Husband and RCIA

[jmb100]

I have confirmation from my husband that he will go to RCIA. This has come about b/c our daughter will be receiving her sacraments of initiation this year. b/c we had her baptized in an episcopal church, she has to make a profession of faith before november 7th. i am ok w/ this, we just need to practice. as a result, i told my husband that our priest may ask whether or not we are both catholic. i am, but husband is not (he attends weekly w/ us and considers himself to be, but is not on paper).

here are my questions:

1. can he still begin classes, since i know in my parish they started in the beginning of sept
2. can he attend in a different parish (he does not like the priest who heads up our RCIA program)
3. do i, as his sponsor, attend the classes with him?

i know i should be asking our parish these questions, but i wanted to get some quick answers before i approach the priest running it. it is a large parish and he knows me by name. i dont want to ‘set’ anything up until i 100% sure it is going to happen.

thanks so much for your response.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have confirmation from my husband that he will go to RCIA. This has come about b/c our daughter will be receiving her sacraments of initiation this year. b/c we had her baptized in an episcopal church, she has to make a profession of faith before november 7th. i am ok w/ this, we just need to practice. as a result, i told my husband that our priest may ask whether or not we are both catholic. i am, but husband is not (he attends weekly w/ us and considers himself to be, but is not on paper).

here are my questions:

1. can he still begin classes, since i know in my parish they started in the beginning of sept
2. can he attend in a different parish (he does not like the priest who heads up our RCIA program)
3. do i, as his sponsor, attend the classes with him?

i know i should be asking our parish these questions, but i wanted to get some quick answers before i approach the priest running it. it is a large parish and he knows me by name. i dont want to ‘set’ anything up until i 100% sure it is going to happen.

thanks so much for your response.

1. Candidates should be able to join in at any point since this is supposed to be a year round process. Reception of Candidates into full union should take place several times a year.
2. Yes

What is the Nov. 7th date about?

 

[Karin]

here are my questions:

1. can he still begin classes, since i know in my parish they started in the beginning of sept

YES.

1. can he attend in a different parish (he does not like the priest who heads up our RCIA program)

YES

1. do i, as his sponsor, attend the classes with him?

Hmm…I really dont think that you can be his sponsor. I would check on this with the Priest.

 

[Karin]

Br. Rich SFO:

So a husband/wife can be a sponsor at RCIA to their own wife or husband??

 

[Seatuck]

Yes, you can be his sponsor. You may attend class or not attend. I don’t think the sponsor has to go to every class. You will want to check with what he is learning and discuss that with him . Being there makes that easier. You will also want to make sure they are teaching him the actual truth. Sad and frustrating as this is some RCIA’s don’t do that.

Of course you’ll find out the procedure in your particular diocese when you call to get the information. Some particulars vary from place to place.

God Bless you as you undertake this. What a joyous day it will be when your DH can recieve communion with you .

 

[kage_ar]

In my experience (My RCIA, DH RCIA years later in another Parish, and being involved with the RE program for a few years now…) - spouses are not permitted to be sponsors of each other. The spouse IS encouraged to attend and maybe sponsor someone else.

Congrats…

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Br. Rich SFO:

So a husband/wife can be a sponsor at RCIA to their own wife or husband??

Yes, The only prohibition in Canon Law is that a parent cannot be a Sponsor or Godparent for their own child.

assuming of course that they qualify under Canon Law, (at least 16, Confirmed, practicing Catholic in good standing with the Catholic Church, etc.)

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

In my experience (My RCIA, DH RCIA years later in another Parish, and being involved with the RE program for a few years now…) - spouses are not permitted to be sponsors of each other. The spouse IS encouraged to attend and maybe sponsor someone else.

Congrats…

There is no Church document (that I know of) that specifically states that a spouse cannot be a Sponsor for their spouse, as long as they qualify under Canon Law as a sponsor. And no Pastors and others cannot just make up their own rules.

 

[jmb100]

thank you for your responses and answers. i have been troubled about this for some time now and have praying very hard. it seems now that it is all coming to a head. he has some reservations about some catholic views which he does not hold. 2 main ones are: 1. a woman’s right to choose if she has been raped thru incest. 2. females in the priesthood.

because of his views on these 2 topics, he is concerned that he will be told that he can not join/and vice versa. this will then have a major affect on our family life b/c we attend mass everyweek as a family…*and * my husband participates fully. he knows that if he goes thru the program, he can not participate fully until confirmed. he would be ok with operating as we have been for the last several years but he knows that i want all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed, so he is willing to go thru with it…am i being selfish, should i just let him be?

by the way, he believes in the real presence, or shall we say he wants to believe.

so after all this blabbering, you can see, it is complicated.

thanks so much…

 

[Walking_Home]

thank you for your responses and answers. i have been troubled about this for some time now and have praying very hard. it seems now that it is all coming to a head. he has some reservations about some catholic views which he does not hold. 2 main ones are: 1. a woman’s right to choose if she has been raped thru incest. 2. females in the priesthood.

because of his views on these 2 topics, he is concerned that he will be told that he can not join/and vice versa. this will then have a major affect on our family life b/c we attend mass everyweek as a family…I]and my husband participates fully

. he knows that if he goes thru the program, he can not participate fully until confirmed. he would be ok with operating as we have been for the last several years but he knows that i want all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed, so he is willing to go thru with it…am i being selfish, should i just let him be?

by the way, he believes in the real presence, or shall we say he wants to believe.

so after all this blabbering, you can see, it is complicated.

thanks so much…​

By participating fully-----does this also include receiving Holy Communion.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

Hi jmb100
A couple of things I am lost about ( it is not unusual for me to be lost)

1. Was your husband baptized, and if so was it Catholic?
2. I do not believe your husband’s status as a Catholic will affect your daughter’s process given your post of him being supportive

Most RCIA programs are open guests are welcome, obviously if someone were to arrive slightly before the traditional Easter Vigil they would not be invited to participles in the ceremony. As for exactly the minimum amount as you have seen the Priest’s decision is typically upheld. If your husband pursues Catholic teachings with a good teacher he may learn the base under the teaching and accept it. Also it is not a good idea for spouse to be sponsors, during many learning and growing exercises which are done to benefit the candidates they just do not work well with family members in fact many people clam up when family members are in the room. All to often paired spouses blow off exercises and later fighting about what one spouse said or how they said it.

