Huge Dilema

[Peter_Dawson]

Your comments to this young man displays a glaring lack of christian charity. Self righteous and prideful boasting about your friend’s good deed serves no purpose to this discussion either. With the amount of temptation and impurity in modern culture that young people face these days, you ought to be praising God that he came here for help. It is my prayer that he ignore your comments and continue to seek advice from those who have a little more empathy.

It is my experience that those who do the most incredible good works of charity are among those who struggle the most with fighting temptation. You have no idea what your friend may have actually been struggling with.

Oh, my heavens!

You are so, so, so, so wrong!

Let’s say I’m an expert on teenage masturbation. Where this young man’s mind is at, in his paragraph, is precisely where mine was in college. His kind of thinking generates one result: Sex, either solo, or promiscuous.

That’s how I kinew that he was being truthful – I recognized his thinking as having been mine.

How did I lay aside my habit years ago? By abandoning the ridiculous notion that my testicles must “generate product,” and instead focusing on “being all I can be” in God’s world.

Instead of asking us, “Did you take good care of your testicles on Earth,” do you know what they ask, at judgment time? They ask, “What did you do with the life I gave you? How did you leave behind a better place?”

George, ignore TLM08. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.

 

[Peter_Dawson]

What language did he use that he needs to watch??

In Post #1, third line down, third word in from the right.

 

[Peter_Dawson]

Lorrie, I guessing he was referring to “horsecrap”, hardly bad language in my book. I tell my kids to pick up the “dog ****” from the front yard all the time, so I do not see why “horse ****” would be any worse!

Noting, of course, that either you, or the program, substituted “****” for the off-color language.

 

[TLM08]

Oh, my heavens!

You are so, so, so, so wrong!

Let’s say I’m an expert on teenage masturbation. Where this young man’s mind is at, in his paragraph, is precisely where mine was in college. His kind of thinking generates one result: Sex, either solo, or promiscuous.

That’s how I kinew that he was being truthful – I recognized his thinking as having been mine.

How did I lay aside my habit years ago? By abandoning the ridiculous notion that my testicles must “generate product,” and instead focusing on “being all I can be” in God’s world.

Instead of asking us, “Did you take good care of your testicles on Earth,” do you know what they ask, at judgment time? They ask, “What did you do with the life I gave you? How did you leave behind a better place?”

George, ignore TLM08. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.

Peter…
Just as salivary glands produce saliva, the testicles do produce their “product”. It’s best not to become obsess with this fact. While it’s true that there is far more to life than sexual release, for young men, this can be a tough sell. Even godly teens who know better still have to live in this sexually supercharged society and face many temptations. Even though you claim to be an “expert” on teenage masturbation, my prior advice stands. Let him read and decide for himself.

 

[Peter_Dawson]

I employed the word “expert” with humility.

 

[whm]

The huge dilemma is not that you “need” masturbation, but that you rationalize it and try to falsely convince yourself that you need it. All you need is food, drink, medical attention, healthy socialization, and to be One with God in prayer, meditation, scripture reading, and frequent reception of the sacraments. That is all that is needed for basic life, sexuality is needed only to give life to future generations. Masturbation does not eliminate your feeling of loneliness, it only increases it much like how depressed people resort to alcoholism to help them when alcohol is actually a depressant and therefore worsens it. Masturbation impairs your ability to socialize effectively with the opposite sex most especially if you’re attempting to communicate with the very girl you’ve been using in your sexual fantasy. You would view her as a mere object to your animalistic lust rather than a fellow human being, sister, and child of God. When you eventually start dating and attempt to seek a wife it will hurt your relationship with her because you would view her as an object to your lust rather than your lover and eventually you will find her sexually borring, you would try to fantasize of other women while having intimacy with her, and persist in cheating on your wife with masturbation, or even worst you might have an affair with someone else. Also, you will not be looking for a spouse that will match your views and personality, you will only be looking for a woman to sexually gratify you. This would then result in divorce and then the process starts over again leading to more divorces. Masturbation can relieve stress temporarily, but it will later increase your stress because on top of the stress you already have you would have to deal with the stress of controlling your increased sexual lust, desires, and addiction resulting from the masturbation.

