Humorous Confessions

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…i can remember as a young child trying to think up some sins while in the “box” as we called it… i gave him the usual, “i disobeyed my parents”, “i fought with my brothers and sister’s” , and i a second of silence while looking for additional sins, all of a sudden from through the screen came the remark… I got that beat!..

Now at 10 years old i didn’t get it or understand the remark… today i laugh my sheet of thinking of just how mondane it must have been for the poor priest to listen to classroom after classroom of children with the same old sins…

Fr Meder, dead now, but definitely a saint today… he was great…👍

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Couldn’t respond to poll because while mine has never laughed or chuckled, he is not stern.

However, I have noticed that he has smiled and nodded with approval on my admission when stating something that is complex, yet equally sinful. Case in point are attitudes. Attitudes can be as sinful as actions and many people don’t realize it.
 
I got a chuckle… I confessed something that had me laden with guilt, and he smirked saying that as long as it did not take away from a normal relationship, it wasn’t necessarily a sin…

I left pretty confused…

Peace,

Pisio
 
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Pisio:
I got a chuckle… I confessed something that had me laden with guilt, and he smirked saying that as long as it did not take away from a normal relationship, it wasn’t necessarily a sin…

I left pretty confused…

Peace,

Pisio
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Yes, it is a sin. Sigh. I wish clergy would get their act together on this one.
 
I don’t know that I’ve ever prompted laughter from a priest, but I did get a kind of half-chuckle and an understanding smile when I was telling the priest about how my attitude in prayer could use improvement. It comforted me, because the way he did it (I can’t really describe it well), it made it seem like he knew from experience what I was dealing with. In that case, because what I was experiencing was spiritual dryness, he probably had experienced it. It just made me feel better to know that my struggles aren’t unique to me, and that others are struggling with the same things. It comforts me to know we can struggle together.
It was amazing, no matter what it was, he would treat it so lightly and just laugh it off, whether it was a serious sin or not a sin at all. I think he just believes so strongly in the absolute powerlessness of evil that he can laugh in it’s face. I found it very comforting.
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I was once talking with a priest, and he said, “Well, the devil tries to make us fall into despair, but we don’t listen to him.” The way he said it just made it seem like the devil was so powerless and really couldn’t hurt us if we didn’t listen to him, and I found that to be comforting. It really helped me not listen to temptations to despair.
 
I promise not to mention anything in this post that I shouldn’t.

I haven’t heard a priest laugh in confession, but I sure have.

Back when I was a kid, we never went to confession face-to-face. It was always in a confessional, down on my knees, in the dark. The confessionals had booths on two sides, with the priest in the middle. You spoke through a little screen.

Anyway, one time I had just entered the confessional and knelt down when I realized I could hear the voice of the person confessing on the other side. Worse yet, I recognized the voice–it was my uncle! Well, as a good Catholic girl, I did just as the nuns had instructed us: I clamped my hands over my ears.

Fortunately, I hadn’t really heard him confess a sin. So I waited, there in the dark, with my hands clamped as tightly on my ears as I could. And I waited and waited and waited . . . eventually my hands began trembling from holding them so tight. I couldn’t help thinking my uncle sure had a lot to confess. I began to realize I was not going to be able to hold my hands up much longer. So I told myself I would bring them down, shake them out, then clamp them back on again. I would not listen while my hands were down.

This, of course, was like saying, “Don’t think of an elephant.” I brought my hands down just in time to hear my uncle say, “Well, yeah. But how do you think the Dodgers will do this year?”
 
Kay Cee:
I promise not to mention anything in this post that I shouldn’t.

I haven’t heard a priest laugh in confession, but I sure have.

Back when I was a kid, we never went to confession face-to-face. It was always in a confessional, down on my knees, in the dark. The confessionals had booths on two sides, with the priest in the middle. You spoke through a little screen.

Anyway, one time I had just entered the confessional and knelt down when I realized I could hear the voice of the person confessing on the other side. Worse yet, I recognized the voice–it was my uncle! Well, as a good Catholic girl, I did just as the nuns had instructed us: I clamped my hands over my ears.

Fortunately, I hadn’t really heard him confess a sin. So I waited, there in the dark, with my hands clamped as tightly on my ears as I could. And I waited and waited and waited . . . eventually my hands began trembling from holding them so tight. I couldn’t help thinking my uncle sure had a lot to confess. I began to realize I was not going to be able to hold my hands up much longer. So I told myself I would bring them down, shake them out, then clamp them back on again. I would not listen while my hands were down.

