Husband, Father, but feel called to "walk"

[JRKH]

Seek spiritual direction on the matter, Samson01. Your parish priest would be the place to start. A spiritual director/parish priest will get to know you as a person (or may do so already) as well as the problems you face. On Catholic discussion sites, you will probably get a diversity of opinions, which may confuse. It just may be that the more opinions you receive, the more the confusion, rather than clarification based on sound advice.

Marriage is holy and a sacrament and a serious matter as I am sure you are aware.

 

[Samson01]

God’s only will for you is for you to become a saint and reach heaven with the time, the place and your state in life. You are a father? Then the Lord is calling you to be the best father you can possibly be. As a father God has entrusted the eternal beings you call children to your care. Your vocation is to help them reach heaven. You are a husband? Then the Lord is calling you to be the best husband you can possibly be, and help your spouse reach heaven. But the big adventure in life is to allow God to weave holiness out of our wretched lives. In order to enter heaven we must be purified. Here is a video you may find helpful:
youtube.com/watch?v=KXLUwoiqjmk

Kind of intersting in that when I said I almost died in 2003, it was an understatement. Things didn’t go so well with the experience. I never would have thought I would be a nine year survivor of cancer. I fought like hell to be with my family, to stay alive. This is a complex issue with me as I feel that I shouild always be prepared or even preemptive in my family’s security. Sometimes I feel I’ve done all I can. My wife prayed the rosary with me the other night…one of the few times ever. If she would take my lead, I would be happy to do so. Samson

 

[Cloisters]

Somewhat. My family life hasn’t been the norm. In 2003 I almost died from stage III cancer and had to prepare everyone to continue on without me, esp. my oldest. Everything I owned, I put into their names to protect assests from legality’s. I own nothing anymore. I made sure my family was set and my wife has a good job with the Fed. govn’t. She has since become caustic towards me. I’ve begged the Lord to turn it around, but He has not. Maybe my “extra” time isn’t supposed to be in this situation. Samson

A situation like this is similar to military spouses watching the “living dead” go to war. She has grieved your “death” and then you lived.

“Be the bigger man”. Be a father to your children. Depending on the wife’s age, she may also be going through menopause which will deep-six any affection for you.

Pray the Lord will open a door and spend time with your kids. Perhaps they will bring her around with their simple questions.

The fact that you “own nothing” may also be affecting her.

HTH

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[Samson01]

A situation like this is similar to military spouses watching the “living dead” go to war. She has grieved your “death” and then you lived.

“Be the bigger man”. Be a father to your children. Depending on the wife’s age, she may also be going through menopause which will deep-six any affection for you.

Pray the Lord will open a door and spend time with your kids. Perhaps they will bring her around with their simple questions.

The fact that you “own nothing” may also be affecting her.

HTH

Blessings,
Cloisters

Thanks…a lot of truth to this. She can not even talk about cancer to this day, at all. As for the other things, I have considered both of them. Tim

 

[Bix]

Kind of intersting in that when I said I almost died in 2003, it was an understatement. Things didn’t go so well with the experience. I never would have thought I would be a nine year survivor of cancer. I fought like hell to be with my family, to stay alive. This is a complex issue with me as I feel that I shouild always be prepared or even preemptive in my family’s security. Sometimes I feel I’ve done all I can. My wife prayed the rosary with me the other night…one of the few times ever. If she would take my lead, I would be happy to do so. Samson

my two cents-
The two of you have been through hell and back dealing with illness, preparing each other for a horrific loss as well as preparing and taking care of your children. She was with you through this time and probably suffered more than you know. Your family was blessed by God allowing you more time with them. Maybe, your wife is still scared of losing you. She may need you to take the lead. . . I don’t mean that you aren’t doing enough, but perhaps she needs your strength now.

Sometimes we suffer such loss and heartache that we put up walls to distance ourselves for fear of going through the turmoil and heartache again. Sometimes, the hardest part of surviving is living again.

Maybe walk away from the dark places your family has been through and tuck them away as you walk into the second chance of life and love your Father has given you and your family.

Many prayers for you and your family.
God Bless~

 

[Samson01]

my two cents-
The two of you have been through hell and back dealing with illness, preparing each other for a horrific loss as well as preparing and taking care of your children. She was with you through this time and probably suffered more than you know. Your family was blessed by God allowing you more time with them. Maybe, your wife is still scared of losing you. She may need you to take the lead. . . I don’t mean that you aren’t doing enough, but perhaps she needs your strength now.

Sometimes we suffer such loss and heartache that we put up walls to distance ourselves for fear of going through the turmoil and heartache again. Sometimes, the hardest part of surviving is living again.

Maybe walk away from the dark places your family has been through and tuck them away as you walk into the second chance of life and love your Father has given you and your family.

Many prayers for you and your family.
God Bless~

Yes, we need good memories to replace the bad ones. I will never forget the howl that came from her when I told her of the cancer. It was inhuman almost. I have never heard anything like it. It is difficult to counter. I’m going on nine years now and it has been difficult to come back from. The Church has been a constant that probably has been more active in keeping us together more than we know. After all the prayers of healing during my sickness, she was there as a witness to my own conversion experience in 2005. There is no mistake or fate about it. She was there for a reason. It is trusting again that is hard. Thanks, Tim

 

[Samson01]

We went to my sons confirmation Liturgy this past Saturday and the Bishop gave a homily about how it was no mistake we were there. It really drove home some things. One of the co-celebrants was our former pastor, who just fought throat cancer. We keep in touch about things, but he was moved as well by the homily. It is no longer a question of vocation to me, but one of preseverance. Tim

 

[Deltadeliquent]

I saw this thread when I searched for something else and it caught my eye. I know it is old.

I wonder how things are now?
When I first read the title I thought you literally wanted to walk. I have read of people who leave their old lives and simply walk, like physically. Forest Gump style. Which is something that I have often thought about.

Google Pligrim George.

Having gone through so much maybe a time apart is needed. Perhaps take up a project like walking to all the churches in your county, or whatever. You could have your children andor wife walk with you sometimes. Sort of a pilgrimage. Maybe time alone like this would be good for all of you.

Just a thought.

 

[trevor1055]

Old post, but it was on the left side of the screen, so here we go. I hope that you are not thinking about walking out on your family. I read the posts, but something seems not right. My wife left me for another man after she had multiple affairs, and I can tell you, walking on your family is never the answer. I hope my take on this is wrong. I am praying for you.