L
Lorrie
Guest
You guys, I’m in a bad spot right now. Quick background, I was with a guy for about 6 years. During this period there was a lot of good times but also a lot of bad times. He would go out a lot with his friends, get drunk and either come home and do cocaine and stay up until the sun came up or he would get drunk, come home and then end up beating me. The latter didn’t happen a lot, maybe once every 6 months. I know it shouldn’t have happened at all, but I’m just letting you guys know how it was.
I have always been the type of person who is stable, understanding, “keep the peace”, etc. type of person. He was the type that was always going out drinking (I don’t drink, much less do drugs), angry, always stressed out ,etc. Like I said, there was a lot of good times of course, the conversations we would have (he’s highly intelligent), we would laugh all the time, life seemed easy and simple because we were so young. His family loved me and my family loved him. No one knew of our fighting and how bad it would get, etc.
Anyway, I left him after 6 years. I had never really been on my own and I felt like I was dying to be independent. We had been drifting apart for the last year. He had cheated on me during the relationship and I cheated on him the last year we were together (neither of us found out about the other until months after breaking up). No good was obviously coming from our relationship. I moved out and was miserable for the first year or so, always crying, missing him. His mom would come over and I would lay my head in her lap and just weep while she smoothed her hand over my hair.
Its been almost 4 years since I left him. I moved back home to Arkansas to be closer to my family, life was getting a lot easier (concerning my feelings and thoughts for him). I have always stayed in touch with his mom because she was like a second mother to me. About 2 1/2 months ago I called his mom and he answered the phone. I was in shock. Just to clarify, I talked to him on the phone right before I moved, he cried, I cried, it was horrible. All in all we both knew I was doing the right thing.
Anyway, so him and I have been talking on the phone for the last few months. He flew here and had Christmas with me and my family, everything was so nice. It seemed as though we had both done a lot of growing up. We had several serious talks about the past and when he left we agreed that we would just see how things go between us and don’t rush back into anything.
I meant to add that while we were broken up (him in Texas, me in Arkansas) he had a girlfriend and she got pregnant. They had broken up about 3 weeks before we talked on the phone for the first time here recently. Their daughter will turn 1 in a month.
Gosh, this is so long, I’m so sorry you guys. Anyway, like I said, we had a really good visit while he was here, everything was great. We’ve talked on the phone since his visit and last week I booked him a flight to come back up this coming Thursday.
The last time I talked to him was this past Friday night. Saturday evening I was worried because I hadn’t heard from him all day and his cell phone was off so I called a friend of his and the friend said that the ex-girlfriend was there visiting him (my ex-boyfriend). Its now Tuesday morning, his phone remains off and he has yet to call me.
On Sunday I cancelled the flight and left him a message on his cell saying that if going back to her was what he wanted to do then that was fine, also telling him that I just wanted him to be happy, etc. It was a nice message I left, nothing ugly or nasty.
Now I feel like I’m in such a state of depression. I missed Mass on Sunday because I felt so heartbroken and angry. All I wanted to do was sleep. Over the last few months I have wired him a lot of money because he said he needed it for this or that, $3,000 to be exact. When he was here we went shopping and I spent at least $2,000 on him. The dollar amount wasn’t the issue, it was the principle of it. Every time I wired him money he would always say he would send it back but I always told him not to. As long as he was taken care of that’s all that mattered. I couldn’t stand the thought of him having nothing or very little.
(Continued below)…
I have always been the type of person who is stable, understanding, “keep the peace”, etc. type of person. He was the type that was always going out drinking (I don’t drink, much less do drugs), angry, always stressed out ,etc. Like I said, there was a lot of good times of course, the conversations we would have (he’s highly intelligent), we would laugh all the time, life seemed easy and simple because we were so young. His family loved me and my family loved him. No one knew of our fighting and how bad it would get, etc.
Anyway, I left him after 6 years. I had never really been on my own and I felt like I was dying to be independent. We had been drifting apart for the last year. He had cheated on me during the relationship and I cheated on him the last year we were together (neither of us found out about the other until months after breaking up). No good was obviously coming from our relationship. I moved out and was miserable for the first year or so, always crying, missing him. His mom would come over and I would lay my head in her lap and just weep while she smoothed her hand over my hair.
Its been almost 4 years since I left him. I moved back home to Arkansas to be closer to my family, life was getting a lot easier (concerning my feelings and thoughts for him). I have always stayed in touch with his mom because she was like a second mother to me. About 2 1/2 months ago I called his mom and he answered the phone. I was in shock. Just to clarify, I talked to him on the phone right before I moved, he cried, I cried, it was horrible. All in all we both knew I was doing the right thing.
Anyway, so him and I have been talking on the phone for the last few months. He flew here and had Christmas with me and my family, everything was so nice. It seemed as though we had both done a lot of growing up. We had several serious talks about the past and when he left we agreed that we would just see how things go between us and don’t rush back into anything.
I meant to add that while we were broken up (him in Texas, me in Arkansas) he had a girlfriend and she got pregnant. They had broken up about 3 weeks before we talked on the phone for the first time here recently. Their daughter will turn 1 in a month.
Gosh, this is so long, I’m so sorry you guys. Anyway, like I said, we had a really good visit while he was here, everything was great. We’ve talked on the phone since his visit and last week I booked him a flight to come back up this coming Thursday.
The last time I talked to him was this past Friday night. Saturday evening I was worried because I hadn’t heard from him all day and his cell phone was off so I called a friend of his and the friend said that the ex-girlfriend was there visiting him (my ex-boyfriend). Its now Tuesday morning, his phone remains off and he has yet to call me.
On Sunday I cancelled the flight and left him a message on his cell saying that if going back to her was what he wanted to do then that was fine, also telling him that I just wanted him to be happy, etc. It was a nice message I left, nothing ugly or nasty.
Now I feel like I’m in such a state of depression. I missed Mass on Sunday because I felt so heartbroken and angry. All I wanted to do was sleep. Over the last few months I have wired him a lot of money because he said he needed it for this or that, $3,000 to be exact. When he was here we went shopping and I spent at least $2,000 on him. The dollar amount wasn’t the issue, it was the principle of it. Every time I wired him money he would always say he would send it back but I always told him not to. As long as he was taken care of that’s all that mattered. I couldn’t stand the thought of him having nothing or very little.
(Continued below)…
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And you will wonder why you hung onto this twit!
