Husband finds church boring

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elibrownt627

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I read through a few threads where one spouse was wondering how to get the other spouse to go to church. My husband finds church extremely boring and therefore dosen’t go to church. This would not be an issue if he were spiritual at all. He believes in God, but doesn’t pray or read his Bible. Let me also state that his is not Catholic, but was raised Baptist.

I have known this since we were dating, but I have felt a pull on my heart more in the last couple of months to try to get him to be closer to God. I would like him to attend church with me as I believe it would bring us closer, but that is not a necessity right now. And, even though there are multiple reasons why I do not want to convert to another Christian faith, the one that is most prominent in my mind is children. We currently do not have any children, but are planning to in the future. We have discussed their schooling extensively and both agree that Catholic schools are the direction we want for our future children.

Has anyone ever had the same experience? How can I motivate my husband to want to attend church, either a protestant denomination (sp?) of his chosing or with me at Catholic Mass?
 
You know what, sometimes I find church boring too. Thank God the importance of the mass is not based on my fickle feelings. The mass is perhaps the most extraordinary thing that can happen on this earth, where Jesus truly becomes sacramentally present for us in the Eucharist. Sometimes I am lagging early on in the mass, not enjoying the songs, distracted by an interested coat a woman 3 rows up is wearing. But then…the consecration. It is rare that my eyes do not tear up. When we sing holy holy holy we are truly joining the choir in heaven. Bored? No way. Besides, if he is bored by mass he will really not enjoy heaven at all 🙂
The more your husband learns about the awesomeness of mass, the more it will become meaningful to him. A good read, the Lamb’s Supper by Scott Hahn.
 
Ask him what he would tell one of your future children if one of them whined, “I’m not going to school anymore because it’s BORING!”
Or if they complained, as they got older, “I’m not eating healthy food anymore because it’s BORING!”
Or if they insisted, “I’m not going to do any exercise because it’s BORING!”
“I don’t want to do chores because they’re BORING!”
“I don’t want to go to work because it’s BORING!”
… and so on 🙂

Must we always be entertained in everything?
As the Nirvana song says, Here we are now - ENTERTAIN US!
 
I’m in a similar boat, my wife finds mass boring. So I go by myself often. One thing you can try is to say that this is important to you, and he should make an effort to be supportive of his wife.

I would also suggest a Scott Hahn book, The Lamb’s Supper. I was raised baptist and this book really hit home with me.

The other avenue I would suggest is to remind him that he is no longer 17 and he should be able to pay attention to “grown folks” stuff for an hour a week. Some of the greatest minds of all tim/e found mass fascinating, now that he is an adult, maybe he could take a second look at church with an adult perspective and challenge himself.

As another poster mentioned, we’ve become a society tbhat demands constant entertainment at all times or we’re “bored”. This is a sign of immaturity.
 
Let me start off by saying that a good 9 times out of ten I am bored as crazy at church. But, we aren’t there to be entertained. I usually try to focus on something else spiritual when I start zoning out. LOL. Of course, it doesn’t help that we have a priest whose english is very poor and monotonous so I can’t understand what he is saying during the homily. I always pray during the homilies for God to open my ears to give me the revelation I am intended to get.

Anyway. 😛

My husband was very lax when we first met. He didn’t know very much about his faith and while he attended church every week, he never really got anything out of it. He admitted to falling asleep very frequently. Then he met me and knew he had to marry a catholic woman so he tried to convert me with what little he knew. Well, I studied church history and converted. When I went through RCIA he went with me to make sure I did it, and he learned as much as I did. We grew in faith together during this time.

I seriously suggest taking a religious ed class together. It’s great to learn and bond together!
 
Your husband doesn’t think that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was done done for our entertainment, does he? He was raised as a Baptist and believes in God; does he really think think that we worship God so that we can avoid boredom? I am sort of guessing if he thought about this for even a few minutes he might have some other ideas. Perhaps you can invite him to adoration.
 
Darn, someone always beats me too it. I was going to say “well what if church is boring?”. For some reason a memory of the time I almost became a Mormon for the Ultimate Frisbee just came to mind.
 
I wish we could put all the letters from spouses who married others who were immature in their faith and then lamented later that they didn’t have this partnership. (Yeah, I’d be on that list too. It helped end my marriage… his lack of faith.)

We could use it for the next poster who came on and asked “My fiance isn’t Catholic. Why shouldn’t I marry him anyway?”

I personally wonder how God puts up with us. The Intellect that created the Universe must find us way more boring than we could ever find HIM.

