Hubby wants to stop using NFP

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Luvs2Learn

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Hubby wants to stop using NFP to avois and start TTC again. I wrote about this health issue in a previous thread so I will be really brief here. my 3rd baby was 3 weeks early (I tend to deliver quickly and early). I was afraid of becomming pregnant again to quickly for fear of another even earlier delivery.
Before my DH and I were married we agreed we were not going to use any form of contraception (only natural breastfeeding). with this concern after my 3rd baby we decided to use an NFP method until we got the medical ok. We got the medical ok several months ago but I still have anxiety over the whole thing. (the baby is 17 months, my older kids are 3 1/2 and 6,.
This morning , before my DH left for work he told me that when he comes home tonight he wants to start TTC again(acording to mt chart I am about to ovulate). He said the Dr said everything looks fine to start ttc again. (just an FYI: my hubby came from a really large Catholic family and always dreamed of this for us).
I don’t know if I am ready yet but DH said he understands my concerns but DR has given much reasurance.
🤷
 
❤️:love:The Lord will be with you. He will not give you more than you can handle if you throw yourself on His mercy. Continue to breastfeed as your normally would. Each baby is different and these days 3 weeks is barely early at all since there is so much good neonatal care now. There is no guarentee that your next baby will also be early or even that you will get pregnant again right away.
 
Well, if you are having anxiety about this, why not take more time to discern? A 17 month old baby is small, my DS1 didn’t sleep the night until that age. You are the mom, you will be carrying the baby, if you are having anxiety about it I think your DH should understand and discern with you.

It seems like not so subtle pressure to say, “When I come home I want to TTC.”

Prayers for you.
 
He should listen to your (name removed by moderator)ut. It’s your body too. If you don’t want to conceive yet then tell him!
 
My first impression is that objectively, your dh may be correct that it would be ok to TTC, but that he is coming on too strong and not being as respectful of your concerns about starting TTC tonight.

Your wording raised a few questions for me - not that you need to answer them here necessarily, but things to think/pray about on your own and with your husband.

-Dh has always dreamed of a large Catholic family… What about you? Have you also wanted this? Is this something that you and he have agreed on in the past? If you and he haven’t seen eye to eye, is he becoming afraid that this dream is being taken from him? If so, this might explain why he is coming on too strong. Maybe he needs to be reassured about his own worries.

-Dh has dreamed of the large Catholic family… Is he judging that it’s time for another one because he has prayed about it and really believes it’s right for your family, or is he deciding this because he’s “doing the math” and wants to have kids every ___ years to be sure to get to that big number that he’s shooting for?

-Your MD says you are medically safe to have another one, but you are still anxious… Why do you think you’re still worried? Is it a rational concern? Do you see a light at the end of the tunnel - a time when you think you’ll feel more comfortable with the idea of TTC? If you do, maybe dh needs to understand this - see that there is a timeframe (even if it’s not exact) and that you’re not saying “no” indefinitely. If you’re really really scared (even if it seems irrational), maybe he needs to understand what’s going on that’s making you so fearful so he can have compassion and help you find ways to alleviate your fears.
 
*My first impression is that objectively, your dh may be correct that it would be ok to TTC, but that he is coming on too strong and not being as respectful of your concerns about starting TTC tonight.

Your wording raised a few questions for me - not that you need to answer them here necessarily, but things to think/pray about on your own and with your husband.

-Dh has always dreamed of a large Catholic family… What about you? Have you also wanted this? Is this something that you and he have agreed on in the past? If you and he haven’t seen eye to eye, is he becoming afraid that this dream is being taken from him? If so, this might explain why he is coming on too strong. Maybe he needs to be reassured about his own worries.
we both have always wanted a large family.before we married we had agreed on no contraception except through natural breastfeeding, which spaced our kids very well.We had agreed only to ever use a structured NFP method if it was of true need.

-Dh has dreamed of the large Catholic family… Is he judging that it’s time for another one because he has prayed about it and really believes it’s right for your family, or is he deciding this because he’s “doing the math” and wants to have kids every ___ years to be sure to get to that big number that he’s shooting for?no, its not about the math at all, it is more about what I had mentioned above about us really not wanting to avoid with out reason.now that the MD has given the ok (like 4 months ago) hubby feels that my nerves are just that, nerves

-Your MD says you are medically safe to have another one, but you are still anxious… Why do you think you’re still worried? Is it a rational concern? Do you see a light at the end of the tunnel - a time when you think you’ll feel more comfortable with the idea of TTC? If you do, maybe dh needs to understand this - see that there is a timeframe (even if it’s not exact) and that you’re not saying “no” indefinitely. If you’re really really scared (even if it seems irrational), maybe he needs to understand what’s going on that’s making you so fearful so he can have compassion and help you find ways to alleviate your fears. *
well, in his deffense, the MD said go ahead 4 months ago and I kept telling DH I needed more time, maybe next month etc, etc. so I think he is really just trying to help me over the nerves., besides like the other poster said, It could take several moths before I actually concieve again if I do. I think DH knows this and fears my anxiety will continue if he doesn’t press.
 
oh and by the way… hubby got home at around 6pm from work and of course what did he do, he brought me gorgous flowers and is now upstairs getting all the kids to bed so that I can relax, unwind and play on the computer…:doh2: he’s been puttin on the charm since he walked through the door.😃
 
Have you tried praying, asking God to help you with your nerves?
 
Luvs2Learn said:
oh and by the way… hubby got home at around 6pm from work and of course what did he do, he brought me gorgous flowers and is now upstairs getting all the kids to bed so that I can relax, unwind and play on the computer…:doh2: he’s been puttin on the charm since he walked through the door.😃
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Too cute! Smart man!! LOL:p
 
just a follow up to yesterdays post…when he puts on the charm , he puts on the charm…I caved…, but you know what, I really thought I would feel anxiety today but I actually don’t. I actually feel like I want to try again tonight just in case 😊
 
Luvs2Learn said:
just a follow up to yesterdays post…when he puts on the charm , he puts on the charm…I caved…, but you know what, I really thought I would feel anxiety today but I actually don’t. I actually feel like I want to try again tonight just in case 😊
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🙂 I’m glad to hear you are feeling better! Trust in God, He knows us better than we will ever know ourselves and wants what is best for us.
 
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