Husband has fallen out of love with me

[styrgwillidar]

My husband recently told me that he’s not in love with me anymore. He doesn’t know if he will ever get these feelings back. There is no one else. He says that we have been growing apart for for years. I just thought we were comfortable together. I never thought we would stop being us.
We have seen our Priest. I am working on the issues that were brought to my attention. I explained that I need him to communicate better.
Has anyone ever encountered this and regained the lost feelings? I can’t take this pain. It’s the most unbearable feeling of loss.
Thank you for any help.

Sorry for you what you are going through.It is possible that he is depressed. I went through something similar, after about 16 yrs of marriage my wife said the same thing- had just lost her feelings for me and didn’t love me as a husband. Felt like I was the only person she could tell anything/everything to- but more friend/brother than spouse. I’ve always seen love as a choice that I can control vice a feeling that I can’t, that will naturally vary in intensity. Otherwise, how can you take a vow to love someone, if it’s just a feeling? Anyway, she went to counseling and was diagnosed with depression. Got on meds and therapy and things went great for about 5 years, but she’d stopped therapy just using meds. After 5 years she said they weren’t working anymore, then decided the cause of depression was the loss of feelings for me.

I highly recommend the following book/author:
“Depression Fallout” by Anne Sheffield.
Also has a website, depressionfallout.org

When things first started going wrong, it was very difficult to get to the issue-- we kept talking in circles. I read the book and it really captured how she was acting and making me feel, and then asked her to read it, it was a breakthrough. She was able to relate to the way the author described feelings and actions, as well as the way it was affecting me and the kids. We could each point to it and ask, is that what you’re feeling/seeing/experiencing? It helped us both to understand each other.

So, as others have said, counseling, retrovaille, marriage encounter, continuing to be the woman he married, do things for yourself to relieve the stress and stay upbeat, find the common things you both enjoy to do together, have him get both a physical and mental checkup. Read the above book, it may not help at all, but it will at least eliminate a possibility. Most of all, pray for guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 

[petitfleur]

I am sorry you are going through this. Like others mentioned I would go ahead and get help for yourself. Work on yourself and build up your friendships so you will have a strong support group. I am skeptical about the no one else. It could be an emotional affair, and not a physical one. Just prepare yourself for anything.