It seems to me that the debate about Humanae Vitae is going nowhere. That’s not surprising when the anti-HV party keeps claiming that contraception and non-contraception are the same thing because the participants in both have the same intention. The advocates of that view seem not to notice that among the various peoples of the world almost all the really big issues are not about the ends to be sought but the means to get there. The participants of these other world debates, say the desirability of reducing man’s contribution to global warming, would all agree that the end does not make all the various means to get there the same. Regarding birth control, the end also does not homogenize the means.
My experience in the birth control debate is that those on the left do not want to debate but merely want a forum for assertion. Back in the Sixties and Seventies we used to hear about the need to “debate” the birth control issue. But when I showed in a liberal theological journal, Theological Studies, in 1971 that the decision-making principles of arch-dissenter Father Charles Curran couldn’t say a firm NO even to spouse swapping, there was absolutely no response.
Arguments can be helpful in some cases, but in order for people practicing contraception to accept Catholic teaching against all unnatural forms of birth control, such folks have to have certain dispositions. First, they need to realize the importance of living the truth. Second, they need to pray for the graces to seek the truth and to accept it no matter what the practical consequences. Third, they need to realize the difference between themselves and God. That means that they have to realize that their opinions count for absolutely nothing if God has already made it sufficiently clear what He wants people to believe.
To the person who originally posted the question, I would suggest giving your friend the book “Home Sweet Rome” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Some readers may recall their story. They were Protestants in a seminary. Kimberly took a seminar topic of birth control or maybe it was the Catholic position on birth control. Another wife in the same married student housing gave her a copy of “Birth Control and the Marriage Covenant.” When she shared it with Scott, he grumbled a bit, started to read it, and when he got to the key concept, he threw the book across the room. So what was the idea that grabbed him? Very simple—the covenant theology of sexuality. It can be stated in 17 words: “Sexual intercourse is intended by God to be at least implicitly a renewal of the marriage covenant.” Scott was really into covenant theology, and he immediately saw how contraception contradicted the marriage covenant. The body language says it all. When married spouses engage in the natural marriage act, their body language says, “We take each other once again for better and for worse, no matter what, till death do us part.” That can be elaborated considerably, but that’s enough for now. On the other hand, when contraceptive-using spouses engage in their form of sex act, the body language says something quite different. “We take each other once again but definitely and positively NOT for the imagined worse of possible pregnancy.” Their act contradicts their original marriage covenant and is therefore invalid and immoral. It is intrinsically dishonest, to use the words of HV 14.
So what did the Hahns have going for them that enabled them to see and to accept the truth of the traditional Christian teaching against contraception? They were truth seekers. Every day they prayed a prayer given to them by Kimberly’s father, a Presbyterian pastor. In doing so, they prayed for the graces to seek for and to accept the truth no matter what the consequences. They rejected their previous contraception and started to live the truth about the marriage act. Living out the moral truths of Christian discipleship enables one to accept the dogmatic truths. Today, the Hahns are recognized as outstanding converts who have been able to articulate the Catholic faith in a way that gives insights and makes sense to many.
The book that helped them is still available in an enlarged and more complete volume titled “Sex and the Marriage Covenant: A Basis for Morality” (Ignatius, 2005). And yes, I’m the author. You can find it at the website below. Some folks find it helpful.
John F. Kippley
www.NFPandmore.org