Husband Okay with Wife Watching Porn?

[Jon_S_1]

Yeah, millions of people. That’s all I said, that everyone else is doing it.

Look, I pointed to Catholic clergy who disagree with you. Sure, you can hold the view that it is “porn” all you want, but it doesn’t meet any definition of porn, nor is that it’s primary purpose or use. Now, just as you are free to think that it’s porn so is the OP, and that difference in opinion is one that her and her husband will have to find a way to work through.

But your opinion on this one is just that, your opinion. It is not based on any church teaching and it is important to realize that many people, Catholic leaders included, disagree with you.

Of course Catholic priests are not impeccable or infallible. This goes without saying right?

As a young man, I can tell you that those scenes in those shows serve one purpose…lustful eye candy. That is what porn is for, and that is why it is placed in those shows.

In case there is confusion:

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

Viewing the real or simulated sex acts on Game of Thrones "removed the acts from the intimacy of the partners in order to display them deliberately to third parties ".

It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants

Is it your opinion that it is not sinful for two unmarried actors to get naked and be intimate with each other on camera?

 

[Jon_S_1]

I recommend the following article:

We are sensory beings. What we see and hear has an impact upon our spiritual nature. And no, it does not matter whether you think it does or not. It just does. For example, there is a reason we have art galleries and a reason we have the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Beauty is an essential aspect of what it means to be human because beauty is one of the three transcendentals that constitute what is taking place in the heart of the Godhead. Within the very essence of the Trinity exist Truth, Beauty and Goodness in their ultimate and full expression. So, in this life the degree to which we expose ourselves to truth, beauty and goodness will strongly impact our relationship with God and our ability to experience him in daily life.You contemplate beauty you get closer to God…you watch Game of Thrones you get the opposite.

Game of Thrones strikes out on all three transcendentals. It is not true, in the sense that its depictions of sexuality and human intimacy do not conform to the truth of human sexuality as an exclusive gift by which spouses make a mutual self-donative gift of love in harmony with the self-giving essence of the Trinity. Game of Thrones is not beautiful and it ain’t got the market cornered on goodness either!

What exactly do you think St. Paul was getting at when he said in Philippian’s 4 V. 8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” He knew very clearly that what we allowed our eyes, ears and minds to dwell upon was pretty damn important. It”s not rocket science people!

I never thought I would quote St. Paul and Nietzsche so closely but good old Friedrich Nietzsche, that happy camper that helped provide the philosophical basis for the holocaust and topped Hitler’s ‘Must Read’ list, made the point. “If you stare into the abyss long enough the abyss stares back.” He knew that the longer we watch, consume and assimilate dodgy ideas and stimuli the sooner we find ourselves attracting the attention of genuine evil who is all too ready to serve more of what we want. 24 hour room service from the Pit! Oh, and yes, Catholics can mention evil and Satan. Pope Francis does it at least once per week and he mentions evil by name. So if you’re in the camp of ,”Evil is just bad ideas.”, then take it up with the Pope.

beingcatholic.com.au/can-catholics-watch-game-of-thrones/

 

[Jon_S_1]

Also Fr Konzman’s post you referenced begins with:

Warning: Before writing what will generally be a positive review of HBO’s Game of Thrones, it’s necessary to make one thing clear. This series is not for children or those easily scandalized by violent and sexually explicit material. HBO apparently decided that the books weren’t explicit enough (they were) and that they needed to lure people to the show by appealing to baser appetites (they didn’t).

Both the OP and her husband are scandalized. Her because she says so and he because he is formerly hooked on porn.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Also Fr Konzman’s post you referenced begins with:

Both the OP and her husband are scandalized. Her because she says so and he because he is formerly hooked on porn.

Not the same priest that I was talking about actually, but thanks. I just looked up his article and it’s pretty good too.

I’m not saying that GoT can’t be a problem. I’m saying that it is not porn.* It’s primary purpose is not to titillate, and the people who watch it do not do so in hopes of being aroused. It is not for you to determine if the OP’s husband is scandalized, nor is it for the OP to decide. Only the husband knows whether or not it’s an issue for him. (Also, there’s no evidence he was ever “hooked” on porn. Much like alcohol, many people use it without developing an addiction.)