Lust is a very deadly sin that you must learn to get rid of. The antidote against lust is true sacrificial love. Love is not merely that warm fuzzy feeling you feel inside of you when romantically involved with a girl or even that sexual pleasure that you feel during intimacy. Love is explained by Christ on the cross, he gave himself entirely and endured much pain for us all. That is love, the willingness to endure suffering, burdens, and displeasure for another person, always wanting to please the other person. In a loving married life, the each one in the union has sex in order to please the other and in the process give life to another (children) and please God in raising these children upright. They do not seek to have sex just to feel physical pleasure for themselves alone. This does exist in this world today, there are many couples who follow this basic truth in their lives and have good healthy marriages for life. What you can do is keep this in mind. Go to confession, confess your sin and estimate how much you have done it and confess it to your priest, pray often, prayer does not necessarily have to be long, read the bible, when you are in stress meditate do something else that relaxes you. Look away when women flaunt their body parts at you, when you have impure thoughts reject them, do not entertain them in your mind. Have religious art in your bed room.

This is a good post:thumbsup:

If you are feeling tempted or “left out” think of the sacrifice Jesus made for you on the Cross. Think of your resistance as uniting yourself (in a small way) with that sacrifice. Jesus said “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” Right now at this point of your life, this battle is your cross. I have found this to be helpful and comforting for various struggle/challenges.

 

[Lorrie]

Noting, of course, that either you, or the program, substituted “****” for the off-color language.

The program does it.

 

[JacktheCatholic]

i’m 16 and have been struggling with sexual immpurity. but the things is i basically “need” it to make life tolerable for me cuz i have a HUGE, grueling classs schedule/ plus a three hour practice right after that/ then 2 hours of homework.every day. i basically need it as a sense of relief from each day and i’m horribly lonely so it helps me forget my lonliness. i’ve basically given up on God’s plan for pure love, which to me is a bunch of horsecrap cuz everyone is having premarital sex these days. and if he wanted me to have a girl in my life, she would of came by now, cuz everyone around me is going in and out of the dating scene.

thoughts?

I am sure the people living in Sodom and Gomorrah would have agreed with you.

The path to Heaven is narrow and most will not make it. Many will stand before Jesus at judgment day saying “Lord” and Jesus will say “I do not know you”.

 

[Catholic90]

Noting, of course, that either you, or the program, substituted “****” for the off-color language.

The program does it.

Yeah, the program does it. See, I do not think c.r.a.p is a bad word. It’s not. It’s a slang term for the feces (ie. undigested waste products) that every living creature produces (Ever hear of the book Everybody P.o.o.p.s? )ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71610F1MDNL.SL500_AA240.gif
To have a 16 YO boy (OR ANYONE ELSE IMO) say that is hardly a crime! Most people I know where I live call the dog messes in the yards c.r.a.p. It is a common occurance to tell the kids to pick up the dog c.r.a.p. When the geese decide to land on our pond and annoy us, they often leave big messes of goose c.r.a.p. behind. It is just a biological fact. It is not a swear word! I suppose you would think it better if I asked my boys to “pick up the expelled canine waste product mounds” littering my yard?!?
The program is set to censor things out. In fact, it will even censor out a very famous actor from the 50s and 60s who starred in many great shows and movies, including one where he was the husband of Laura Petri. His name is, of course, Dick Van ****. But all you will see are a series of asterisks!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Van_**** (OH MY GOSH! It even does it to links!)

It is D.y.k.e. for anyone who didn’t already figure it out. Dick van D.y.k.e.

