C
Cat
Guest
Have you been hurt by your church?
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
J
jrabs
Guest
Church does not hurt. People do.Have you been hurt by your church?
I am sorry if you have been hurt recently by someone. May God bring you healing.
B
b_justb
Guest
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and leaving that organization brought on a lot of emotional pain. If this is the type of thing you are referring to, then yes. There are several here on this forum that have experienced similar.
M
Meggie
Guest
Absolutely. I’ve been hurt by the dioceses I live in also.
However, I’ve been helped by my church were I used to live. And while the help changed my life for the positive, the hurt has driven me to near points of despair.
However, I’ve been helped by my church were I used to live. And while the help changed my life for the positive, the hurt has driven me to near points of despair.
C
cestusdei
Guest
Sure, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the Church. I accept the fact that some of her members will be flawed and sinful. The wheat and the tares grow together.
C
cheddarsox
Guest
I have been hurt by churches I have belonged to in the past. I think it is very difficult,if not impossible at times to discern the difference between being hurt by “people” but not by the “church”…since the people are what make the church.
It is one thing to be slighted by someone, another to experience repeat behavior that is condoned and supported by the group, and when it is brought up…to be shunned, chastised, etc for not playing along. Sometimes the people in authority…ministers, priests, church reps, are also involved in perpetuating wrongdoing, and it gets very murky about where individuals end and the “church” begins.
Over all, the church should be an institution, albeit of sinful individuals, that as a group strives to follow a higher calling and challenges it’s members and provides accountability. When it ceases to do that, and rather allows itself to become complicit, and to operate and perpetuate a sick and sinful community…then I think it is fair to say one has been hurt, not merely by an individual, but by the church.
Community should make us stronger in our fight toward wholeness.
Lately, I have heard many good people pile on excuses about why the Church…as a community…doesn’t do better. I am talking about people of faith, who give to charity, etc. etc, tell me all sorts of ridiculous reasons why we “can’t do better”.
I say hogwash. Jesus did not come to teach us that we are sinful and should just sit back and accept that sad truth about ourselves. He challenged us to take up our crosses and GO!
He said we will do things greater than what he accomplished!
I don’t recall him ever shrugging and saying…oh well. what can you expect of mere sinners. He expected a whole lot. He showed us how to create community where we can help each other be a whole lot more than mere sinners.
So, yes…I have been hurt by the church, when it ceases to be what it is meant to be and accepts the “victim sinner” stance.
Victory in Jesus!
cheddar (yes, I’m a pantheist…but Jesus was spot on)
It is one thing to be slighted by someone, another to experience repeat behavior that is condoned and supported by the group, and when it is brought up…to be shunned, chastised, etc for not playing along. Sometimes the people in authority…ministers, priests, church reps, are also involved in perpetuating wrongdoing, and it gets very murky about where individuals end and the “church” begins.
Over all, the church should be an institution, albeit of sinful individuals, that as a group strives to follow a higher calling and challenges it’s members and provides accountability. When it ceases to do that, and rather allows itself to become complicit, and to operate and perpetuate a sick and sinful community…then I think it is fair to say one has been hurt, not merely by an individual, but by the church.
Community should make us stronger in our fight toward wholeness.
Lately, I have heard many good people pile on excuses about why the Church…as a community…doesn’t do better. I am talking about people of faith, who give to charity, etc. etc, tell me all sorts of ridiculous reasons why we “can’t do better”.
I say hogwash. Jesus did not come to teach us that we are sinful and should just sit back and accept that sad truth about ourselves. He challenged us to take up our crosses and GO!
He said we will do things greater than what he accomplished!
I don’t recall him ever shrugging and saying…oh well. what can you expect of mere sinners. He expected a whole lot. He showed us how to create community where we can help each other be a whole lot more than mere sinners.
So, yes…I have been hurt by the church, when it ceases to be what it is meant to be and accepts the “victim sinner” stance.
Victory in Jesus!
cheddar (yes, I’m a pantheist…but Jesus was spot on)
T
Tantum_ergo
Guest
I agree with Jrabs: Churches don’t hurt, people in churches do.
While sometimes I have not had the best of experiences in a particular parish while in its church, I do not think ‘the church’ hurt me.
One time one of the slate shingles on the roof of a church I was attending blew off when I was coming out, but it missed me. I suppose if I had gotten hit, though, in that case it **would have ** been the the church itself that hurt me.
While sometimes I have not had the best of experiences in a particular parish while in its church, I do not think ‘the church’ hurt me.
One time one of the slate shingles on the roof of a church I was attending blew off when I was coming out, but it missed me. I suppose if I had gotten hit, though, in that case it **would have ** been the the church itself that hurt me.
M
mommyof4
Guest
Yes, there are some people in my church that have hurt me.
I have received much more healing in my church, much more love, much more forgiveness, so much, much more of God’s goodness in my church than I have hurt.
I’m just sorry for any hurt I have caused anyone.
I have received much more healing in my church, much more love, much more forgiveness, so much, much more of God’s goodness in my church than I have hurt.