All I’m saying is that everyone needs to slow down and give this guy a break. If my husband out of the blue approached me about my porn consumption and told me that I needed to “recover”, I would be thoroughly confused. If he said he came to that conclusion because I like GoT, after I was finished laughing I would probably be pretty angry. ** That conclusion stems from the assumption that he is watching this as a means to seek sexual gratification outside of his marriage. That is a very weighty charge, and it’s one that can irreparably change a marriage. ** I wouldn’t throw that accusation out lightly, and considering the strength of the “evidence” against the OP’s husband, now is probably not an appropriate time to do so.

*I will happily concede that someone who sits down and fast forwards to all of the sex scenes in a season would in effect be watching a compilation of implied sexual activity or “soft-core” porn and that would be wrong and offensive (and way more time consuming and far less graphic than just looking up real porn). But watching a full episode where maybe 2 minutes total has sexual content and no graphic genital shots just doesn’t sound like a porn problem to me.

 

[Allegra]

If the OP spoke to her husband about being uncomfortable with the pornographic nature of some scenes in a show that may or may not be Game of Thrones, and his response was that he wouldn’t mind it if she watched porn, I think it is safe to say that the husband at least sees it as arousing. Otherwise, he would not be bringing up the idea that porn “isn’t that bad”. The OP should explain why she feels offended and disrespected by her husband oogling over the portrayed sex acts of strangers. If he is only interested in the show for it’s awesome dramatic portrayal and fascinating plotlines, then maybe they can compromise and he can promise to skip the sex scenes. (since he’s watching it online anyway) If not, then he should honor his wife and find some other form of entertainment. It’s just a stupid TV show.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Not the same priest that I was talking about actually, but thanks. I just looked up his article and it’s pretty good too.

I’m not saying that GoT can’t be a problem. I’m saying that it is not porn.* It’s primary purpose is not to titillate, and the people who watch it do not do so in hopes of being aroused. It is not for you to determine if the OP’s husband is scandalized, nor is it for the OP to decide. Only the husband knows whether or not it’s an issue for him. (Also, there’s no evidence he was ever “hooked” on porn. Much like alcohol, many people use it without developing an addiction.)

All I’m saying is that everyone needs to slow down and give this guy a break. If my husband out of the blue approached me about my porn consumption and told me that I needed to “recover”, I would be thoroughly confused. If he said he came to that conclusion because I like GoT, after I was finished laughing I would probably be pretty angry. ** That conclusion stems from the assumption that he is watching this as a means to seek sexual gratification outside of his marriage. That is a very weighty charge, and it’s one that can irreparably change a marriage. ** I wouldn’t throw that accusation out lightly, and considering the strength of the “evidence” against the OP’s husband, now is probably not an appropriate time to do so.

*I will happily concede that someone who sits down and fast forwards to all of the sex scenes in a season would in effect be watching a compilation of implied sexual activity or “soft-core” porn and that would be wrong and offensive (and way more time consuming and far less graphic than just looking up real porn). But watching a full episode where maybe 2 minutes total has sexual content and no graphic genital shots just doesn’t sound like a porn problem to me.

Here’s your thing, your definition of porn is vastly different than the catechism’s.

That said, no one is saying the OP should go up and say flat out, you need to recover from porn because you watched game of thrones.

What we are saying is, the OP is wounded by her husbands past porn usage, she now feels wounded that he is seeing these scenes in game of thrones. In addition she is wounded that her husband sees porn usage as a tool to be utilized by his wife. This shows his true feelings about pornography.

As such, he should desire to make his wife feel comfortable, healed, and loved. He is placing the show above her.

In addition, if I was a betting man, I would bet his porn usage is quite greater than viewing game of thrones. Men lie about this especially to their wives. Wife approaches husband and says “I don’t like that show it seems like porn”

Husband says "maybe you could use a little porn to get you in the mood more "

Wife “are you watching porn again”

Man “no dear of course not” (as he thinks of ways to be more careful hiding it )

 

[yahoo1225]

Maybe a compromise will help the TV show problem?

When watching TV online, it is very easy to switch windows to something else while the sex is going on, and then go back when the sex is over. Sex is kind of just…everywhere, not just on Game of Thrones and, personally, that’s how I deal with it.

I don’t see a reason to stop cold turkey. I mean, Game of Thrones is a pretty darn good show and there is SO much more to it than just sex.