 

[Lorrie]

Yeah, the program does it. See, I do not think c.r.a.p is a bad word. It’s not. It’s a slang term for the feces (ie. undigested waste products) that every living creature produces (Ever hear of the book Everybody P.o.o.p.s? )ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71610F1MDNL.SL500_AA240.gif
To have a 16 YO boy (OR ANYONE ELSE IMO) say that is hardly a crime! Most people I know where I live call the dog messes in the yards c.r.a.p. It is a common occurance to tell the kids to pick up the dog c.r.a.p. When the geese decide to land on our pond and annoy us, they often leave big messes of goose c.r.a.p. behind. It is just a biological fact. It is not a swear word! I suppose you would think it better if I asked my boys to “pick up the expelled canine waste product mounds” littering my yard?!?
The program is set to censor things out. In fact, it will even censor out a very famous actor from the 50s and 60s who starred in many great shows and movies, including one where he was the husband of Laura Petri. His name is, of course, Dick Van ****. But all you will see are a series of asterisks!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Van_**** (OH MY GOSH! It even does it to links!)

It is D.y.k.e. for anyone who didn’t already figure it out. Dick van D.y.k.e.

Laugh! Great post, thank you.

 

[george4072]

thanks guys but all i see is a tunnel of spiraling darkness. my life is just misrable right now. i live in nowheresville usa so its like impossible to find a girl and i’m always negative .i coudln’t think one positive thought to save my life.

 

[Roman_Army]

thanks guys but all i see is a tunnel of spiraling darkness. my life is just misrable right now. i live in nowheresville usa so its like impossible to find a girl and i’m always negative .i coudln’t think one positive thought to save my life.

Yeah, I know the feeling that is depression. They say it’s the common cold of psychological disorders since perhaps most people get it in sometime in their lives. For some it’s a temporary thing which eventually goes away for others it takes longer to go away and requires treatment. Just, hang in there, try to be more realistic about things. Whenever a distorted negative thought pops in your head you can write it down on a peace of paper, identify its distortion, write it down, and then write down an objective realistic truthful thought refuting it. Do it in a triple column. You would see that at times our minds create delusional distorted thoughts and distorted interpretations of events and you can train yourself to not be so negative. It’s called cognitive therapy. You can also talk to someone about what you’re concerns are and how you feel. It helps. Also, above all prayer is the best therapy of all.

In regards to dating and marriage, as they say there is someone out there for everyone. But, like I said before it is important that you prepare yourself to have a healthy relationship that will last. There is also that classic saying “looks can be deceiving.” From my experience, a lot of those very attractive girls out there are not very attractive on the inside and getting involved with them can ruin your life quite literally.

May God bless you.

 

[TLM08]

thanks guys but all i see is a tunnel of spiraling darkness. my life is just misrable right now. i live in nowheresville usa so its like impossible to find a girl and i’m always negative .i coudln’t think one positive thought to save my life.

These are VERY common feelings… being young makes them feel bigger than they really are. Older people get these feelings too. It’s easy to feel like you are the only one going through it but I guarantee you… Lots of people feel this way.

Belive me… Finding a girlfriend is a lot like hitting a home run. The more you try the harder it can become. Good home run hitters know this! They just let things flow and take good firm quality swings focusing simply on making great contact, not worrying if it goes out of the park or not. Good home run hitters are always a little surprised when they hit one too because they aren’t focusing on it. They only swing at good pitches too. The home runs always come!

The reason I say this is because sometimes women are turned off if a guy is trying to hard. Remember to only swing at good pitches… (you want a godly girl who has some self respect and good christian values) Don’t press… develop a bigger circle of friends through church and school activities and just like the home run… she will show up!

Keep close to God and keep working on developing good personal habits and character traits through all of your life and you’ll be much better off. Helping others is the fastest way to get out of a mental funk too!

 

[kage_ar]

A girl will not make you happy. No other person will bring you peace and contentment. ONLY God can do that. Call your Priest, get an appointment to talk to him. Visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Read your Bible, pray a Rosary. Jesus is who you need.

