Well that’s your perogative. But perhaps you should spare a thought for the fact that you’re objectifying someone in the name of “harmless fun”. Would you be just as cavalier if it were your daughter or sister?
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pensmama87
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Why a Catholic man (or woman) would include anything in a bachelor party that involves grave matter is, frankly, beyond me.
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Yeah. I mean, my bachelor party was bowling. With all the boys in the family and my friends. So the age group was from 8 to 55. Why do you need a semi-naked woman jumping out of a cake to have fun?
To be honest, the whole idea of a strip club is kind of sad. I can think of a million better things to do.
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TheLittleLady
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Wow.
People are no longer men once married?
Real men exploit women by paying them to dance nekkid?
The men of virtue that I know have bachelor parties at a steak house with some good cigars and maybe a special bottle of whiskey or brandy.
They go on a fishing trip or go hiking in the mountains together.
Men who exploit women before marriage are probably too immature to be starting a family, they are certainly not men of faith.
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gracepoole
Guest
Newsflash: manhood is not defined by exposing yourself to sin and demeaning women.
And yeah, his fiance understood. That’s why she set boundaries with which she was comfortable. That you and her fiance readily dismissed her concern demonstrates a really poor understanding of commitment.
I hope marriage isn’t in your immediate future – you’re not prepared. The fact that 1) you see your male friends entering into marriage as someone losing their manhood and giving up all that they once were, and 2) you would be angry with a fiance telling you she’s uncomfortable with you viewing other women naked spells disaster for a lifelong relationship.
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Elizabeth3
Guest
Exactly. Since when did manhood include the right to objectify women and marriage mean a loss of that aspect of manhood? It’s a sin, married or not.
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1ke
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You do realize having strippers at a party or going to a strip club is a mortal sin, right?
Your fiancé wanting you to NOT sin is something to be angry about? Your fiancé wanting you to NOT look at naked women is something to be angry about?
Thank God for my husband who did not want to do anything immoral in the name of being a “bachelor”. Thank God for my husband who respected himself, me, and God.
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1ke
Guest
Actually, I think that fact that she had to set boundaries at all was a red flag she ignored.
I did not “set boundaries” or make demands of my now-husband because he is equally opposed to those sorts of things. He has never been to such an establishment and would never step foot in one. The company he keeps would not do so either nor try to entice or goad him into doing something immoral.
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gracepoole
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Ding, ding, ding! Exactly.gracepoole:
Actually, I think that fact that she had to set boundaries at all was a red flag she ignored.
I did not “set boundaries” or make demands of my now-husband because he is equally opposed to those sorts of things. He has never been to such an establishment and would never step foot in one. The company he keeps would not do so either nor try to entice or goad him into doing something immoral.
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pensmama87
Guest
Yep. My husband went golfing.
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kptrs
Guest
My “bachelorette party” was pedicures and then lunch with my maid of honor, mom, aunties, grandma, and a few friends. One of my favorite wedding memories.
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SnowRose
Guest
My deceased husband’s bachelor party was his friends dressing him up in silly science fiction clothes, walking all over town with banners & placards & airhorns, ending with a good dinner together.
No naughtiness, no strippers, just roasting the groom in public and having silly fun together.
No naughtiness, no strippers, just roasting the groom in public and having silly fun together.
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teddy1
Guest
I’m sorry, I just think men operate with a different mindset than women. I can understand why a women would be upset if her husband went to a strip club, or saw another women after their marriage, but even that only shows a disconnect in the marriage itself, not whether the person is a bad guy/girl or not. But if you are a man and are saying you’re not even curious about strip clubs than you are only fooling yourself. Frankly, I keep trying to rack my brain thinking what the OP’s actual concerns are here. She is angry about something that happened two years ago? It’s not like the guy is having an affair. And by the way, when you get married you do surrender things, which is what is so bittersweet about seeing some of my friends get married. I really hope OP finds some peace with this issue because if this is the hardest thing they have to go through, then they have had a pretty good marriage.