But I don’t see a reason to sit there and watch the muck onscreen when one click of the mouse will hide it and another click can bring him back when it’s over. Especially if you, his wife, are feeling hurt by it.

I don’t even know what to say about his comment that he would let you use porn. That would upset me, too.

On the side discussion of porn…

The Vatican film list includes films with sex scenes, like The Decalogue. Not every onscreen depiction of sex can be condemned as porn. As far as I’m concerned, porn is porn when there is no other goal except to excite the viewers sexually.

Game of Thrones is a gray area IMO.

In its defense, it is an award-winning, artistic show with great actors playing great characters. If you watch the non-sex-scenes, you can very easily see that. Sexuality is a part of every human being and it makes sense that a show with fully developed characters will develop the sexuality of every character.

Against Game of Thrones, subtlety is a great thing. While developing the characters’ sexuality, they do seem to get carried away and show more than is necessary for character development. Still, the character development is there and there is more than just sexual excitement.

 

[1ke]

Of course Catholic priests are not impeccable or infallible. This goes without saying right?

There is something seriously wrong with a priest recommending this content. What sort of interior spiritual life does this cultivate?

 

[BlueEyedLady]

That said, no one is saying the OP should go up and say flat out, you need to recover from porn because you watched game of thrones.

Actually, that’s exactly what 1ke said. She said specifically that he needs to “recover”, because GoT is porn. I didn’t even say that she was wrong that this was a problem, only that she was making some crazy assumptions about the OP’s husband based on things that she didn’t know. Approaching him with the notion of “recovery” based on what was said in the OP would be uncharitable and could do more harm than good.

What we are saying is, the OP is wounded by her husbands past porn usage, she now feels wounded that he is seeing these scenes in game of thrones. In addition she is wounded that her husband sees porn usage as a tool to be utilized by his wife. This shows his true feelings about pornography.

Maybe. You cannot demand that someone feel a certain way about something. What you can do is ask that they protect your feelings despite their own opinions. My husband doesn’t look at porn because he knew long before we married that I wouldn’t tolerate it in my marriage. I refuse to marry someone who makes me feel like I come in second to images on a screen. My husband, probably the kindest, most generous soul on the planet, gave it up all at once for good. Now, he isn’t against porn, and he disagrees with me that it is damaging to a marriage. But he understands how I feel and why I feel that way, and he was willing to give it up because he knew that it was a non-negotiable with me and I mattered more than porn. I see this as the same thing. The OP’s husband is an autonomous adult with his own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. All the OP can do is expect that he will protect her feelings and place her before himself, as she should be doing with him. I cannot shout at my husband to change his mind and think that porn is bad, I cannot beg him to think differently than he does, and I have no right to hold his thoughts over his head as though they make him less than a person. In my view, he is a bigger person than most, because despite his own opinions and prior habits, he was willing to set it all aside for my feelings. The OP’s husband may very well fall into the same camp, and holding the fact that he is not personally against porn against him is unfair.

As such, he should desire to make his wife feel comfortable, healed, and loved. He is placing the show above her.

Again, maybe. We don’t know that. I didn’t get the impression that she has brought this up with him, and he cannot be expected to read her mind. While spouses have a right to demand to be put first, I view this as almost an abuse of that. Demanding that he give up his favorite TV show when he thinks it is harmless because she would call it ‘porn’ (and even if you think it is, the fact we each independently found priests that disagree places this in a gray area at worst) would be selfish. She needs to make her feelings known, and they need to work together on a compromise that protects her feelings and respects his autonomy. Personally, I like the fast-forwarding idea.

In addition, if I was a betting man, I would bet his porn usage is quite greater than viewing game of thrones. Men lie about this especially to their wives. Wife approaches husband and says “I don’t like that show it seems like porn”

I wouldn’t. My mom watches GoT, I highly doubt she’s into porn. We both referenced priests earlier. My husband and I watch the show together, and neither of us uses porn. Many posters in the Popular Media section watch it and do not believe in porn at all. I would be willing to bet anything that there are many viewers who do not use porn.

 

[merne9]

I really didn’t know until now that that’s how he felt about the subject. I know he is just being honest with me but now I feel angry, hurt, and betrayed in a way. Am I being too much of a prude? What can I say to him about all of this?