 

[Peter_Dawson]

Yeah, the program does it. See, I do not think c.r.a.p is a bad word. It’s not. It’s a slang term for the feces (ie. undigested waste products) that every living creature produces (Ever hear of the book Everybody P.o.o.p.s? )ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71610F1MDNL.SL500_AA240.gif
To have a 16 YO boy (OR ANYONE ELSE IMO) say that is hardly a crime! Most people I know where I live call the dog messes in the yards c.r.a.p. It is a common occurance to tell the kids to pick up the dog c.r.a.p. When the geese decide to land on our pond and annoy us, they often leave big messes of goose c.r.a.p. behind. It is just a biological fact. It is not a swear word! I suppose you would think it better if I asked my boys to “pick up the expelled canine waste product mounds” littering my yard?!?
The program is set to censor things out. In fact, it will even censor out a very famous actor from the 50s and 60s who starred in many great shows and movies, including one where he was the husband of Laura Petri. His name is, of course, Dick Van ****. But all you will see are a series of asterisks!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Van_**** (OH MY GOSH! It even does it to links!)

It is D.y.k.e. for anyone who didn’t already figure it out. Dick van D.y.k.e.

The CAF program is not defective.

They don’t want potty talk in the website.

And thank heavens!

 

[Peter_Dawson]

thanks guys but all i see is a tunnel of spiraling darkness. my life is just misrable right now. i live in nowheresville usa so its like impossible to find a girl and i’m always negative .i coudln’t think one positive thought to save my life.

Pray, listen, and respond.

 

[Dchsknight]

i’m 16 and have been struggling with sexual immpurity. but the things is i basically “need” it to make life tolerable for me cuz i have a HUGE, grueling classs schedule/ plus a three hour practice right after that/ then 2 hours of homework.every day. i basically need it as a sense of relief from each day and i’m horribly lonely so it helps me forget my lonliness. i’ve basically given up on God’s plan for pure love, which to me is a bunch of horsecrap cuz everyone is having premarital sex these days. and if he wanted me to have a girl in my life, she would of came by now, cuz everyone around me is going in and out of the dating scene.

thoughts?

Young Man… your 16… First and foremost, get over yourself. Right now in your life, you have nothing to worry about. You dont have a job, you dont have to pay taxes, you are taken care of. RELAX!

About being Lonely, your 16, it is not gonna get any better. I have a suggestion. Stop asking God for a date, what the heck are you gonna do at 16. Can you get married? dont think so, So stop asking. Ask for this instead… Ask God to work in your heart to make you a better man. Ask him to help make your heart ready for that Girl, instead of asking for that girl. You have a long road ahead of you, and it does not get easier. At this point in your life, WORK on you. make yourself better. Where are you parents in this. I know sounds weird in a teenager’s life, but really your father, if you can talk to him, is the best man to go to about this. Your father is presumably married and has dealt with Sex as you exist. Go to him.

Young man, you are at a stage in life where in most cultures you are set free. you are set free to figure out just who the hell you are…presumably you live in America, because you sound like one of us. America is jacked up. We live in a world were swords and battles no longer are near and close to our hearts as men. There are no William Wallace, or Robert the Bruce, there is no Cedric of the Wessex, there is no King Aurthur. We do not live in a wild world any more. Figure out what you need to do to regain that wildness. Men are wild. Men are born into a great and powerful role and we are not allowed to be in because of what this world has done to men. This world has chased our hearts into mountains and set up snipers to shoot us when our hearts show up. Fight for your heart, because no one else will. Not even God. We have to figure out how to stand on our own and then choose to follow God. it is hard world to stand in. The enemy is all around us. If you don’t know how to fight then the emeny will murder you the first chance he can. So Young man, learn how to fight, Get your *** in church every second that you can. Ignore the bigots and learn from your father in heaven. he will guide you and show you how to use your sword which is the Word of God. Once you have learned how to use your sword, USE IT! FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE DEVIL, DO NOT give him an INCH of your heart.

the funny thing is… Once you figure out how to do this. Women will come flocking to you. Because built into the heart of every woman no matter what she says or what she is, She wants a Man that can fight for her. You are lonely, Learn to be the most dangerous warrior on the battle field that you can. Stand for your God unwavering, Stand as a warrior and taunt the darkness and insult it and beckon it to come at you and then kill it with out hesitation and she will come for you. A woman wants a man that can fight for her. So learn to fight for her.