(I think it takes a lot of gall to say going and talking to God is boring to us. If our attempting to communicate with God can’t interest our puny minds, why should we think HE would listen…)
 
When adults don’t fulfill their obligations because they are “boring” I find that attitude often carries into other areas and relationships. It’s a “what’s in it for me” kind of attitude. Rather than care to set an example or do something they’re supposed to just because they’re supposed to, they hinge all their actions on what the personal reward is for them. No reward, no action. I suspect like my own marriage, this relationship will or is suffering from such an outlook in other areas also. The OP has my deepest sympathy. Been there, done that.

😦

Be really careful before you breed with this man. Make sure he grows up first.
 
Men are strange beasts. So many of us somehow find the subject of God boring, but spends hours per week obsessing over the relative abilities of one group of men to be able to move a funny shaped ball down a grassy field in spite of the opposition of an equal group of men… Really, how STUPID is that!?!

The reason this occurs is because sports appeal to the basic function of the male mind. We set a goal, then get to work finding ways to overcome the obstacles to reaching it. Ideal if those obstacles are BOTH physical AND mental.

If a man’s ONLY spiritual involvement is going to mass, he is going to dread it. There is no goal to reach or obstacle to overcome. The problem is that mass was never intended to be the only portion of our spiritual life. We’re supposed to be living the gospel in the world and going to mass to receive the Grace we need to do that. Mass without anything else is like the “liturgy” of military parades and medal ceremonies without any training or missions. It is emptied of its context and becomes boring.
 
rick43235 said:
Oh yeah…If he finds mass boring, I’m sure he’ll get excited about adoration. :rolleyes:
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The thing is that there will be no expectation that adoration be entertaining. I think adoration is the closest thing we have to being face to face with God, and it is a real opportunity for us to seriously worship our saviour and reset our flawed perspectives.
 
Church is boring but you don’t want to go to hell over some piddling thing like missing mass on Sunday. I mean it is only an hour of your time at the most, and 45 min if you find a good priest. It may not be entertaining but it will give you some quiet time to read the bible, pray, and focus on God.
 
I think the more you learn about your faith, scripture, and the purpose of each part of the mass, the more interesting it will be. That’s what I’ve experienced.
 
Mass is never boring for me these days… but that’s probably because I’ve got two little ones trying to crawl all over the pews and walk down the aisles!

No seriously, I think it’s natural to be a little bored at Mass sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely a guy who not only appreciates God being truly there, but also appreciates the universality of form. I think that makes the Church unique in a way; in what other faith could you go to a church in another country and another language and know exactly what is going on? It was even more amazing back in the days of the Latin rite I’m sure.

But yeah, the familiarity of everything can get monotonous from week to week. That’s natural. But it’s our job to snap ourselves out of that feeling of monotony and get excited about God’s true presence in front of us. In the OP’s case, her husband not being Catholic makes that a bit harder. I’d suggest appealing to a sense of duty to God, if he has a strong sense of that, or at least a strong sense of loyalty to her if she explains that his coming to mass would mean the world to her. You can learn a lot by osmosis. Just ask my father who came to mass every Sunday with his Catholic wife and kids for 20 years… before finally “breaking down” and converting from Judaism. And now, I’m my own dad’s godfather!
 
If he’d listen theres a great cd named The Mass Explained from Lighthouse Catholic media.
 
zz912 said:
I would also suggest a Scott Hahn book, The Lamb’s Supper. I was raised baptist and this book really hit home with me.
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I want you to go on…
Please share how this book hit home with you. I too have read it, as a convert, and love it!

I have some dear dear friends who think my Church is “BORING,” they love Christ, and are committed Christians, but they also don’t go to Church, because they haven’t found the perfect Church. Of course, they won’t consider the Catholic Church in their quest to find th perfect Church, and are okay with watching Church on tv, or having Church at home.

I would like you to share more. Thanks.
 
Get ahold of Fr Stan Fortuna’s video on the Mass.

Once you know what Mass IS, it is never boring.
 
graceandglory said:
I want you to go on…
Please share how this book hit home with you. I too have read it, as a convert, and love it!

I have some dear dear friends who think my Church is “BORING,” they love Christ, and are committed Christians, but they also don’t go to Church, because they haven’t found the perfect Church. Of course, they won’t consider the Catholic Church in their quest to find th perfect Church, and are okay with watching Church on tv, or having Church at home.

I would like you to share more. Thanks.
Click to expand...
It was really a combination of many factors that did it. The energy, enthusiasm in the writing, his background of being Protestant and skeptical of Catholicism, his conversational style of writing, and the dozens of ways of explaining the depth and breadth of the Mass and what was going on.

He went over what happened, but also WHY. And the basis for it as well.
 
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