You are not being a prude. I can totally relate. Look, we feel like we are the ones with the problem, because every body else seems to be OK with so much sexuality especially on tv shows.
I could be reading too much into this but from my experience, your husband, downplaying the sex/porn is a way to keep your guard down. If he convinces you that it’s not about the sex content on his show or that he wouldn’t mind if you watched porn he is really hoping you reciprocate and not care either.
Be direct, he has had problems with pornography, he needs to find a different show he likes that does not have that type of content.

 

[1ke]

It is not based on any church teaching.

well, yes, actually it is. The teachings on the sixth commandment, the ninth commandment, the virtues of modesty, and purity, and the capital sins which oppose these.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Actually, that’s exactly what 1ke said. She said specifically that he needs to “recover”, because GoT is porn. I didn’t even say that she was wrong that this was a problem, only that she was making some crazy assumptions about the OP’s husband based on things that she didn’t know. Approaching him with the notion of “recovery” based on what was said in the OP would be uncharitable and could do more harm than good.

Maybe. You cannot demand that someone feel a certain way about something. What you can do is ask that they protect your feelings despite their own opinions. My husband doesn’t look at porn because he knew long before we married that I wouldn’t tolerate it in my marriage. I refuse to marry someone who makes me feel like I come in second to images on a screen. My husband, probably the kindest, most generous soul on the planet, gave it up all at once for good. Now, he isn’t against porn, and he disagrees with me that it is damaging to a marriage. But he understands how I feel and why I feel that way, and he was willing to give it up because he knew that it was a non-negotiable with me and I mattered more than porn. I see this as the same thing. The OP’s husband is an autonomous adult with his own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. All the OP can do is expect that he will protect her feelings and place her before himself, as she should be doing with him. I cannot shout at my husband to change his mind and think that porn is bad, I cannot beg him to think differently than he does, and I have no right to hold his thoughts over his head as though they make him less than a person. In my view, he is a bigger person than most, because despite his own opinions and prior habits, he was willing to set it all aside for my feelings. The OP’s husband may very well fall into the same camp, and holding the fact that he is not personally against porn against him is unfair.

Again, maybe. We don’t know that. I didn’t get the impression that she has brought this up with him, and he cannot be expected to read her mind. While spouses have a right to demand to be put first, I view this as almost an abuse of that. Demanding that he give up his favorite TV show when he thinks it is harmless because she would call it ‘porn’ (and even if you think it is, the fact we each independently found priests that disagree places this in a gray area at worst) would be selfish. She needs to make her feelings known, and they need to work together on a compromise that protects her feelings and respects his autonomy. Personally, I like the fast-forwarding idea.

I wouldn’t. My mom watches GoT, I highly doubt she’s into porn. We both referenced priests earlier. My husband and I watch the show together, and neither of us uses porn. Many posters in the Popular Media section watch it and do not believe in porn at all. I would be willing to bet anything that there are many viewers who do not use porn.

My bet that is using porn had nothing to do with game of thrones, but instead his history and recommendation that his wife view porn.

You seem to be overlooking that part.

Similarly, is it ok to drink alcohol? Yes

Is it ok for someone who was an alcoholic to drink alcohol? Probably not.

If that person is recommending their loved ones get drunk would it raise concern of his sobriety. Absolutely.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

My bet that is using porn had nothing to do with game of thrones, but instead his history and recommendation that his wife view porn.

The OP’s husband is really taking a beating on this thread. He did not “recommend” that she view porn, he said that he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

My husband wouldn’t have a problem with me viewing porn either, but he doesn’t watch it.

Actually, I’m 99.9999% sure that if one night while my husband was playing a video game I got up and told him I was going to go to bed and watch an “adult movie”, his eyebrows would shoot straight up with interest/excitement, and 3 minutes later I would get a gentle knock on the door asking if I would like to turn fantasy into reality.

Again, he doesn’t use porn and hasn’t for years. Could be be looking on his phone behind my back? Sure, I could do the same to him. But I trust him, he’s never lied before, I’ve never been presented with any evidence that he does, and we are really open with our electronics, passwords, bank statements, etc.

