Hugging in Church

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I was wondering if people have an excess number of huggers or hugging is widely spread in your church or parish?

I am a single woman who was divorced and annulled a few years ago. I was also diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago as well. I mean from the parking lot, sign of peace, in the gathering area, hugging. I do not feel like I want to hug people I barely know and also once my divorced was finalized I now get looks from a few women when their husbands hug me.

It is getting ridiculous. I feel uneasy going to my own church because of hugs. From other women, fine. But the lingering hugs, reaching under coat hugs, bodies pressed against you hugs are not what one should be inflicting on another parishioner. I actually had a man hug me and then proceeded to poke me with an umbrella for 5 minutes stating he just had to give me trouble when I repeatedly said no you don’t. I didn’t sleep or two weeks as it aggrevated my PTSD.

Any words of wisdom or advice? I don’t want to seem rude but I enjoy church and also my sleep.😃
 
Have you talked to the pastor about this? I haven’t seen anyone do things like that in my parish, thank goodness.

If I were you when someone went in for a hug I would step back and say you have a cold, that should stop them. Whenever I have a cold I do not shake hands, I just motion to my nose and they get the idea.

Also, maybe stay back from the group that are the most huggers, maybe they will get the message.
 
Hint for you,if approached then Put right hand just above left Elbow, so your elbow is out front of your body, it’s a simple method of self defence
 
It all sounds very inappropriate. I’m a huggy person, but I certainly wouldn’t hug people at church unless they were friends outside church. I don’t blame you for being irritated by it.
 
jenny2682 said:
I was wondering if people have an excess number of huggers or hugging is widely spread in your church or parish?

I am a single woman who was divorced and annulled a few years ago. I was also diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago as well. I mean from the parking lot, sign of peace, in the gathering area, hugging. I do not feel like I want to hug people I barely know and also once my divorced was finalized I now get looks from a few women when their husbands hug me.

It is getting ridiculous. I feel uneasy going to my own church because of hugs. From other women, fine. But the lingering hugs, reaching under coat hugs, bodies pressed against you hugs are not what one should be inflicting on another parishioner. I actually had a man hug me and then proceeded to poke me with an umbrella for 5 minutes stating he just had to give me trouble when I repeatedly said no you don’t. I didn’t sleep or two weeks as it aggrevated my PTSD.

Any words of wisdom or advice? I don’t want to seem rude but I enjoy church and also my sleep.😃
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I admire your restraint; I probably would have ended up grabbing his umbrella away from him. 🙂

Seriously, when one of these people approaches you, either step back, or hold out your hand to shake theirs. Both, if necessary. Don’t worry about seeming rude; THEY’RE the ones being rude.
 
agnes_therese said:
I admire your restraint; I probably would have ended up grabbing his umbrella away from him. 🙂

Seriously, when one of these people approaches you, either step back, or hold out your hand to shake theirs. Both, if necessary. Don’t worry about seeming rude; THEY’RE the ones being rude.
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👍
 
I’m not at all a huggy person, aside from my wife and children. My friends from high school were always (and still are–30 years later) huggy people. Guys, girls, always with the hugs. Hugs hello, hugs goodbye.

So is the custom of hugging that you’re running into (literally?) a church thing? Or a people thing? It might just be the people at your church. There’s not much hugging at all at our church.
 
:nunchuk: Perhaps this with a little skunk eye.

All i can suggest is fold your arms across your chest in front of you or be ready to take a quick step back and extend your had for a shake instead.
 
I’m a hand-shaker, not a hugger. In fact, if my husband wasn’t such a hugger, I’d shake HIS hand at the sign of peace rather than hug him, lol! (we hug plenty outside of Church!) There’s too much hugging at my Church for my liking. I try to initiate the sign of peace with a handshake. I throw out my hand and say “peace be with you” before they get too close to me, so that’s all I’d be able to suggest. If you do it often enough before they get a chance to move in on you, maybe they’ll get the picture in time. I wish people would respect the personal space of others, especially those people they don’t know very well, but I know that hugging to some doesn’t seem as intimate as it does to me. I recently had a man we had only met once at a festival bring me in for a hug and kiss me on my cheek - not my thing - made me very uncomfortable. I hope you figure out a way to manage this issue. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to deal with that while having PTSD.
 
I would put your hand out as they approach and shake their hand instead. I do not like people touching me either.
Though you may not feel comfortable your could think of ways to tell them “do not touch me”. Say for example you would rather handshake. You could even use the excuse of germs and bugs… which are around year long. Or that you are not a hugger, or would rather not hug.
I agree I would talk to the pastor/priest of the church about this.
 
Why not try the EF Mass. We don’t do the sign of peace (huggy thing). Nor do we hold hands. 🙂
 
Our church is huggy-kissy. :rolleyes:
But this guy sounds just plain obnoxious.

It sounds like you probably need to sit elsewhere, but why should you have to?
I would have countered with a look that he couldn’t mistake for permission.
I’m sorry this happened to you.
I sit well away from people due to the hand-holding thing, but it often doesn’t work. 🤷

I would definitely mention it as an aside to the priest. He likely won’t say anything about it to anyone, but at least you’d let him know that you (and most likely others) are not keen on the practice.
 
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