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PatriceA
Guest
You’re right, its probably time to drop the subject. But you and your brother and all involved are in my prayers.
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symPhonic47
Guest
Thank you SO MUCH Patrice…I appreciate that much more than I can say…I will be praying for you and your family too…
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aicirt
Guest
It is her father’s sister. There are things one does. I would not have invited two aunts on my mother’s side without inviting the one from my father’s side. If that is what my father wanted, I would have done it.The shower hostess was my future MIL. (Don’t even start with how bad that is, trust me, I wasn’t consulted.) And yes, she knew the size of the wedding.
But, back to the OP. She was upset that she wasn’t invited to the wedding. It didn’t seem that she was upset that she got an invite to the shower. Just how the invite was worded.
I still go back to, the OP isn’t particularly fond of her niece. Why would she want to go to the wedding? And if I knew what she thought of me, I certainly wouldn’t want her at my wedding.
How many people would you invite to a wedding that you knew didn’t like you and you weren’t too fond of them?
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sonbell
Guest
I think if your original plan was to send a gift to the wedding then that is what you should do. Shower gifts (any gifts) are optional.
A few years back my husband and I renewed our vows, our budget was very tight so we limited our guest list to our parents and siblings. A few cousins and friends asked why they were left out and we told them the truth, it was simply financial. We didn’t ask for gifts of course but were grateful for what we were blessed with and did acknowledge the people that chose to give. Even a few aunts that weren’t invited found it in their hearts to send a card congradulating us on our renewal, I think those meant the most to us, because they knew that us not inviting them didn’t mean we wouldn’t have loved for them to have joined us, they knew and respected that we simply couldn’t afford a bigger reception.
Now I have a different question, please forgive me OP for asking this on your thread. My daughter is getting married in August. She and her fiance are footing most of the bill. His family and my husband and I are covering I’d say almost 1/2 of it. That being said, I have stayed out of trying to influence who they want invite. She gave me a list of people in our side of the family that she wants invited and I am sticking to that list in asking for addresses. Her fiance did the same with his mother.
My daughter was upset the other day over how to avoid asking her cousin’s partner to the wedding. They live together in an alternative lifestyle and she doesn’t want to offend other family members if she doesn’t invite them, but she doesn’t want them at the wedding. (they tend to be very flamboyant, especially around those of us that aren’t supporters of their life choice) away from his partner my nephew is very loving to all and she’d love to have him there, but with his partner he is very disrespectful. My suggestion was to simply invite her aunt and uncle and family (family meaning it includes this nephew) and pray that they would have sense enough not to bring my nephew’s partner. I know this is odd being that the two live together and not with my sister in law. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
A few years back my husband and I renewed our vows, our budget was very tight so we limited our guest list to our parents and siblings. A few cousins and friends asked why they were left out and we told them the truth, it was simply financial. We didn’t ask for gifts of course but were grateful for what we were blessed with and did acknowledge the people that chose to give. Even a few aunts that weren’t invited found it in their hearts to send a card congradulating us on our renewal, I think those meant the most to us, because they knew that us not inviting them didn’t mean we wouldn’t have loved for them to have joined us, they knew and respected that we simply couldn’t afford a bigger reception.
Now I have a different question, please forgive me OP for asking this on your thread. My daughter is getting married in August. She and her fiance are footing most of the bill. His family and my husband and I are covering I’d say almost 1/2 of it. That being said, I have stayed out of trying to influence who they want invite. She gave me a list of people in our side of the family that she wants invited and I am sticking to that list in asking for addresses. Her fiance did the same with his mother.