All that I’m advocating for is that we don’t jump to conclusions about this guy. I think that it is pretty common for men to not get upset at the idea of their wives looking at porn, or to even like their wives looking at porn. But that inherent sexual interest that men have does not mean that they are selfish or unwilling to stay away from it because they know how it makes their wives feel.

 

[Jon_S_1]

The OP’s husband is really taking a beating on this thread. He did not “recommend” that she view porn, he said that he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

My husband wouldn’t have a problem with me viewing porn either, but he doesn’t watch it.

Actually, I’m 99.9999% sure that if one night while my husband was playing a video game I got up and told him I was going to go to bed and watch an “adult movie”, his eyebrows would shoot straight up with interest/excitement, and 3 minutes later I would get a gentle knock on the door asking if I would like to turn fantasy into reality.

Again, he doesn’t use porn and hasn’t for years. Could be be looking on his phone behind my back? Sure, I could do the same to him. But I trust him, he’s never lied before, I’ve never been presented with any evidence that he does, and we are really open with our electronics, passwords, bank statements, etc.

All that I’m advocating for is that we don’t jump to conclusions about this guy. I think that it is pretty common for men to not get upset at the idea of their wives looking at porn, or to even like their wives looking at porn. But that inherent sexual interest that men have does not mean that they are selfish or unwilling to stay away from it because they know how it makes their wives feel.

As a man , I think you are incredibly naive.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

As a man , I think you are incredibly naive.

So you’d rather talk about me than the issue? Nice.

 

[Jon_S_1]

So you’d rather talk about me than the issue? Nice.

No, but your posts regarding men and porn use are completely naive. I would encourage you to learn more about the prevalence of pornography usage and it’s addictive and damaging effects.

I would say 100% of the non Christian men I know view regular pornography and of those,100% of the ones whose wives opposes it hide and lie about it.

Of practicing Catholics it’s far harder to know because they hide it from everyone, but studies show 70% (and it’s probably higher) regularly view pornography. 50% of Christian men say they are addicted to porn.

The fact that men are “grooming” their wives to think porn is not a big deal is a sign that should not be avoided.

I’d highly recommend people check out Covenanteyes.com it should be on every family computer.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

No, but your posts regarding men and porn use are completely naive. I would encourage you to learn more about the prevalence of pornography usage and it’s addictive and damaging effects.

I would say 100% of the non Christian men I know view regular pornography and of those,100% of the ones whose wives opposes it hide and lie about it.

Of practicing Catholics it’s far harder to know because they hide it from everyone, but studies show 70% (and it’s probably higher) regularly view pornography. 50% of Christian men say they are addicted to porn.

The fact that men are “grooming” their wives to think porn is not a big deal is a sign that should not be avoided.

I’d highly recommend people check out Covenanteyes.com it should be on every family computer.

I know several non Christian men who don’t use porn. One of them has some sexual issues, so he stays away from it to ensure that he’s always ready to go when is wife is. Another used to when he was younger, but generally lost interest as he got older. I know a couple that stopped while in relationships with women who were hurt by it, but all went back upon breaking up-except for the guy who married the woman he gave it up for. My husband and I were both near daily users, but when we got serious I sat him down for a talk and we spent several hours going over our thoughts and feelings about it. Again, I can’t be sure he hasn’t used it since, because I don’t keep a trail on my husband, but I have no reason to think he has. We have software that allows us to remotely access each other’s computers at any time, I have access to all of his accounts, and he can access mine, we don’t have separate tablets or computers, we just grab whichever we need that day. I guess it could be on his phone, but I’ve never seen it and I’m free to pick up his phone whenever I’d like to. I’ve seen the data charges though, and he doesn’t use much. And since we live in a studio apartment…you get the point. After 4 years and not so much as a shred of evidence, I’m going to trust my husband over the “statistics” that you “would say” about non Christian men.

Believe it or not, there really are people out there who put their spouses above what their sexually in the mood for at any given moment. Sure, these people may not be in the majority, but they exist.

If you re-read the OP, she’s concerned that her husband only refrains from porn because it hurts her. That’s a good thing! He’s giving up something that he likes, and that he probably thinks is harmless, to protect his wife’s feelings. And she admits that she hasn’t even mentioned the TV show to him yet! So far, he sounds like a pretty upstanding guy that I can’t find a lot of fault with. I’m not saying that this fault doesn’t exist, but that we shouldn’t just assume that it is there. That isn’t fair to the husband or to the OP.

