Husband is Catholic and wants me to use the pill

[TheRealJuliane]

My husband was born and raised Catholic. I was born and raised in a non Catholic household, but always accepted Jesus as my savior. We weren’t married in a Catholic Church and never had our children baptized either. He hasn’t been to mass in years, and I have been trying to get involved in church to deepen my faith and to involve our two small children with The Lord as well. After trying a few churches with my husband, he is extremely interested in getting back to his Catholic roots. I am more than willing for our husband to lead our family and am willing to take all the RCIA classes in order to become a member of our Parrish. Here is my main concern: After reading and researching about Catholic views on contraception, I am deeply concerned about the contraception we have chosen for our family. I have been on the mini pill (progestin only) for a few years and I had no idea that it caused abortions. Needless to say, I’m horrified!!! I spoke to my husband about NFP and he is completely against the idea. He won’t give it a chance or even try to go to a class with me. He is completely unreasonable when it comes to me stopping the minipill. I’m in a pretty tough spot. I don’t want to take the pill, but I don’t want to deceive my husband by doing NFP and pretending to still take the mini pill. If the Bible states that wives should in fact submit to their husbands, what should I do? If I still take the mini pill and do NFP at the same time, and only have sex when I’m not ovulating and when there is no risk of becoming pregnant, is that still considered a mortal sin? I’m just so distraught over this, and I can’t seem to even approach my husband on the subject without him getting angry. Any advice would be appreciated and I certainly covet your prayers!

Joy

If your husband is extremely interested in getting back to his Catholic heritage, then he must deal with the sin of using artificial birth control. If he really is interested in “coming home,” this is something that is standing in his way. If he refuses to talk to your priest about this issue, you are going to have a problem going forward on the same side of the issue. It’s ironic and sad to me that the non-Catholic spouse sees that artificial contraception is wrong and sinful, and the Catholic is the one pushing FOR its use…

I understand your dilemma, though. My husband and I were BOTH lapsed Catholics and I had used ABC since I was 15. If I had stopped using it, it would have been a huge crisis point in our marriage. My fertility ended very early, God took the issue out of my hands, but my husband still maintains that large families are not a blessing.

I will add you to my prayers. I hope that your husband will at least discuss the issue with a priest. He can’t force YOU to carry this sin, when it’s his decision not to be open to life. That’s a deal-breaker for married Catholics - we are to remain open to life throughout our entire married intimate lives. He needs to hear that from a priest.

 

[JoyT86]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

 

[aemcpa]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

God is clearly working great things in the midst of your family. Continued prayers on the way.

 

[TexCatholic4JMJ]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

This is good news! I will continue to pray for you, your husband and your family.

New things are being discovered about the use of the pill, one recently about its link to
heart attacks! Becoming aware of harmful foods, etc is widely accepted even if not
agreed to, but not so with anything to do with abortions, contraceptives, etc. I hope your
husband will continue to support you and your concerns until he is fully on board with you.
Maybe he will then see how wise and right the teachings of the Church on this issue.

 

[Reverie]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

Give thanks to the Lord. This is wonderful news. Keep praying for your husband!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

This is FANTASTIC news!!!

:clapping::clapping::clapping::extrahappy::dancing:

Praise God, and Welcome Home! And Welcome BACK home to your husband, sounds like the Holy Spirit is speaking to him too!!

 

[1ke]

Well I have somewhat hopeful news… and I truly believe prayers have impacted my husband’s mind with this. We spoke about it, and I told him my reasons for not wanting to take the pill anymore. Basically, he agreed with me and said that I should “do what I need to do”, and that he will be the one to use a condom if he feels uncomfortable with NFP. This is HUGE. The fact that he is even considering using NFP is HUGE. Thank you all for all of your comments, and prayers. God bless.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

I suggest you look at Creighton or Sympto-Thermal and see if there are any teachers in your area. If he is a science-based guy, once he is done being irrational, he will see that the science is sound.

Now, on the virtue side of the house, he may have to learn self control and that might be a struggle for someone used to approaching their sex life differently.

But, just keep going one step at a time.

 

[alpino]

You might laugh at me but I’ve never seen my wife do a bad thing ever in a devoted close loving 27 years of marriage that has weathered many storms [all my doing]. She spreads love & harmony & sincerity & the grace of God wherever she goes. I never questioned her about using the pill. She stopped & we have three fine sons. You know what worries me? What I did in the war… “you were defending your country” no, they were defending their country. I guess I have to wait for God to tell me the truth about that; and you about your Catholic husband wanting you to use the pill.