Huge domestic dilemma

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Mattjolley

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Without going into too much detail, my dad has an old mobile phone which I know he has used in the past to text another woman. He was caught out by my mother and theyre still married, but as I am 22 I dont know where I stand on this (Consideirng 'Honour thy father and mother):

I caught him with the same phone today and he claimed nothing has happened and he will even give me the phone to prove so. As It stands I have the power to either tell my mum, or let him get away with whatever he was up to. He claims he was going to use it for other reasons, like texting his brother, because he’s sick of my mum checking his regular phone. He claims he’s unhappy and is using the phone to text his brther for advice. To me this sounds like rubbish, but since I’m a little too old to follow ‘honor father and mother’, I cna own my own home and so forth!!😦

I dont know what to do. Should I tell my mum and cause a huge argument?

Whilst writing this he has allowed me to destroy the sim card from the phone and given me the phone to dispose of. Now I really don’t know what to do. I certainly dont think its my place to be burdened with this but I dont know what to do. Ive spoken to my brother and he will probably tell my mum either way, but Im just struggling between the choices of keeping quiet or causing a huge family row. Im worried hes allowed me to just dispose of any evidence and lied to me, but i was open about this and just had to trust him. its such hard work!

Matt
 
well, I guess this is something I should be discussing with my Priest instead of a messageboard. Sorry everyone.
 
Wow Matt that is a lot to be burdened with. Remember that to reveal someones faults to another person, even if true, can be a sin. I would be careful about being your fathers keeper. Talking to your priest is an excellent idea.
 
well I destroyed his phone, which he encouraged me to do,so theres no chance of him texting whoever it was!

But are you saying that if I was to go and tell my mum about this, it would be a sin? I think Im just watching out for her, you know, she being my mother and all! I have her best interests at heart, I wouldnt want to keep something from her. I dont know. I’ll talk to my priest tomorrow.
 
You might want to post this in Family Life or ask a mod to move it for you.
 
Matt, all I can do is pray for your Dad and Mum, and for you and your brother.
Please God your Dad will be shocked out of this behaviour by being found out by his son.
 
kmoore said:
Wow Matt that is a lot to be burdened with. Remember that to reveal someones faults to another person, even if true, can be a sin. I would be careful about being your fathers keeper. Talking to your priest is an excellent idea.
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It is not always, though. To reveal knowledge of someone’s faults that can save the health or life of someone else would not be a sin (ie. infidelity could mean STD could mean compromised health).

Dad now knows it is no longer a secret, so hopefully, he will stop this nonsense.
 
yeah hopefully he will cut it out, whatever he was up to! I had a good talk with him about confession, though. Seems he wants to go back for the first time since his teens. Which Im glad about!
 
Mattjolley said:
yeah hopefully he will cut it out, whatever he was up to! I had a good talk with him about confession, though. Seems he wants to go back for the first time since his teens. Which Im glad about!
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Yes, I’m glad about that as well. 👍

If it were me, I would not get in the middle of anything. You don’t know for sure what your Dad was doing so by telling your Mum, you might actually be causing her unnecessary worry and pain.

My prayers for your family. You sound like such a nice son.
 
You do not have to burden your mother with this information.You don’t actually have proof of anything. Talk to your priest.

BTW if your Mom is checking up on your Dad all the time it’s not good for either of them.

Suggest to one or both of them that they go on a Retrouvaille weekend. They might have to travel a bit though.

I’m having difficulty finding a UK website. You might have to ask at your diocese or ask your priest.
 
When Jesus forgave the prostitute he did not go announcing matters to everyone. Also, he told her to “…go and sin no more.”

Perhaps you and your father could take a father/son trip to the nearest confessional and then leave it up to your father and God. He is Catholic, right?

My class of high school kids went to confession Monday evening. One girl was worried about confessing. I told her confession is just like cleaning a dirty table. You do it to make the table better - same with the soul. Afterwards, when we were, back in class the kids were filled with a joy. They started giggling and laughing. Normally when I “shhh” them they become quiet, but this was something special. I even started laughing just because the spirit in the room was so joyful. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :harp:

So if he is up for a confession I think it will do him good and you too.

God bless
 
Yes, he is Catholic.
Unfortunately, he is of the mindset that occasional mass attendance is fine and he can recieve the Eucharist regardless of his past.

I’m the only person in my family who regularly attends weekday mass, serves at sunday mass and goes to confession regularly.

He approached me about going to confession yesterday. I told him all about it, he hasn’t been since he was in his teens, he’s 48 now and I’m 22. He was asking me how it works, what you say and so on.

Luckily, my parish Priest is spearheading a confession revival in our parish and has attached help sheets in the confessional to walk newcomers and reverts through the sacrament, so if he went on his own, he wouldnt be lost:)

The big trouble is that I am well aware of the things he has done over the years, that he ought to confess.I will suggest he makes a general confession,obviously.

I just dont want to be telling him all the things he should confess, how judgemental would that make me in God’s eyes?!? At the same time I worry he won’t include the shadier things I know he has done, and will be too general.

All I can do really is encourage a good examination of conscience I suppose, and pray for my dad!😉

Matt
 
Yeah, he went yesterday. He said it was hard but worth it. Talk about stating the obvious! 🙂
 
Im just glad my witness is having a good effect on at least one of my family. i keep praying for the conversion of my brother, who refused confirmation at 15, he’s my next challenge:thumbsup:
 
Mattjolley said:
Im just glad my witness is having a good effect on at least one of my family. i keep praying for the conversion of my brother, who refused confirmation at 15, he’s my next challenge:thumbsup:
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What is your brother’s story?
 
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