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iHeartGrumpyCat
Guest
Haha, I could care less if they look. As far as I’m concerned that is a compliment.
The touching, however, is another matter.
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The touching, however, is another matter.
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JackieMom
Guest
I’ve always been told not to worry about what other people are thinking about. Some men have foot fetishes, and I have nice feet - does that mean I should never wear sandals or go barefoot at the pool? Why do I care what someone else is thinking? Not my problem.
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ActingCatholic
Guest
So, you promote the Alpha male mentality and think it’s sad that it’s “getting crushed out of us,” yet you’re offended by other men exhibiting and acting on that mentality. Seems contradictory.
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ActingCatholic
Guest
YES! Think of the scandal you’re causing in those poor, poor men
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JackieMom
Guest
You mean those perverted alpha males?YES! Think of the scandal you’re causing in those poor, poor men
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EasterJoy
Guest
In my experience, it is not the “alphas” who pull stuff like this. They tend to be betas or maybe gammas or deltas…the ones who survive by getting what they can while still staying under the radar. (Just sayin’.)
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thewanderer
Guest
So you don’t care how much they objectify your wife in their heads. You don’t care if they stare at her, and form a detailed picture focused on her most intimate features which they later use to get off on, just so long as they don’t touch her? Yeah, you clearly care about the dignity of your wife very much.
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EasterJoy
Guest
This is not the guy who wants your husband to know he could have your wife if he wanted her, just for the record. I think that is the guy you have in mind. I’m pretty sure the OP would know exactly how to handle that guy. I think his wife would land the first slap, to be blunt, and it would be all over after that.
No, the guy we’re talking about is the guy who could never have your wife in a million years. Maybe he thinks he’s an alpha who’s just had a run of bad luck, but we’re talking about a cousin to Larry the Lounge Lizard. What he does is to try to pass himself off as the guy who has just hugged everyone since he was six. Yeah, well, you can tell the difference between a guy who is innocent and the guy trying to pass himself off as the innocent guy. In the OP’s examples, I think the 4th guy was the innocent guy, and everyone else was that other guy, the guy who needs to get a level look from a nice woman who evenly tells him to cease and desist. (There is also another guy, the guy who could turn into the guy who’s going to have an affair with the OPs wife, but I don’t get the feeling the OPs wife is going there. Once she got a clear signal about what that kind wanted, she’d set him straight, too.)
The OPs wife has a positive view of humanity, so she probably thinks there is only Alpha Guy and Innocent Guy, but that’s not the way it is.
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thewanderer
Guest
I agree with you here that this is how the whole alphamale type attention should be handled. The wife should handle it rather than the husband. Even from the point of view of trying to be more “alpha” than the other guy this is more efficient. If a man can keep his woman by his force (ie him stepping in to prevent others from pushing boundaries) thats one thing, but it is even better if his wife herself prevents such overreaches of boundaries. Then it is clear that he doesn’t even have to use force to keep what is his.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
I just have to ask this:
How many men have responded to this thread v. women?
Show of hands, who is whom?
I know that EasterJoy and JackieMom are female, as I am. Fairwinds and the OP are male. Who else here has chimed in who is male?
How many men have responded to this thread v. women?
Show of hands, who is whom?
I know that EasterJoy and JackieMom are female, as I am. Fairwinds and the OP are male. Who else here has chimed in who is male?
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Then you will have to get between your wife and the possible gropers. Don’t tell them verbally, prevent them physically. Stand slightly in front of her, and when you introduce her to someone or you are both introduced, have your arm on hers or your hand at her back, you know what I mean. Now, unfortunately, she could still get groped/hugged when you aren’t there, which is why I suggested that she learn martial arts. Not really to throw the guy down, but to carry herself with a bit of an edge, so that men don’t feel a vibe of her being open to physical contact. Women who have martial arts training carry themselves differently.
Do not misinterpret my statement. Women can give off this vibe and not want attention. I am not saying she IS open to physical contact, only that she is unknowingly giving off body language that allows it.
I wonder why she doesn’t want to discuss it? Does she think you will get into an altercation with someone? If you go from 0-60 in testosterone surges, maybe you will have to assure her that you really won’t lop off someone’s noggin if he gives her a stupid spontaneous hug. But if it’s really bothering her as well, I don’t know why she would object to being protected by her man.
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iHeartGrumpyCat
Guest
Yes, you are correct, my eyes are completely woolless.And my suspicions are confirmed with the manosphere reference.
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hannajomar
Guest
If any behaviors in the op are wrong, it is not because the woman is married. They would still be wrong if she was single. It’s not wrong when it’s disrespectful to the husband. It’s wrong when it violates the dignity of the woman herself.
TheRealJuliane, I’m female, but I did ask my husband what his female hugging habits are. He said he generally doesn’t initiate hugs with women, although I know he is generally a friendly, “huggy” person. He is also very respectful towards women.
TheRealJuliane, I’m female, but I did ask my husband what his female hugging habits are. He said he generally doesn’t initiate hugs with women, although I know he is generally a friendly, “huggy” person. He is also very respectful towards women.
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iHeartGrumpyCat
Guest
Not at all. Matching Alpha with Alpha is normal. We were made to act that way.
Acting Beta is…asking to be a victim.
Not that a man should not have Beta skills, he should, but he should also have plenty of Alpha.
Balance is the key.
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iHeartGrumpyCat
Guest
I’m pretty sure that EasterJoy isn’t suggesting I would stand there like a milksop, but rather it would be all over after that because he would be wearing my hands as a necklace, or some such.I agree with you here that this is how the whole alphamale type attention should be handled. The wife should handle it rather than the husband. Even from the point of view of trying to be more “alpha” than the other guy this is more efficient. If a man can keep his woman by his force (ie him stepping in to prevent others from pushing boundaries) thats one thing, but it is even better if his wife herself prevents such overreaches of boundaries. Then it is clear that he doesn’t even have to use force to keep what is his.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Then your husband is a gentleman. They do exist. But the other sort exist also.
My husband is reticent to hug anyone, most especially a female he doesn’t know well. But being a red-blooded male, he would not block a hug from a good looking female if she insisted.
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thewanderer
Guest
I still can’t get over this. If I’m wrong about this please do correct me. But from everything you have written so far it sounds as though you view your wife as your personal belonging and trophy that you want to display to others but prevent them from touching for the sake of boosting your own ego and placing you further up the alpha-beta scale. That is an unbelievably sickening way to view your wife so I truly hope that I am mistaken about this, but it is truly what your posts sound like. If this really is the way you view and treat her I feel sorry for her, she deserves far better.So you don’t care how much they objectify your wife in their heads. You don’t care if they stare at her, and form a detailed picture focused on her most intimate features which they later use to get off on, just so long as they don’t touch her? Yeah, you clearly care about the dignity of your wife very much.
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thewanderer
Guest
Trust me, it is so much more alpha to just stand there with a self-assured stance as you watch your wife set them straight. The threat level is so low there is no need for you to even intervene kind of a thing.
Though I am still hoping you care about this situation for the sake of your wifes dignity rather than your own pride and alpha status, so I’m not really sure why I’m giving you advice on how to be even more alpha, but there it is.
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KendraDZ1902
Guest
I’m a girl!
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ActingCatholic
Guest
Ah, but are they logless?
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