This, of course, was like saying, “Don’t think of an elephant.” I brought my hands down just in time to hear my uncle say, “Well, yeah. But how do you think the Dodgers will do this year?”
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Now let me tell you, that is absolutely scary - the double-booth issue. I’ve seen that in some of the older churches and all they have is a curtain yet on the outside.

I have an easier time telling my worst offense to a priest face-to-face in his office, than I would in a situation where someone else my hear. My church is old too, but they converted those confessionals. Only one booth is used now, not both. Phew.

:o
 
One time I confessed that I missed mass while on vacation. The priest laughed out loud and said when you’re on vacation, you’re not expected to go to mass.

Another time he laughed when I was trying to think of a delicate way to describe a sin that I was embarrassed about. He laughed at my awkwardness and embarrassment.
 
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PiusXIII:
One time I confessed that I missed mass while on vacation. The priest laughed out loud and said when you’re on vacation, you’re not expected to go to mass.
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huh???
 
My confessor chuckles because:
  • Sometimes, in an effort to tell my sins as concisely yet completely as possible, I malaprop.
  • Sometimes, in an effort to be honest, I blurt it out in everyday, colloquial verbage.
  • Sometimes, I just feel as if I am the only person who ever sinned in the universe. This is a good chuckle, followed by words of comfort.
 
I never heard the priest laugh durring confession, BUT, at my first confession, in 1963, while our class of 7 year olds were standing in line waiting to go in the confessional - one of my classmates was telling his sins to the priest, when we heard the priest yell out, “I WANT TO HEAR YOUR SINS, NOT YOUR BROTHERS!”:eek:

That scared the heck out of all of us. :rotfl:
 
This thread makes me feel like an outsider.

I have been going to confession for over fifty years and I never heard a priest giggle, chuckle or laugh during confession. The closest thing to humor was when I may have been 28 or 30 a priest called me “old timer”.
 
I’m lucky enough to have pretty darn stern confessors (with really light penances :P) but yes once a priest did chuckle, i voted incorrectly.
 
You’d have to ask my brother, he’s the priest in the family.

As for my Pastor, the sacrament is serious, and I don’t think he would chuckle.
 
I went on and on one time about a sin I have been battling with for some time. After I finished the priest laughed slightly and said, “Is there a sin in there somewhere?”
 
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Lux_et_veritas:
Now let me tell you, that is absolutely scary - the double-booth issue. I’ve seen that in some of the older churches and all they have is a curtain yet on the outside.

I have an easier time telling my worst offense to a priest face-to-face in his office, than I would in a situation where someone else my hear. My church is old too, but they converted those confessionals. Only one booth is used now, not both. Phew.

:o
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The church I grew up on had this type of confessional (double-booth, only a curtain on the outside) and confessions were heard before Mass. Funny how all the pews right next to the confessional curtains (about 2 feet away only!) always filled up first!
 
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Elzee:
The church I grew up on had this type of confessional (double-booth, only a curtain on the outside) and confessions were heard before Mass. Funny how all the pews right next to the confessional curtains (about 2 feet away only!) always filled up first!
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:bigyikes: - I would have drove to the next town!!!
 
My 8 year old made his first confession earlier this year. We were out of town when the rest of his class made it, so we made arrangements with Father to do it one Saturday evening after Mass. There was no big mystery to either about who the other occupant of the box was, but son chose to go on the side with the screen. (I’m a face-to-face person, myself.)

When they came out a few minutes later, they were both smiling. My little one was no doubt relieved. Father was chuckling because as soon as they entered the booth, my son tapped on the screen and says “Hello??? Is this thing ON?” So much for the “Bless me Father…” intro.
 
Just this year, while in the confessional, I had a slip of the tongue that set Father back on his heels and then gave him a good laugh.

At the end of Confession, I was thinking how grateful I am to our Lord for the sacrament of reconciliation at the same time I was saying “for these and all my sins…”

What came out of my mouth was, “For these and all of my sins I am heartily grateful” which was quickly followed by stammering and stuttering and “I mean, sorry… I’m heartily sorry.”

Father was silent for what seemed like an eternity, then laughed out loud.
 
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