My daughter was upset the other day over how to avoid asking her cousin’s partner to the wedding. They live together in an alternative lifestyle and she doesn’t want to offend other family members if she doesn’t invite them, but she doesn’t want them at the wedding. (they tend to be very flamboyant, especially around those of us that aren’t supporters of their life choice) away from his partner my nephew is very loving to all and she’d love to have him there, but with his partner he is very disrespectful. My suggestion was to simply invite her aunt and uncle and family (family meaning it includes this nephew) and pray that they would have sense enough not to bring my nephew’s partner. I know this is odd being that the two live together and not with my sister in law. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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symPhonic47
Guest
Sonbell,
I was so troubled because I was very sad last week over the lost of my beloved pet (I live alone) and so things that ordinarily might not bother me as much did so…also I had had no sleep…I wanted to give all 3 of my brother’s children the very same very generous amount that I gave the first one…that is what I am going to do whether I am invited to anything or not BECAUSE I was still struggling with forgiving her for what I perceived as a slight…so I went to confession and asked the priest how I could forgive…he said I would forgive by doing the right thing and giving them all the same amount…
I suggest you take this to a priest who is a good confessor…we have been extremely blessed in our parish to have good confessors every since I have been there (2006)…I guess since they have been counseling people for over 2000 years they have heard EVERYTHING…I think this is an appropriate thing to take to confession…the fact that one is confused as to what to do…our priests are so busy at our parish that I personally just do not prefer to set up appointments with them except in an extreme circumstance such as when my nephew lost his life to suicide (I think the meds made him do it…long story)…but that is just my personal preference…
If you know a good confessor then you know where to go for great advice…if you are in an area where you do not have or do not know a good confessor, seek advice of parishioners near your parish who may know one…I have had to go to psychiatrists practically all of my life because mental illness runs in my family…but I have always found that the priests give better advice than anyone…and I always walk away with a burden lifted since my sins are forgiven by the grace of God…
I will keep you and your family in my prayers…I know this is a really tough one because I have a friend whose son is choosing an alternative lifestyle…it really tore his family up when he announced that this was his choice…she is Methodist and it is very hard on her family still even though his partner and he are not flamboyant…for example, we will have a vote in our state on the “marriage amendment” this month and I know she will take a yes vote for the amendment (to keep marriage between one man and one woman) as a repudiation of her son…I have tried to explain that people who vote for the amendment are not voting against her son they are voting FOR traditional marriage…I really think the amendment will pass so I have prepared her as best I can…this situation is unfortunately a tough one that many families find themselves in these days…but I am sure a good priest confessor can help you…
In Christ’s love…
I was so troubled because I was very sad last week over the lost of my beloved pet (I live alone) and so things that ordinarily might not bother me as much did so…also I had had no sleep…I wanted to give all 3 of my brother’s children the very same very generous amount that I gave the first one…that is what I am going to do whether I am invited to anything or not BECAUSE I was still struggling with forgiving her for what I perceived as a slight…so I went to confession and asked the priest how I could forgive…he said I would forgive by doing the right thing and giving them all the same amount…
I suggest you take this to a priest who is a good confessor…we have been extremely blessed in our parish to have good confessors every since I have been there (2006)…I guess since they have been counseling people for over 2000 years they have heard EVERYTHING…I think this is an appropriate thing to take to confession…the fact that one is confused as to what to do…our priests are so busy at our parish that I personally just do not prefer to set up appointments with them except in an extreme circumstance such as when my nephew lost his life to suicide (I think the meds made him do it…long story)…but that is just my personal preference…
If you know a good confessor then you know where to go for great advice…if you are in an area where you do not have or do not know a good confessor, seek advice of parishioners near your parish who may know one…I have had to go to psychiatrists practically all of my life because mental illness runs in my family…but I have always found that the priests give better advice than anyone…and I always walk away with a burden lifted since my sins are forgiven by the grace of God…
I will keep you and your family in my prayers…I know this is a really tough one because I have a friend whose son is choosing an alternative lifestyle…it really tore his family up when he announced that this was his choice…she is Methodist and it is very hard on her family still even though his partner and he are not flamboyant…for example, we will have a vote in our state on the “marriage amendment” this month and I know she will take a yes vote for the amendment (to keep marriage between one man and one woman) as a repudiation of her son…I have tried to explain that people who vote for the amendment are not voting against her son they are voting FOR traditional marriage…I really think the amendment will pass so I have prepared her as best I can…this situation is unfortunately a tough one that many families find themselves in these days…but I am sure a good priest confessor can help you…
In Christ’s love…
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