Husband is buddhist, we're talking about having a vasectomy

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yes, the Church does do a lot for people, fortunately I have help from my family with things if I need it, plus my ex helps out if needed also.

well all I know is how I feel about vasectomies. My ex got one after our 2 child and I became very bitter about it a couple of years after, when I was ready for another child. This was before I became Catholic. Personally, I think it can destroy a marriage. With that being said, I think if a person absolutely insists on BC, I think the condom is the best way to go. It prevents conception, which I guess is better than allowing a newly concepted child to be killed. 🤷
 
I implore you to study “theology of the Body”…there are tons of books that have been writen on this encyclical (sp?) you can find them at any Catholic bookstore or online.

Fight the vasectomy because a part of you wants it especially…educate yourself so you can educate your husband.

Let me give some personal perspective here. My protestant H had a vasectomy against my wishes. I fought with him about it but felt I had to stop when I thought it was hurting us…I wanted to keep our relationship for the three we already had. I wish I had fought harder.

It hurt us in ways I had no way of foreseeing. I lost all interest in being intimate with my H…He acted as if it were circus time…suffice it to say our marriage has suffered…I suffer still. I know I was meant to have more children, and the trust in our relationship has taken a hit.

I pray for you…it is a tough situation to be in…remember that the marrital embrace is for bonding love, and creating life…when you take half of the reason for the act away the whole thing becomes unbalanced and unstable…

Give NFP another look and buy an ovulation test kit…normally used to become pregnant, it can also help you avoid

God Bless…
Teresa
 
There are also those fertility monitors that you pee on a stick and watch your fertility…

Anyway…luvmykids (OP)…your baby is only 10 weeks old! I would have loved for my uterus to have been removed at that time, I would have loved for my husbands nuts to be cut off…😛

Give this some time. I have a feeling that you are very emotional, number three is a huge, huge adjustment…

I am praying for you. Keep yourself in prayer and asked the Blessed Mother to pray for you.

This is probably one of the most difficult obstacles when you are not married to a Catholic.
 
Wow, I can’t tell you how much warmer I feel already. Like the holy ghost just came into my heart and took the weight off of my shoulders.

I’m sorry that everything came out jumbled, but it’s things I’ve struggled with for years and never had an outlet. I know, I was all over the map but I had to get it all out.

I already told my hubby that we aren’t doing a vasectomy and he asked why and I told him: No more sideline catholic for me and us. We go to church each sunday, but it’s time for us to get involved in the community, start praying more and living a more catholic life. He said okay. He knows my faith and I want him to convert on his own, not because I force him. He’s almost converted on his own he told me awhile ago. Since he owns a restaurant it is impossible for him right now to go to the classes. In 2 years I will be more insistent on him going to classes. He has even said to me that the catholic church is the 1st church and true church- wow…I know he knows.

Anyway, thank you all for responding. I know I’m a freak and everything just came pouring out and as some women said, yes, I am very overwhelmed and emotional right now. This 3rd child has put me emotionally out of the ball park and I struggle each day to make it through.

Please pray for me and my husband.

I thank you all for your responses. I will go get those books and start reading up.
 
oh, the ups and downs, ups and downs…

Girl, you are going to be just fine. Sounds like you have a loving hubby.

I will pray!
 
luvmykidz said:
Wow, I can’t tell you how much warmer I feel already. Like the holy ghost just came into my heart and took the weight off of my shoulders.

I’m sorry that everything came out jumbled, but it’s things I’ve struggled with for years and never had an outlet. I know, I was all over the map but I had to get it all out.

I already told my hubby that we aren’t doing a vasectomy and he asked why and I told him: No more sideline catholic for me and us. We go to church each sunday, but it’s time for us to get involved in the community, start praying more and living a more catholic life. He said okay. He knows my faith and I want him to convert on his own, not because I force him. He’s almost converted on his own he told me awhile ago. Since he owns a restaurant it is impossible for him right now to go to the classes. In 2 years I will be more insistent on him going to classes. He has even said to me that the catholic church is the 1st church and true church- wow…I know he knows.

Anyway, thank you all for responding. I know I’m a freak and everything just came pouring out and as some women said, yes, I am very overwhelmed and emotional right now. This 3rd child has put me emotionally out of the ball park and I struggle each day to make it through.

Please pray for me and my husband.

I thank you all for your responses. I will go get those books and start reading up.
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You and your husbqand are in my prayers, what I meant by you are all over the map is that you were saddling yourself with so many issues. It is very hard for us to see the forest for the trees, you have gotten a lot of good and loving advice on here!
 
luvmykidz,

Having read this thread I’m glad to see you are doing better. I want to recommend another book which is quite an easy read - Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn. Her husband Scott Hahn is a well known convert theologian and has written alot of good books too for understanding Catholicism.

I’ll be keeping you in my prayers and am so glad to know that your DH will not be doing the procedure.

Lucy
 
OP, you are aware that vasectomies do have failure rates, right? In fact, if conservatively following a scientific-based model of fertility monitoring such as Creighton, you have a similar failure rate. Training from a nurse or doctor can ensure success.

Here are some complications of a vas, as stated by the AFP
TABLE 1
Complications of Vasectomy Complication Rate of occurrence (%) Surgical complications Bleeding or hematoma1.6 to 4.6Incisional infection2.2 to 6.0Sperm granuloma15 to 40Congestive epididymitis0.4 to 6.1Other complications Hospitalization0.2 to 0.8Psychogenic impotenceUncommonVasourinary fistulaRareReprinted from Raspa RF. Complications of vasectomy. Am Fam Physician 1993;48:1264-8.
 
You have to live with your choices.

If you cannot handle the responsibility of any more children, then do what you need to do, to avoid having anymore.

The church has been wrong about things before, and this is one of the areas I believe they are wrong again. Many Bishops, and clergy also have no issue with Contraception.

A vote was put foward near on 50 years ago, and the majority agreed that contraception was fine. The Minority disagreed, and for reasons i won’t go into , the minority won the debate within the church.

Life is a gift. We don’t bring it into this world just because we “can”. We should alway’s do so responsibly, because we know what we can handle.

As a woman with ADD, more than 2 children would absolutely destroy me. I’m also aware, that the physical act of love, is a very important bonding experience between a couple. I won’t give up that bond, and I won’t have more than 2 kids.

Steralization is the only other option for me that I would consider.

I don’t feel bad about it, because I have to live with the result of my choices, the church doesn’t no matter how they may try and help. They can’t fix my brain…it’s the one I’m stuck with, unfortunatley(hehe)

I’m probably not helping you much, but I feel terribly for people that feel they don’t have things right with God when they are desperately trying to be responsible.

Call me a heretic if you will, but i could never behave irresponsibly when it comes to the human lives I’m involved with and having more children than I could cater for, would be exactly that.
 
Dameedna said:
The church has been wrong about things before, and this is one of the areas I believe they are wrong again. Many Bishops, and clergy also have no issue with Contraception.
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That would mean that according to you Jesus is wrong and was wrong when he gave his word to The Apostles!
If there are many Bishops and clergy as you say that have no issue with contraception, well they are wrong. Because they have no issue, does not make it right or not a mortal sin.
 
A vote was put foward near on 50 years ago, and the majority agreed that contraception was fine. The Minority disagreed, and for reasons i won’t go into , the minority won the debate within the church.
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I wasn’t aware that the Holy Spirit debates with Himself.
 
I could be wrong, but I think she meant that since it wasn’t a dogma of the Church, that it can be debated among clergy
 
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