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teddy1
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Stripping is a sad life, and a hard life. I would not want that type of life for my daughter or sister. But I am not here to judge. If someone wants to strip, then that’s their choice, and if I am in the room, then that is my choice. I don’t view it as objectifying, it’s not some type of an addiction for me. It’s just as you said “harmless fun” with the guys.
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alice24
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Christian morality values are, thank god, higher than gender differences. Spouses are equal in marriage, and the “different mindset” is neither the reality in those issues, nor the guideline for church teachings.
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Rozellelily
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I agree with what everyone else responded.
Why would you feel angry at your fiancée for feeling that it is disrespectful to her to have a stripper?
Why do you have such an attachment to strippers that you perceive it as a part of manhood rather than a distortion of what manhood should be?
A man of character doesn’t just see a pretty girl who’s naked for his pleasure,he sees another full human being,a daughter of God,who he’s exploiting/objectifying or who’s choosing to objectify herself.
If you see women this way,and see this as your “last opportunity” to see another woman naked or “get off” on it before you are “tied up” (so to speak) to get married,are you really at a place of maturity to get married?
Why would you feel angry at your fiancée for feeling that it is disrespectful to her to have a stripper?
Why do you have such an attachment to strippers that you perceive it as a part of manhood rather than a distortion of what manhood should be?
A man of character doesn’t just see a pretty girl who’s naked for his pleasure,he sees another full human being,a daughter of God,who he’s exploiting/objectifying or who’s choosing to objectify herself.
If you see women this way,and see this as your “last opportunity” to see another woman naked or “get off” on it before you are “tied up” (so to speak) to get married,are you really at a place of maturity to get married?
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Rozellelily
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It sounds like you have been conditioned by the type of men around you to think that this is a normal part of being a male.
But it’s not actually an inherent part of males nature,it’s rather just that it has been “normalised” by your circle of friends (and maybe even your parents?).
Some women do actually go to male strip shows or strip clubs too.
Actually,a woman has opened a woman’s only strip club in Melbourne so there must be enough “patronage” from women to make this a viable business for her.
I’m telling you this not because I like them but rather to “challenge” your viewpoint that men and women are different sexually/by nature and that this is just something that men “naturally do”.
You mentioned harmless fun-is it harmless though?
I would think there is harm to society,yourself and your fiancée (at the very least).
(Sorry if the photo on the linked article causes anyone offence.)
But it’s not actually an inherent part of males nature,it’s rather just that it has been “normalised” by your circle of friends (and maybe even your parents?).
Some women do actually go to male strip shows or strip clubs too.
Actually,a woman has opened a woman’s only strip club in Melbourne so there must be enough “patronage” from women to make this a viable business for her.
I’m telling you this not because I like them but rather to “challenge” your viewpoint that men and women are different sexually/by nature and that this is just something that men “naturally do”.
You mentioned harmless fun-is it harmless though?
I would think there is harm to society,yourself and your fiancée (at the very least).
(Sorry if the photo on the linked article causes anyone offence.)
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That is male bovine excrement.
Normal men do not lust after women who are not their wife. Most are NOT “curious” about strip clubs. Well, maybe I’m curious about how these women get into that. That’s about it.
If you think the normal male mindset involves this then you have been hanging wth the wrong men.
It seems like a bigger sign of a disconnect in the marriage would be a man who goes to strip clubs.
Normal men do not lust after women who are not their wife. Most are NOT “curious” about strip clubs. Well, maybe I’m curious about how these women get into that. That’s about it.
If you think the normal male mindset involves this then you have been hanging wth the wrong men.
It seems like a bigger sign of a disconnect in the marriage would be a man who goes to strip clubs.
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pensmama87
Guest
Strip clubs present a fascination and temptation in the exact same way as any other violation against chastity. It’s not wrong to be tempted. I’m sure my husband has faced these kinds of temptations. (I know I have! Women have sex drives too!) But what matters is what you do with it. And if you practice virtue, it gets easier to stay virtuous. If you make excuses and rationalize, well…
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1ke
Guest
Or you practice virtue and have self control, and also know these places for what they are.
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