her on cross-examination. Do you think he’ll win the conviction? Yay! He won the conviction. That evil fiancee got what she deserved. Oh! What’s on next? Lost? I wonder if they’ll ever get off that island. How does that one guy manage to stay so fat if he’s stranded on a desert island?”

Keep this up until he begs you to please go get your laptop and leave him alone. 😉
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:rotfl: He’d think I absolutely lost my mind!
 
Dacinom said:
I think perhaps there is a deeper issue going on here. Your husband wants your attention, he wants you close to him, he wants you to watch his shows because (perhaps) he is seeking your approval in that you like the shows he likes. This is likely a sign that he has some insecurity in your relationship. (just my opinion, I am not a psychologist, just a wife).

I would agree he is being somewhat unreasonable…but pointing out to him that he is unreasonable is not going to strengthen your marriage, it will just weaken your husband. When you occupy yourself with something that does not include him, he gets upset. I think people often get unreasonable and even childish when it comes to issues that are hurtful and affect them deeply.

Think of how you can address this issue in a positive way. What if you spent time complimenting him, making him his favorite meal and telling him how much you loved him? What if you spent time watching a movie with him without complaining? What if after one of his long phone calls you said “honey I am glad you are done…now we can do something together.”?

I am not suggesting that this problem is your responsibility to fix. What I am suggesting is to try to look at it from a deeper perspective and see him as someone who may have an emptiness deep inside that needs love and attention…instead of someone who is just demanding and annoying. Hope this helps.
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Good points.

To the OP: Is this a new behavior with your husband? Who is he talking on the phone with? If my husband were talking on the phone like that it would be a huge red flag (he hates talking on the phone).

I used to like to share movies with people. It would be disappointing when a movie/show moved me emotionally or had deep meaning for me and the other people watching don’t “get it”. It was like being told my feelings/beliefs aren’t important. Now I don’t expect others to watch the movie and get out of it what I do. Everyone is different.
 
Just for the record folks, the is expression is “I **couldn’t **care less” NOT, as stated throughout this thread, “I could care less.” To say one could “care less” implies that one does care about the issue to some extent, which I don’t think is what people intend to say when they use this expression.

O.K. --Carry on! :tiphat:
 
wisdom_3_5 said:
Good points.

To the OP: Is this a new behavior with your husband? Who is he talking on the phone with? If my husband were talking on the phone like that it would be a huge red flag (he hates talking on the phone).

.
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I wouldn’t say it’s a new behavior.

I don’t really see a “red flag” with the phone because he’s always done that. Well, I do the same thing when I’m on the phone. We go outside, otherwise the kids are tuned in and listening to every word and it’s hard to hear with the house noise. I know he’s usually either talking to his brother or friends. Nothing I’m concerned about.
 
HOPEFUL_IN_UK said:
Maybe you should make him wish you’d go amuse yourself…

Sit very close to him, hands folded in your lap, paying close attention to the screen. Then, talk about everything on TV. Talk non-stop about what’s going on in the program.

“Oh, goodie. Law and Order! My goodness… Do you think Lt. Green will catch that bad guy? I wonder what forensics will say about the bullets? I don’t think it was the landlord. That’s just a red herring. I think it was the fiancee. She probaby murdered him. Do you think it was the fiancee? I’ll bet the doorman heard something, but is afraid to say so. They should question him, again. I told you it was the fiancee. I knew from the way she said she was working late, you could just tell she was lying. I wonder if McCoy will go for the death penalty? He should go for the death penalty. That defense lawyer is obviously trying to get the case thrown out on a technicality. I hope the judge doesn’t go for that motion to dismiss.Do you think any judge would fall for such a stupid tactic? McCoy will get her on cross-examination. Do you think he’ll win the conviction? Yay! He won the conviction. That evil fiancee got what she deserved. Oh! What’s on next? Lost? I wonder if they’ll ever get off that island. How does that one guy manage to stay so fat if he’s stranded on a desert island?”

Keep this up until he begs you to please go get your laptop and leave him alone. 😉
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:rotfl:

Actually, his behavior is controlling, insecure, and since you are growing resentful (not healthy to your marriage). You may have to do it gently but you DO have rights. You should be able to pursue your own interests, etc. I just cannot imagine.

I have my father living with me and if I had to sit and watch CSI and SCI FI channel all night I would explode (instead I watch EWTN or my computer, listen to Orthodox radio, post here, study, etc). Couples need time together but also apart.

Don’t let it get to the point where you build an emotional wall up of resentment and unfullfilled wishes.

Good luck.

Rev North
 
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