Hope that helps

 

[jmcrae]

Br. Rich SFO:

So a husband/wife can be a sponsor at RCIA to their own wife or husband??

As I understand it, you can’t be married to someone who has a parental role in your life, such as your Confirmation sponsor or your god-mother/god-father.

In our RCIA, we encourage people to have sponsors of the same sex and similar age as themselves, if possible.

 

[jmb100]

ok, well, if we go thru with this, then i will get the info from the rcia priest. i do hope i can be his sponsor…i just dont know who else it could be, possibly my brother in law but he lives over an hour away. i know of may fiance’s that go thru rcia and are each other’s sponsors.

in any event, to answer texas roofer, husband is baptized in a protestant faith, but considered valid since it was done in the name of the holy trinity. because of his protestant backround, that will not affect my daughter’s sacraments. i am a catholic in good standing and fulfilling my promise to raise her catholic prior to our wedding vows. she does have to make a profession of faith before she makes first reconcilliation. i am told by the RE director that i need to read the creed with her several times, explain it to her and then she will then go over it with our priest.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

typically the RCIA team will help, find, or produce a sponsor for your husband. I wish you all well it sounds as though your on track - good luck

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

As I understand it, you can’t be married to someone who has a parental role in your life, such as your Confirmation sponsor or your god-mother/god-father.

In our RCIA, we encourage people to have sponsors of the same sex and similar age as themselves, if possible.

Here are the specific canons:

Chapter IV : SPONSORS

Can. 872 In so far as possible, a person being baptised is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor’s role is to assist the person in christian initiation.
In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a christian life befitting the baptised and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in baptism.

Can. 873 One sponsor, male or female, is sufficient; but there may be two, one of each sex.

Can. 874~1 To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:

1° be appointed by the candidate for baptism, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, or failing these, by the parish priest or the minister; to be appointed the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it;

2° be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made;

3° be a catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;

4° not labour under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;

5° not be either the father or the mother of the person to be baptised.

~2 A baptised person who belongs to a non-catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism.

For Confirmation:

Chapter IV : SPONSORS

Can. 892 As far as possible the person to be confirmed is to have a sponsor. The
sponsor’s function is to take care that the person confirmed behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfils the duties inherent in this sacrament.

Can. 893~1 A person who would undertake the office of sponsor must fulfil the conditions mentioned in can. 874.
~2 It is desirable that the sponsor chosen be the one who undertook this role at baptism.

Concerning 874 #5

This includes Step-parents and adoptive parents, it does NOT exclude Grandparents.

 

[jmcrae]

It’s in the marriage canons that it says that you can’t be married to your god parent/Confirmation sponsor. I don’t know the number of the canon, though.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

Here are the specific canons:

Chapter IV : SPONSORS

Can. 872 In so far as possible, a person being baptised is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor’s role is to assist the person in christian initiation.
In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a christian life befitting the baptised and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in baptism.

Can. 873 One sponsor, male or female, is sufficient; but there may be two, one of each sex.

Can. 874~1 To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:

1° be appointed by the candidate for baptism, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, or failing these, by the parish priest or the minister; to be appointed the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it;

2° be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made;

3° be a catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;

4° not labour under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;

5° not be either the father or the mother of the person to be baptised.

~2 A baptised person who belongs to a non-catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism.

For Confirmation:

Chapter IV : SPONSORS

Can. 892 As far as possible the person to be confirmed is to have a sponsor. The
sponsor’s function is to take care that the person confirmed behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfils the duties inherent in this sacrament.

Can. 893~1 A person who would undertake the office of sponsor must fulfil the conditions mentioned in can. 874.
~2 It is desirable that the sponsor chosen be the one who undertook this role at baptism.

Concerning 874 #5

This includes Step-parents and adoptive parents, it does NOT exclude Grandparents.

Even though the word is Sponsor because of the overall reading combined with the absence of the word “Godparent” I thought this to be standards for the Godparent?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

It’s in the marriage canons that it says that you can’t be married to your god parent/Confirmation sponsor. I don’t know the number of the canon, though.

The word “Sponsor” or “Godparent” never shows up in any of the canons on Marriage the last time I looked at them.

 

[LeahInancsi]

There is no Church document (that I know of) that specifically states that a spouse cannot be a Sponsor for their spouse, as long as they qualify under Canon Law as a sponsor. And no Pastors and others cannot just make up their own rules.

A spouse sponsoring a spouse happens all the time.

It’s not a problem.

Also, the sponsor SHOULD attend class with the candidate. It’s beneficial to the sponsor.

 

[EBSSTF4]

I I regret not being my wife’s sponsor. I would strongly recommend attending as many of the classes as possible. If you are proficient in your faith you can be very helpful. Often my wife would come home with questions I had a hard time answering since I did not understand what she was referring to. There were also things I would like to have corrected in her group discussions. It is much harder to straighten things out after the fact.