I’m just sorry for any hurt I have caused anyone.
C
Cat
Guest
Let me make the question clearer.
Catholics and Protestants have a different understanding of “church.”
Catholics understand the Church as not only a group of people who believe in Jesus, but also as an established (by Christ) institution.
Protestants understand church as “the people who believe in Jesus.” Although some Protestant denoms have established institutions, most Protestants see an institutional church as man-made and not as something that Jesus Himself establshed.
Furthermore, I’m not talking about the little hurts that occur when a few thousand people all bump elbows year after year in “church.”
I’m talking about deep hurts, something that shook your faith and caused you great pain, possibly so much pain that you actually left the church.
The reason I’m posting this in the Non-Catholic Religions sections is that I know Protestants have often experienced this kind of hurt and they have the freedom to actually leave their churches.
Catholics may be hurt, too (sex scandal), but they can’t just walk away from “the Church.” (They can find another parish, perhaps.)
I would like to know WHY churches hurt people and WHAT should be done about it. I think it’s happening more and more in the last few years. I visit a Protestant forum where almost everyone has a tale of dreadful treatment by a church. Most of them ended up leaving their church. Many are just drifting around (hanging out on online forums for fellowship). They appear to be actually AFRAID to try “church” again.
And as this is a CATHOLIC forum, I would like to know what our response as Catholics should be to Protestants (and Catholics) who have been hurt by their church. I don’t think the response, “Just forgive and forget” is adequate.
Catholics and Protestants have a different understanding of “church.”
Catholics understand the Church as not only a group of people who believe in Jesus, but also as an established (by Christ) institution.
Protestants understand church as “the people who believe in Jesus.” Although some Protestant denoms have established institutions, most Protestants see an institutional church as man-made and not as something that Jesus Himself establshed.
Furthermore, I’m not talking about the little hurts that occur when a few thousand people all bump elbows year after year in “church.”
I’m talking about deep hurts, something that shook your faith and caused you great pain, possibly so much pain that you actually left the church.
The reason I’m posting this in the Non-Catholic Religions sections is that I know Protestants have often experienced this kind of hurt and they have the freedom to actually leave their churches.
Catholics may be hurt, too (sex scandal), but they can’t just walk away from “the Church.” (They can find another parish, perhaps.)
I would like to know WHY churches hurt people and WHAT should be done about it. I think it’s happening more and more in the last few years. I visit a Protestant forum where almost everyone has a tale of dreadful treatment by a church. Most of them ended up leaving their church. Many are just drifting around (hanging out on online forums for fellowship). They appear to be actually AFRAID to try “church” again.
And as this is a CATHOLIC forum, I would like to know what our response as Catholics should be to Protestants (and Catholics) who have been hurt by their church. I don’t think the response, “Just forgive and forget” is adequate.
M
Meggie
Guest
without exposing too much of myself
These, I believe, need to end
-priests who need the spotlight in which nobody else can step into. EG. If parishioners stop complimenting Fr and start telling him what a good job Joe is doing…sooner or later Joe is not allowed to do that vouleteer work anymore.
-priests who ignore family crisis’ when young children are “confessing” problems simply b/c the priest wants the parent to keep voulenteering.
-people of the church who gossip incessently even when asked to stop.
-the very rich parishioners who get their way, especally when its made obvious (such as the decision that all 1st communiats must wear suits or white dresses when the poorer part of the parish could obvously not afford it)
-people who are allowed to meddle becuase of the way the church is set up, eg full-time secretaries for parishes
-dioceses “investigations” when one adult in the diocese accuses youth groups of taking an adult child away from them, even though this youth group has no reputation of it
-dioceses using its power over clergy to demand confidential information about someone over 18
-dioceses being an very partial jury in family matters they have no business in
-dioceses frightening voulenteers/clergy into not speaking with a certian adult because parents are, in short, annoying
-diocese blunt demenor to listen to one or two parents (who may or may not be telling the truth) before dismissing a voulenteer
These, I believe, need to end
-priests who need the spotlight in which nobody else can step into. EG. If parishioners stop complimenting Fr and start telling him what a good job Joe is doing…sooner or later Joe is not allowed to do that vouleteer work anymore.
-priests who ignore family crisis’ when young children are “confessing” problems simply b/c the priest wants the parent to keep voulenteering.
-people of the church who gossip incessently even when asked to stop.
-the very rich parishioners who get their way, especally when its made obvious (such as the decision that all 1st communiats must wear suits or white dresses when the poorer part of the parish could obvously not afford it)
-people who are allowed to meddle becuase of the way the church is set up, eg full-time secretaries for parishes
-dioceses “investigations” when one adult in the diocese accuses youth groups of taking an adult child away from them, even though this youth group has no reputation of it
-dioceses using its power over clergy to demand confidential information about someone over 18
-dioceses being an very partial jury in family matters they have no business in
-dioceses frightening voulenteers/clergy into not speaking with a certian adult because parents are, in short, annoying
-diocese blunt demenor to listen to one or two parents (who may or may not be telling the truth) before dismissing a voulenteer
- Status
- Not open for further replies.