husband filed

[mdleagedguy]

Yes, there are guys out there like that. I have eight kids, my wife stays home with the kids, and I work my butt off to support them. I am proud of that. My wife became Catholic after about 12 years of marriage.

I have to say, men today are fearful and selfish. They do not seek true manhood. A real man should be able to support his family, defend them physically if necessary, cook, and change diapers as needed. I can change a diaper, cook a mean pasta with peanut sauce from scratch. That includes making the pasta from scratch. I can also fire a tight group with a rifle or a pistol. They are not contradictory.

It’s not manly to have multiple women curse your name with every late child support payment, and have many women for one, or a few nights who dread having children with you. It’s manly to have one woman give thanks for every paycheck you earn, who is willing to give you every night for a lifetime, and children as often as God wills. That’s manly, not the wimpy girly-men who pass for “men” today. They lack intestinal fortitude if they are afraid of God and small children.

After your annulment goes through (I’m sure it will, given what you’ve posted), look for Catholic military, or ex-military guys, or look for a strong young adult group where you live.

 

[Bill_7154]

My husband filed for divorce on our 2 year anniversary. I’m in shock but coming to terms with it. I hope our son will be ok, as I don’t like to think about him in a split family.

My question is this, are there still men in the world who respect women’s role as wife and mother? Are there men that want lots of children, and want to be financial providers (main providers) for their families, while the women does the child-rearing (traditional?)

I’m not writing this to seek attention from men. I just never have seen this and wondered if men, including Catholic men, are all modernized now and want the woman to work/be on the pill/have 1-2 kids/etc. like my soon-to-be ex.

Thanks in advance.
Lily

Lily,
I think everyone is different. I, myself, as a man would ideally like to be a stay at home dad. I think that would be the best job in the world, to be able to spend every day with my 10 month old, watching his little day by day milestones and providing him with love and guidance, etc.

But I can not do that. Nor can I provide for my family financially without help. I grew up rough and it impacts my ability to earn enough money to have my wife stay home, but if I could I would certainly be more than willing to do that as I think having a parent raise one’s kids is better than having a babysitter do so. But neither of these options are in the cards for me.

But as I said all men are different and want different things. I’m pretty sure that men who earn enough money to support a wife and kids, that plenty of them are either OK with, or prefer for their wife to stay home. If I grew up different and had a high paying job I would certainly want my wife to not work and just be with our child (unless she had a strong desire to work herself- I think this should be sorted out though before people are married and have kids) rather than a baby sitter who can never replace the love and care of the mother of one’s children.

I’m amazed you seem so calm given that your life is in such turmoil. I hope the best for you. We all have our struggles in life. God and Jesus are there for us, as our friends if we have them, for support.

God Bless,
Bill

 

[bumby]

I’m so sorry for your situation - how dreadful. Did you see this coming?

There are “nice guys” out there but to be honest like a PP said, that idealised view of marriage is reality for very few people. My husband works hard, helps around the house, does his fair share of housework and is affectionate. But he has no interest in the physical side of our relationship. Guess you can’t have it all. And I also work full time and we have two children (1 and 3) in nursery full time while I work, four days a week.

Correct me if I’m wrong but you can only pursue an annulment if there was no marriage contract in the first place. If it was a valid marriage it is impossible, especially as yours was consummated. Please God your husband sees sense and you can work through this.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Praying for you.