humility

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chataranga

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Greetings,
I’d like to share a lesson in humility that I experienced. First several days ago I had an “ah hah” moment where I remembered a series of events from many many years ago which at the time I treated my folks with disrespect but they never said anything to me at all. They bought me a guitar which I had asked for(I may have been about 12 years old or so). I took lessons until the tutor moved away a couple months later. After that I refused to take lessons with anyone else no matter how my parents urged me to. I never used the guitar again and finally a few years later my parents sold it to a cousin and I didn’t blink an eye-couldn’t have cared less.
So earlier this week I saw a teenage girl with a guitar strapped to her back as she rode a bicycle-that sight brought me back to all those years ago and how I had acted. I was overcome with sadness and even got a bit teary eyed.
Today I was with my mom(dad passed away years ago). I brought the incident up to her and apologized for my behavior, and acting like a jerk while they had spent time and money get me the guitar… She smiled and chuckled a bit and said “We paid for the lessons too.” then turned and walked away to turn on the tv I think.
I don’t know what I was expecting to happen or how she would react but that caught me off guard. I told her " I acted like a jerk." and apologized again, as I recall she didn’t say anything else.
I used to think as a kid that telling a priest something in the confessional would be humiliating and so I didn’t go to confession. I think that the experience today was much more humiliating than confessing to the priest and hearing the words of absolution. confessing to the person that we’ve wronged is in my view much harder and we may not get the “no problem” or “forget about it” that we may be hoping for. They probably need time to digest even if it’s something they’ve forgotten about and let go of years before. Blessings to all.
 
Thanks for sharing. For myself, I tend to recall my actions with my father. He died several years ago, but I still often ask his forgiveness for my pride and selfishness. As time passes, I become more aware of past failings.
 
I think it’s amazing you would think of something so long ago and see what you perceive as your selfishness in the matter and apologize. That was nice and I would give yourself a break. After all your tutor moved away and at the time you may have had youthful reasons to not want another teacher and were relatively young at the time.

Your mother may have been caught off guard by your “confession” and simply not known really what to say.

Blessings and Peace,

Mary.
 
Yes she was definitely caught off guard by my apology and it’s not like I was expecting her to say “I forgive you” at least not consciously. I simply felt that what I had done was wrong and needed correcting even after all these years. I felt very humbled the other day by apologizing and actually relieved after having apologized. I can only imagine how it must feel to voice ones shortcomings/sins in the confessional and hear the words of absolution. I can only envy those of you that do this on a weekly, monthly, even yearly basis. My ego is still too dominant for me to do such a thing. Kudos to those who have the humility to bare all to another. Even though I wouldn’t have thought of it this way decades ago-what a treasure the catholic(and other?) church has in the sacrament of reconciliation. Thank you to all who have read and to all who have responded to this thread. Blessings to all-stay safe.
 
Thank you. That is what I do now-lead yoga classes. A fellow teacher gave me the nickname. Blessings to you and yours.
 
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