Dear Sparkle,
YES, maendem and others…thank you for asking. And you are very correct. We ARE in Christian counseling, have had about 3 or 4 appts. so far–going tomorrow again matter of fact. I feel though, that the “very nice” man sympathizes with my husband and needs to be harder on him than what he is. i.e., he’ll say: “That’s very good you’ve found another job, uh uh, I bet that makes you feel good, etc.”…I wish he’d say—“what’s wrong with you? Why do you ruin every good opportunity with being so irresponsible?”…guess this is the counseling style…he does alot of “listening”, “how does this make you feel”??? etc. oh well…it will take a while I suppose----but think it’s helping!
Sparkle, I went through a similar thing. I put up with my husband’s behavior for 17 years because my parents and his parents told me its a sin to get a divorce or even think about it. There were times we were without electricity or gas because we couldn’t pay the bills. I had to heat water on an electric burner and run the pots of water upstairs to our tub in order to give my son a bath (when our gas was shut off). Of course I worked which made me even more angrier as I was a working mom and had to work with a chronic illness on top of that while he didn’t work or try to start some get rich quick scheme. We did try marriage counselling to no avail. After 17 years I had enough and filed for a divorce. My story has a happy ending, I did eventually get an annulment and I’m remarried happily this time to a good man. I wish you luck on your journey in life, I will pray for your marriage.
Bless You Estella and thx for replying. You’re a dear. I do really believe also in my heart that divorce is a sin, as God says He hates it, except for the most awful of circumstances I suppose that cannot be avoided, despite all attempts, abuse, abandonment, etc. Sounds like your hubby pretty much abandoned you. Mine has not quite gotten to this point yet, we’ve been teetering on the edge. Prayin’ hard–that’s for sure.! I certainly don’t want divorce, knowing the harm it would do to my children. And hubby and I do love each other alot, but sure have gone thru lots of ups and downs lately, due to HIS irresponsibility. Now, there’s another glimmer of hope, yet another one, which could fizzle like the last 20. I appreciate your prayers Estella, really I do. As I said, we are on the tip of the iceberg, could lean either way. Lord willing, it will be the way towards reconciliation of our family, financially, emotionally, spiritually too. Hubby was also emotionally unfaithful, and it will take alot for me to come around again emotionally. Sometimes, I wonder if I can go on even one more day, but then God gives me a sign to hang in there still. Am counting on our Lord and His promises.
Yes, “Mary’s Lamb”-----I think he does have ADD! Has for years! hahahaha, you know that “hard to listen husband syndrome”. No honestly, his problems are due I’m convinced solely to his upbringing. I’ve been told he’s got to lay in his messes to LEARN to do things differently, and he’s done that (along with all of us) several times. Believe me I’m being just about as supportive as I can possibly be. Many have told me they would have divorced him by now, but basically we’re a happy family, and God keeps showing me signs that we’re where we need to be, (like hubby telling me he went to Mass on his lunch hour) and him actually staying awake in church lately. I think he might be coming around spiritually. All in God’s time!!!