Husband has approached me about NFP

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Alliegirl24

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My husband and I have been married for almost 7 months. He is a very loving and kind man. One day he out of the blue was like I think we might out o try NFP for holding off on babies right now. I was shocked he has never brought this up to me as he has never had a problem with me wing on the pill or condoms. We have done both all before we said I do. I stopped the pill after I was having complication with it. And then we. We’re using condoms and he said he didn’t like them. Said it didn’t feel right or natural. He loves me to death and yes he was raised in a Catholic Church but when his parents divorced he attended a baptist church. I was raised in a Christian church so all this was different for me.at this point in time I have been fighting with my own faith trying to find where I belong. So when he said after we get married he wanted to do NFP I was shocked because he had never brough it up to me further more he started and has continued to read his bible normally a great thing this man hasn’t picked up a bible in 13 years. I’m not scared to try NFP because I do know about it more so I am shocked that he wants to its utalize it. He ha even come to me saying he thinking of going back to a Catholic Church. And I’m just plum over whelmed
 
My husband was an atheist when we met, and searching when we married. I was a Protestant. I was on the pill. Gradually, it became clear he was going to become Catholic. It was a shock, in a way. And it brought up a number of issues, including birth control. He never asked me to use NFP. I was convinced by reading Rome Sweet Home (Scott and Kimberly Hahn). I don’t know if he would have asked me eventually, but it became a moot point as I converted as well.

It’s really hard to deal with change in someone close to us. Even more so when that person is our spouse. But God is doing good work in his heart and your marriage will be blessed by that, no matter what other decisions you make as a couple.

I will pray for you!
 
Alliegirl24 said:
. He ha even come to me saying he thinking of going back to a Catholic Church. And I’m just plum over whelmed
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I bet. On the other hand, I was a Protestant and converted and it was overwhelming in the best possible way.

If you are going to practice NFP, you really must take a class, hopefully with your husband. Your local Catholic Parish should be able to point you toward one. BTW, if he returns to the Church and you do not accompany him - you’ll need to have your marriage blessed, anyway. It’s a nice thing. But our Church is a nice thing. Hope to start seeing you at Mass.
 
Perhaps your husband is going through the same conversion experience that I went through when I returned to the faith from after being a long time fallen away Catholic.

I didn’t really know what it meant to have a personal relationship with God. I was in an immoral relationship with a woman and I didn’t know or really care much about Church teaching. When God finally spoke to me and touched my heart, my life completely changed. All the sudden I completely craved theology and to be close to God by learning the Truth that His Church teaches. I knew that the immoral acts I was committing were wrong but more then that, I finally learned what it meant to love and what it felt like to consciously reject the One that I loved. I learned that love isn’t really affection, romance, or sentamentalism. Love is actually the full giving of yourself to somebody else or God. If you hold anything back, even the smallest little thing, then that is no longer love (it’s all or nothing!)

This may be one reason why your husband is having issues with contraception. Obviously the big one is how displeasing contraception is to God but, perhaps your hubby also now has a new understanding of love that he wants to share not only in his relationship with God but with you as well. He knows that his love for you is the full giving of himself and his heart now aches when he can’t give himself to you 100%. This is what’s wrong with the condom… it is by it’s very nature contrary to the 100% full giving of oneself. How can your husband give himself to you with his whole heart and complete abandon while he is holding back his most precious gift in the marital act?

My prayers are with you two. God bless! 🙂
 
Thank you all for the support and kindness as well as advice we have talked about it and on many occasions he has said it just isn’t natural in a marriage to not be able to give to eachother fully after all we made a commitment to god and to eachother. So there shouldn’t be any reason why we can’t give to eachother fully. But I was raised different then that I am not a catholic so all this is new to me. But I am willing to take the steps and honor my husband and god. I’m just nervous
 
Alliegirl24 said:
Thank you all for the support and kindness as well as advice we have talked about it and on many occasions he has said it just isn’t natural in a marriage to not be able to give to eachother fully after all we made a commitment to god and to eachother. So there shouldn’t be any reason why we can’t give to eachother fully. But I was raised different then that I am not a catholic so all this is new to me. But I am willing to take the steps and honor my husband and god. I’m just nervous
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You sound like a wonderful wife! It has to be confusing and scary if you’ve never been exposed to this way of thinking before - I understand your nervousness.
But really - don’t fear! This is a WONDERFUL thing that your husband is regaining interest in his faith. You and your marriage will be blessed through this “reversion” of sorts back to his faith. Ask God to guide you as you pray together, ask for the PEACE to truly trust that it’s indeed GOD that is leading you both back to Him. Be at peace. Trust your husband and let him guide you.
You’ll be in my prayers. 🙂

