Husband not coming home

[DJgang]

My husband has done this to me, however, he has never told me that he doesn’t have to answer to me.

I have no advice.

But I do think he has a drinking problem, he may be suffering from depression and you two need counseling (if you can get him to go, good luck)…

Praying for you.

St. Monica, pray for us!

 

[gam3rchic]

Hi there. I want to point out that the DUI was a long time ago, so yes he will go out and drink, but if he has more than 2 he will not drive (I mean, he’s not drinking like 5 drinks or anything like that - he doesn’t even want to touch a car if he has 2 or 3 beers). I am mad because he should have at least let me know he wasn’t coming home - he didn’t do this and then I have no idea what’s going on. But one thing I can say for sure if that there is zero chance of him cheating, so thank God at least I don’t have to worry about that

If you don’t know what is going on, how do you know he isn’t cheating as well? I’m sorry for all you are going through and will pray for you and your son who must be suffering so much!

 

[Pinkyyy]

If you don’t know what is going on, how do you know he isn’t cheating as well? I’m sorry for all you are going through and will pray for you and your son who must be suffering so much!

Hi Gam, I know - 100% that there’s not cheating. It’s not even in the picture and this is a definate thing - not even a .001% chance. Thank you for your prayers!

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi Gam, I know - 100% that there’s not cheating. It’s not even in the picture and this is a definate thing - not even a .001% chance. Thank you for your prayers!

How do you know that, just asking. Are you having him followed?

 

[KingAlfred]

My husband sometimes goes out to a club around here (about an hour away) and he spends time with his friends and that kind of stuff. Well the bar closes at 1:30 and he should have been home at least by 3. It’s 5 and he’s not home. He has done this before. It makes me distrust him. He doesn’t care and says he doesn’t have to answer to me.

My cell phone is broke so I can’t call (we only have long distance through the cells) so I can’t get ahold of him and even though I ask, he NEVER calls to let me know what’s going on (he has his phone and could call the home phone - I have made sure the line is free all night incase he needs a ride or call). He may be drunk and sleeping at his friends, he could be eating breakfast or something with them (they have done that), or for all I know he could be dead in the gutter.

This is rediculous and I’m pretty ticked right now - what should I do when he comes home?

Check the swing on the back porch, so he can’t claim to have slept on it, after discovering you locked him out.

 

[Danuska]

I’m going to deviate here from the others. You’re husband sounds like he has a drinking problem and is trapped in addiction hence the going out all night, not coming home and abusive behavior.

Well, it could be, but then drinking problems also have their own roots. But I have met people like that who were not drinking, yet were abusive. My friend’s husband is like that… he does not have drinking problem.

Besides, people turn to drink often because they cannot cope with something. Your husband, Pinkyy, I think was not happy as a child, children do not feel secure if there is no peace between the parents. It would also be interesting to see if the father didn’t put him down a lot, I think he also must have some inferiority complex and that is why he created this pararell reality, he does not like to think about himself as a failure so he projects that feeling on all around him, that includes you, his job (he is too good to have one, he has to open his own business etc). In the meantime, you have become depressed, I guess, and since he keeps putting you down, your self-esteem has just gone donw… that is why you need to take care of yourself, your husband is already living ‘outside’ his family life, and your life still evolves around him, and he knows that. Well, try to change that a bit

 

[KingAlfred]

It’s time to read your husband The Riot Act. He’s out of control.

 

[stbruno]

What I am going to suggest to you is not typical of the answers, but I am going to do it anyway. I went with my spouse to see an unbelievable movie last night. If you and your husband occasional get out to a movie then I would recommend asking him to go with you. If he really has little to do with you…then go see this movie alone. It is worth it. It’s called Fireproof. It’s a powerful movie for couples who are struggling, for those contemplating marriage, for those who are happily married. It is being seen in a limited area, but if it is available within driving distance…go. It may impact you and how you are dealing with your situation immensely. Say a prayer…go to its website…fireproofthemovie.com/ …and look for a theater near you. If it is not available in your area, purchase or rent the movie when it comes out. That’s how amazing this movie is. We do marriage prep in our parish, and I plan on incorporating it in our prep. God bless you.

 

[whatevergirl]

**I’m part of a Bible study here at my employer, and someone within the group was speaking about this movie last week. Thanks for the review…I’ll have to check it out, soon. **