Husband doesn't want anything to do with our children

[Legend]

Neither you, nor your sons, need this man. Or his ‘friends’’…why are people, living a thousand miles away, in an area in which you were never comfortable, NOW calling for saint-like behavior on your part? Where were they when you were going thru difficulties in your marriage, and home life? You owe them nothing! Don’t be afraid to tell them so, next time they try to contact you!

What you really need is a good lawyer! And a good annulment advocate! Tell them everything you’ve said here, then let them take over. Stop sending your husband pictures of the Kids. If he wanted any contact, he would have shown it while you were together.

May it be over soon. God Bless you and your children during this difficult time!!!

 

[Jen95]

Also, if you feel that you cannot afford a lawyer, please at least call some legal aid agencies in your area, who can advise you.

 

[Legend]

I can’t see how these people have the nerve to tell the OP how to behave. Especially after after she’s moved away! If they know so much about how a marriage should be, why didn’t they try and help her while she was living in their area?

I am sooo tired of people citing saintly behavior-using, for abused women in particular, St. Rita and St. Monica? I don’t know that much about St. Rita, but St. Monica lived in a time, and a place, where women were largely considered property! It was very difficult for an abused woman of her time to separate from her husband…as little more than a slave, she was, literally, owned by her husband, and he could legally stop her from leaving him. If she somehow did manage to get away, he could keep her from seeing her minor children, as they were his property, too.

So, Saint Monica was a remarkable, holy woman, who did the best she could-for the times in which she lived! We now live in a better time for abused spouses. Yes, the OP could emulate Monica by doing the best for herself and her children…not by trying to return to the dark ages, but by doing the best, in today’s world. That includes seeing a lawyer to protect her legal rights, and those of her children. Imagine the role model her husband would be, teaching his sons that it’s all right to abuse women…if he started acknowledging them at all. The OP says he barely seemed to notice their existence!

People should be very, very careful when citing the behaviors of certain saints. Always keep things in context!

I hope you understand what I’ve been trying to say…it’s late, I’m tired, but I couldn’t just let this pass without saying what I think. OP, you were right to leave. Don’t be intimidated by those who tell lies, half-truths, and biased opinions as to what the church says you must do. No one is ever required to remain with an abusive spouse. I don’t see any signs of your husband trying to change, so, keep yourself , and your sons, physically, emotionally, financially, and legally safe! Give your sons one good parent…trust me, that’s more than many children get!

God Bless you and your sons!!! May you all stay strong in these difficult times!