By the way - from personal experience with NFP - I have to say that brings the most EMPOWERING sense of fully understanding my body… and I’m very thankful that my faith has guided me to this beautiful option. It’s a GIFT!!!
God bless you both! 🙂
 
I know most protestants see catholic views about contraception being wrong as kind f weird. What most don’t know is that ALL christian faiths, including the protestants, considered contraception to be immoral for 1,900 years. It’s only in the last 80-90 years that the ‘weird and new’ idea of contraception being a morally neutral has been proposed in many christian circles. So ask yourself this: is it REALLY likely that christians held an erroneous belief for 1,900 years and only saw the truth concurrently with living in a society saturated with debased sexuality and sexual exploitation? Or is it more likely that when christian society declined and believers became the minority that they were influenced by secular notions on the nature of human sexuality and became vulnerable to rationalizations proposed by the larger culture?

In other words, did the change really come from the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of the Age? Worth looking into, no? Try this: catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0002.html
 
Em_in_FL said:
You sound like a wonderful wife! It has to be confusing and scary if you’ve never been exposed to this way of thinking before - I understand your nervousness.
But really - don’t fear! This is a WONDERFUL thing that your husband is regaining interest in his faith. You and your marriage will be blessed through this “reversion” of sorts back to his faith. Ask God to guide you as you pray together, ask for the PEACE to truly trust that it’s indeed GOD that is leading you both back to Him. Be at peace. Trust your husband and let him guide you.
You’ll be in my prayers. 🙂

By the way - from personal experience with NFP - I have to say that brings the most EMPOWERING sense of fully understanding my body… and I’m very thankful that my faith has guided me to this beautiful option. It’s a GIFT!!!
God bless you both! 🙂
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thank you so much and yes …i am praying nightly about our journey together. and hoping and praying god leads us in the right direction.to be honest even in my own faith i didnt like birth control. but my mother forced me on it when i was 18 because she assumed i was sexual active because i had been dating a guy for a year. but i wasn’t i wanted to wait till marriage to become sexually active.i was on birth control for a year and couple months.then after i married we used condoms no i didn’t wait to have sex till marriage and that is my own fault for giving into sin and i realize that. but i did marry the guy that i lost my virginity too.and it certainly was not a speedy decision.i don’t like condoms either mainly because well i am allergic to latex go figure…so i started looking into other alternatives but then got to thinking about my own body.and we tried NFP one cycle and of course it worked i was terified but it worked… and i know that will fade as time goes on and hey if for some reason i miss calculate and we end up with a blessing then so be it. i love kids.
 
Alliegirl24 said:
thank you so much and yes …i am praying nightly about our journey together. and hoping and praying god leads us in the right direction.to be honest even in my own faith i didnt like birth control. but my mother forced me on it when i was 18 because she assumed i was sexual active because i had been dating a guy for a year. but i wasn’t i wanted to wait till marriage to become sexually active.i was on birth control for a year and couple months.then after i married we used condoms no i didn’t wait to have sex till marriage and that is my own fault for giving into sin and i realize that. but i did marry the guy that i lost my virginity too.and it certainly was not a speedy decision.i don’t like condoms either mainly because well i am allergic to latex go figure…so i started looking into other alternatives but then got to thinking about my own body.and we tried NFP one cycle and of course it worked i was terified but it worked… and i know that will fade as time goes on and hey if for some reason i miss calculate and we end up with a blessing then so be it. i love kids.
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You know, you’d make one heck of a Catholic! (Just sayin… 😃 )
 
This is so sweet! You pray for your husband, his faith grows, he leads you towards the faith he receives as a result of your prayers for him, you attempt to follow even if you can’t completely understand. What would happen if more married couples followed this example? Absolutely beautiful.

If God does bless you with a baby right now, you already have established a strong base to build your family upon. And you also have 9 months to do any planning that needs to be done. Babies are not born overnight. You have plenty of time to prepare for the miracle God is sending your way.
 
The best advice I can give you is to Pray Together as a couple. This is powerful.
 
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