And again, I see no evidence that he is grooming her to be ok with porn. He’s allowed to have his feelings on it, and he’s allowed to state them. But saying honestly that “yeah, I’d be fine with it if you looked at porn” is a world away from “hey baby, you know what would be really fun for you to try tonight…”

 

[Allegra]

He’s allowed to have his feelings on it, and he’s allowed to state them. …"

He is allowed to have his own feelings, but I would be really horrified to find out that the many I chose to raise my sons into men and teach my daughters to respect themselves didn’t see a problem with porn. For that reason, I think it’s really important that couples hash out this issue prior to marriage and maybe even prior to engagement.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

He is allowed to have his own feelings, but I would be really horrified to find out that the many I chose to raise my sons into men and teach my daughters to respect themselves didn’t see a problem with porn. For that reason, I think it’s really important that couples hash out this issue prior to marriage and maybe even prior to engagement.

Of course it should be. I would recommend discussions about things like this happen before serious dating and emotional attachments.

However, in this case it wasn’t. It would be unfair to hold his views against him. If he doesn’t do it to protect his wife and marriage, then he deserves to be commended. I’ve known a lot of men who would think it was ridiculous and refuse to budge regardless of the hurt it caused.

I gave up using nicknames for a couple of my male friends because it made my husband feel jealous and less important, though I maintain that the nicknames were harmless. I stopped using them because I love him, and he’s happy with that. If he started getting upset that I don’t think it’s a big deal and focused on getting me to see things his way, we would have a lot of fights.

 

[elise526]

Oh my gosh, I don’t even know where to start. I checked this thread in the morning, have been juggling the kids all day, and come back to this… wow, lol.

First, I just want to clear up that actually I did talk to him about the TV show. Actually he’s always known I have a problem with graphic sex and violence in TV shows and movies, and specifically this show.

Second, I’m not talking about Game of Thrones. I’m talking about the Sopranos. However, I obviously put Game of Thrones in the same book and it might even be worse, I don’t know. I’m sure he would probably like that show too if he started watching it.

We talked a little bit about it last night but he is working a double shift today and tomorrow and so he really just wants to sleep when he is home so can’t have a long conversation about all of this. But he does know where I stand, he does know how upset I am by this, but he does refuse to give up the show knowing where I stand on it. He basically just keeps insisting that it isn’t porn, but really hasn’t made a valid argument in his case. And he says that it’s just “T&A” and that “does nothing for him.” I just can’t really believe that, though. Can a guy really watch a naked woman doing sexual things to/with a man on a regular basis and never look at that lustfully and be turned on by it?

I really don’t know if he looks at porn or not. Like I said, we share a computer but he can use the private browsing. He has looked at porn in the past without me knowing about it so he might be now too. I know where he works there is porn magazines lying around all the time. He told me there was. I would imagine if he really looked at them he probably wouldn’t have told me. He has also told me that he doesn’t really masturbate anymore either. I’d imagine he only does in moments of weakness, but he knows he can pretty much count on sex whenever he wants it.

We did talk a little bit about it last night. He says he does not think that porn is a good thing because it objectifies people. I just don’t think he realizes exactly how damaging it is, and I don’t think he considers it adultery if a spouse watches porn.

I am so thankful for the people who agree with me about these shows. I literally feel like I am the only one who has a problem with them and like there is something wrong with me and I am an over-the-top prude. But I just honestly don’t see the difference between a nude explicit sex scene in a TV show and a porn video. There are videos in porn shops that have a “storyline” too. There’s just no reason to have that type of thing in a show, and I think it is desensitizing people. Sure, it might be a very interesting show with great acting and storylines, etc. But if there are things in a show that are so immoral, I just can’t watch it with a good conscience. It takes away from the show for me and as a Catholic I don’t want to condone it. I just can’t be entertained by things that I know are immoral. And it disturbs me that my husband is.

Also, as far as talking about these things before marriage, we did. When we got married he was at a much better place spiritually. I mentioned that we were without internet for about 2 years. It was his idea because of the whole porn thing. He’s said multiple times how bad he thinks it is. That’s why I’m so shocked that he said what he did to me. I think things have gone downhill for him spiritually and his convictions have as well.