Husband kicking us out

[estesbob]

my husband is forcing me to leave -he’s giving me no choice. He has a real anger problem that caused him to be fired and quit two jobs within the last 5 months - the one he quit wanted him back in the end because he works a lot of hours and less pay than it should be. He complains about everything and threatens people, mostly me. He treats everyone like they are beneath him.

Still, I am a moron and still I don’t want to leave the marriage. But, he is saying if I stay and am not perfect with what he wants within a few months , he wants or full custody of our son - he wants this written up and signed, or I can leave at the end of the month with not much money in my pocket and our son . he doesn’t want him anyway, he says he doesn’t want a kid or family, just wants money, but if I stay and try to work it out and I “fail” in his eyes, I will have to lose something important to me, so it should be our son, right? That’s what he thinks. He has signed before something we wrote out saying that he doesn’t want custody or to ever see our son again, and I still have that paper.

Anyway, no way will I gamble with my son so I am out of here at the end of the month. I just don’t know how I will be able to do that and get through this. Some will say stay and fight, the mother is favored in court, and all that but let’s say he doens’t care much about the law and following it when you tick him off, so just better to come to a mutual agreement than fighting. In the divorce, it will be there anyway that I have sole custody.

I will move in with my parents, they have been ready for me to come back for years. I wont’ tell them before Christmas though because I don’t want to ruin it for everyone.

I just need some words of encouragement I guess. I am hurting alot even though I want to be mad, I am sad and hurt and crying.

Get a Lawyer NOW!

 

[Sarabande]

Iowagirl - You and your son are in my prayers. As others have said, please seek legal advice and get to your support system - parents, family friends now.

One older friend said to me once when relaying her story of a verbally and physically abusive marriage that she stayed in until her husband started to abuse their toddler son who, in turn, began to pick up his habits. She knew she had to get out right then and there. She didn’t want her son to become a (Edited) like his father. It wasn’t easy for her - a 19/20-year-old single mother. But it was for her son and for her self-worth.

Please find support. I will be praying for you.

 

[rpp]

IowaGirl, can you give us an update on the situation?

 

[1_of_6]

I will keep you in my prayers every night, and I will pray for you at Mass. Tonight I will say a rosary for you. I hope you find the help you need. :angel1: :console:

 

[whatevergirl]

Iowa–I hope you are ok. I have been thinking of you a lot since you posted here. I am hoping that you are out of the house now? Please let us know how you are, when you can.

 

[mercygate]

Indeed, Iowa. We’re keeping you up front in prayer. Keep us in the loop – even if it’s difficult.

 

[Sheeniac]

It’s hard to leave, I know - my mother did when I was 15. Prayers up for you.

 

[nana3]

Hi Iowa. As one who had a very angry husband all the time in the beginning of our marriage, I sympathize. My husband is much better since he started on medications for depression and his anger. I don’t think I could have stayed with him otherwise for it was living hell listening to how he use to talk and yell at me. He would get angry for any reason and embarrass me in public. Boy do I understand.

I will keep you in prayers and said a Rosary tonight for you and your intentions. It is never easy to leave someone especially when your self esteem is so low due to the yelling. I hope you have gotten help and are safe with your parents for Christmas.

Please PM if you need to talk to someone. I had to leave my husband, only for one night, when he was so angry and yelling. I had to teach him that it was unacceptible behavior. It was so hard for me to do for I felt sorry for him, but I did it. You have to think of yourself and your son and what is best for your safety.

My husband never hit me, but use to hit the walls and I was told that is domestic violence. I thank God he is not like that anymore. Hang in there and you are not alone for Jesus loves you and is with your and in fact is carrying you through this difficult time.

I do agree with the others in getting legal advice. I also agree that he won’t get full custody of your son. I don’t know about Iowa, but here in Florida it is difficult for any one parent to get full custody for they see it has in the best interest of the child or children to have both parents in their lives. Don’t listen to your husband that he would take your son from you for it is not easy to do and he has to prove that you are not in the best interest of the child. On the other hand, if your husband wants visitation, you should not agree to it without supervision from the beginning!!

Let us know how you are. We give you a big hug!::grouphug:

 

[dkoinzan]

I wouldn’t count on him getting full custody in IA. There have been to many children hurt and the social service and justice systems have take to big of a hit for it in IA.

Do what you need to do to stay safe. My prayers are with you.