So, my husband and I have both grown up Protestant but have recently decided to become members of the Catholic church. My husband had previously been going to a non denominational church. Although I really liked the pastor and his wife and think that they are great people, I never really felt that the church was a perfect fit for me. I am a pretty introverted, reserved person and my husband’s church seemed more geared toward people that are more vocal and extroverted. My husband was a member of the worship team there, and a lot of times during worship, people would tend to get pretty loud. There was lots of clapping, speaking in tongues, even dancing sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I mean if thats how someone chooses to worship, I’m not going to judge them for that, but personally its just not my personality to do those things. I’m more likely to just stand there and really concentrate on listening to the lyrics of the song and meditating on them.
On one particular Sunday, one of the ladies there decided to stop everyone in the middle of worship, grab the microphone and started trying to get everyone worked up, saying that there were some people in the room who were worshiping “half-heartedly”. Its a really small church and considering the fact that I’m probably the quietest, most reserved person there, I couldnt help but to feel like she was talking about me. This really bothered me because I felt like who is she to judge how someone worships? Everyone is different and everyone worships differently. Her way isnt the right way or the only way. To be honest, my husband has had his issues with the church as well. The main reason he really joined was because he likes playing music with them and being on the worship team.
In the past, my husband and I both have heard some negative things about the Catholic church so we had never really been interested in joining until we decided to start doing our own research. Come to find out, a lot of the preconceived ideas that we had about the church were totally wrong. We decided to attend Mass at a nearby Catholic church last Sunday and afterwards we had a chat with the deacon and met the priest. The deacon was very helpful and friendly in answering any questions that we had. I honestly loved everything about the Catholic church. I loved how it was so calm and relaxing. I didn’t feel like anyone was judging me or making me feel uncomfortable.
Needless to say, I was pretty excited that I felt like I finally found the right church for me and my family. I’m ready to get things going so that we can become members but according to the deacon, my husband has to get annulment first because he was previously married. I was reading online that this process can take a year or more, is that true?? Also, I guess I’m kind of nervous because I don’t want there to be any issue with him getting the annulment but my husband assures me that there wont be, based on the circumstances of his previous marriage.
He is 35 and they’ve been divorced since he was 26. They were only married for a few years. He had never been married before, but she had been. She married someone right out of high school and got divorced about a year later. Shortly after that is when she and my husband got together. There were no children involved in my husband and his ex’s marriage. A few years into the relationship he found out that she was cheating on him. Supposedly she didnt physically cheat on him but she was emotionally cheating on him because she was exchanging inappropriate messages with her sister’s husband. Despite all of this, my husband was still willing to work things out with her because he took his marriage vows seriously. It was more than just about her, it was a commitment that he made unto God and he didn’t want to break that. But she wanted out, so she was the one that filed for the divorce. Within a year of their divorce she was already married to someone else. So my husband seems to think that the fact that she wasn’t faithful during the marriage and the fact that she had been previously married (which means she was unavailable to be married to him because she was still married to her first husband according to the church) is enough to qualify for an annulment. What are your opinions on this? Also, will the church have to get in contact with my husband’s ex at all? Like for instance, if my husband says that she was unfaithful during the marriage, will they just take his word for it or will they want to hear his ex’s side of the story? Thanks in advance!
Image that. Two lawyers not agreeing. I really do not know the best way to describe Pauline Privilege. My initial involvement here was the theological understand of the relationship between communion, mortal sin and marriage, not the canon law that is currently used in the Church. This case strikes me as interesting because I have always thought that this might need addressing some day, now that few Christians outside the Catholic Church are taught that remarriage after divorce leaves on in a state of mortal sin, or is even sinful venially.