Learn and never stop learning. The enemy will switch up tactics on you faster then fashion changes it’s looks. he has been practicing the art of Destroying alot longer then most of the this world has been in existence so you have to learn how to defend against him and learn it fast or he will devour you.

Lastly young man, Maybe your problem is that you are too busy. your stress seems to build this desire for this impurity maybe you need to calm down on what you do, so that your stress does not get so high. And remember your not alone. You never have to stand alone. there are many of us warriors who wish to share their experience with the younger knights of our generation, all you have to do is ask us. we should teach you, and we should teach you with out Condemnation. Seek out wisdom and make your self wise, for wisdom is more precious then any woman.

the bad news is, there is no simple answer. there is not simple prayer to pray. there is no simple task that must be done in order to rid your self of this impurity. It is an up hill fight day in and day out and the hill is almsot vertical and the enmey likes stack on weight after weight.

The best news is this, the battle is already won and the Devil is a sore loser. he has lost and lost hard. So trust in the great Warlord our God and Savior, Seek out wisdom. Seek out your heart and once you have it never let go of it. learn to fight back, And never give an inch of your heart or soul to the devil. Read the book of Joshua in the bible for a good idea on how to find your heart.

There is a movie i suggest you watch called “The 13th Warrior” there is a character named Herger the Joyous. The Arabian in the movie is unarmed and is travaling with Herger and his Viking Brethren. At one point the Arabian needs a sword and Herger throws him a sword, A viking sword, which is at least a good 20lbs heavier then any scimitar. The Arabian says " I can not swing this, it is too heavy!" Herger answers “Grow Stronger”

Dchsknight Throws a claymore to the OP and says “Grow stronger”

Your brother and fellow Warrior.

You can always contact me on this forums for anything. I am always willing to pray fight and teach. You just have to ask.

 

[TLM08]

thanks guys but all i see is a tunnel of spiraling darkness. my life is just misrable right now. i live in nowheresville usa so its like impossible to find a girl and i’m always negative .i coudln’t think one positive thought to save my life.

Once you’ve found a girl… there is a whole new set of challenges to deal with. In the teen years, relationships almost always end in an instant. There is usually a lot of pain when they end too… expecially when that girl is seen out with her new boyfriend. Just think about that when you are feeling lonely. Don’t get* too involved with anyone until you are well into your 20s. For now, talk to lots of girls but don’t *ask any of them out. You’ll develop your confidence that way.


Develop a large circle of friends… That is your best bet. You might even wind up with a girlfriend or two out of the deal. Just don’t get too attached!!!

 

[george4072]

great advice all around. thank you!

 

[rwoehmke]

A girl will not make you happy. No other person will bring you peace and contentment. ONLY God can do that. Call your Priest, get an appointment to talk to him. Visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Read your Bible, pray a Rosary. Jesus is who you need.

George this post is right on. With your schedule you should be so exhausted by bedtime that you would fall asleep almost instantly… Are you perhaps over stimulating your mind with thoughts about the female form and what it might promise. Are you by any chance overstimulated by poring over pornography? I remember sixteen, although it was many many years ago. If I would have had your schedule and doing justice to it , I don’t think falling asleep with out “relaxation” would have been a problem. I didn’t have three hours of sports per day, but I did have hay to throw down and feed, manure to haul out, and fresh bedding straw for the cows. Most mornings and nights Dad did the milking, but on occasion that fell to me as well. Homework happened every night. When my Mom had a heart attack, my younger brother and sister and I had to pick up the cooking, cleaning, and washing until she recovered.

I am not saying you don’t have real problem, but I am thinking there is more to it than what you describe. By the way I never had a date with a real live girl till I was eighteen. Just couldn’t find the girl or the time…