Husband Ordained Online and wants to officate at a co-workers wedding

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wltdsnymom65

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I’m feeling a little confused at the moment and could use some words of advice, wisdom and prayers.

My husband’s co-worker called today to ask if his “ordination certificate” had arrived in the mail. Confused, I simply replied nothing came in the mail today. About an hour ago, an envelope arrived from the same Online Ministry she mentioned.

She proceeded to tell me how excited she and her fiancee were that my husband had agreed to officiate at their wedding. She said they needed his certificate so they could all go to the courthouse and finish up the paperwork for the marriage license.

The couple are baptized Christians, and are now “agnostic spiritualists and wiccan”.

I’m not sure who else to ask about this. Our priests are on retreat for the week, so no one is available until next week. I certainly can wait until they return but was wondering if anyone here might have an answer, thought or opinion on this.

I checked here on Catholic Answers and found an answer in the Topics section. It states that unless they are a Justice of the Peace or Judge it is a sin.

Prayers, words of wisdom and advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m really not sure how to approach my husband with this.

Blessings
 
Is your husband a Catholic?

If so, that would be a violation of Church teaching.

If not, the Catholic Church generally does not comment on the ordination of other denominations.
 
Well of course it is wrong for a Catholic to attempt to be “ordained” in some other Christian denomination or whatever this “online ministry” is.

It is not inherently wrong for a Catholic layperson to witness a valid non-Catholic marriage (i.e. no prior marriages, no impediments, no “same sex” attempt, etc) as a civil servant such as a JP or judge.

It is wrong for a Catholic to seek “ordination” or otherwise attempt to become a non-Catholic “minister”. That is a formal act of schism or heresy.

So, of course, it comes down to whether or not your husband is a Catholic.
 
I agree with the previous posters, with the added caveat that if he is posing as a member of a religion he does not belong to, there is the integrity question, too. Just because some people are willing to act as a front for a non-existent religion so others can pose as ministers of that same non-existent religion in order to do weddings that the state would not allow them to do if the full truth were known doesn’t mean its honest to do that. “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink” is not much of a moral code, and with legal matters it is not without its perils. (Will the bride and groom pay the fine and legal costs if the state ever decides to take exception to the sort of deceit your husband may have been asked to perpetrate on their behalf, BTW–if it is in fact illegal or deceitful, that is? Just sayin’…)

If your state allows private citizens to act as a “justice of the peace” in this type of situation (as an unpaid witness to a wedding ceremony on behalf of the state, I mean) without implying a non-existent or false religious affiliation, then that would be OK for him to perform a civil ceremony for non-Catholics, provided he does not pose as someone he is not.
 
Anyone can get a.ordination certificate, answer some questions, pay your money, you can marry people , etc. My friend who is an atheist got his, he did it to prove a point.
 
KrazyKat said:
Anyone can get a.ordination certificate, answer some questions, pay your money, you can marry people , etc. My friend who is an atheist got his, he did it to prove a point.
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It is one thing for an atheist who does not even believe in God to pretend to be ordained to a non-existent religion, as he *might be invincibly ignorant to the virtue of religion through no fault of his own. It is quite another for a Catholic to pretend to be a minister when his bishop has not ordained him to that office. Catholics do not get to “rent themselves out” to other religions as ministers. I mean that not even a legitimately ordained priest or deacon could apply for a false ordination certificate or perform weddings their bishop has not given them permission to perform, even though they are really *ordained!
 
He has larger spiritual issues if this in fact is a real situation.
 
Third thing to consider: I’ve been to weddings officiated by someone who was doing his first wedding after having mailed off his boxtops to get an “ordination certificate”. It was* painfully obvious *that he had never done a wedding in his life…painfully obvious! It is harder than it looks, let us just say that, and most people who have ever been to a wedding have seen someone who knew what they were doing. Even those who have never been to a wedding have seen trained actors act the part on TV or on the stage. They’ll know an amateur when they see one. It is not pretty.

Even if it were totally OK in your state to become a “JP for a Day” in order to officiate at a civil wedding, your husband still might be far wiser to leave officiating weddings to someone with some experience. This is the kind of thing that leads to memory nightmares.
 
EasterJoy said:
It is one thing for an atheist who does not even believe in God to pretend to be ordained to a non-existent religion, as he *might be invincibly ignorant to the virtue of religion through no fault of his own. It is quite another for a Catholic to pretend to be a minister when his bishop has not ordained him to that office. Catholics do not get to “rent themselves out” to other religions as ministers. I mean that not even a legitimately ordained priest or deacon could apply for a false ordination certificate or perform weddings their bishop has not given them permission to perform, even though they are really *ordained!
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I agree 100%. 👍
 
It wasn’t the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, was it?
 
wltdsnymom65 said:
I’m feeling a little confused at the moment and could use some words of advice, wisdom and prayers.

My husband’s co-worker called today to ask if his “ordination certificate” had arrived in the mail. Confused, I simply replied nothing came in the mail today. About an hour ago, an envelope arrived from the same Online Ministry she mentioned.

She proceeded to tell me how excited she and her fiancee were that my husband had agreed to officiate at their wedding. She said they needed his certificate so they could all go to the courthouse and finish up the paperwork for the marriage license.

The couple are baptized Christians, and are now “agnostic spiritualists and wiccan”.

I’m not sure who else to ask about this. Our priests are on retreat for the week, so no one is available until next week. I certainly can wait until they return but was wondering if anyone here might have an answer, thought or opinion on this.

I checked here on Catholic Answers and found an answer in the Topics section. It states that unless they are a Justice of the Peace or Judge it is a sin.

Prayers, words of wisdom and advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m really not sure how to approach my husband with this.

Blessings
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If your husband is Catholic he may not practice another religion without comitting a mortal sin agains Faith ( and other serious sins like scandal). This means to accept " ordination " through another religion would be an even graver mortal sin, to exercise that pastorate would be an even graver mortal sin. No he may not marry anyone, he may not act as a minister.

Linus2nd.
 
It is not joining another religion, it’s seeking the ability to officiate at civil weddings. As a matter of fact, I actually signed up for the same thing long ago, but for the civil wedding thing. I do not, nor will I ever, claim to be a minister of some Internet ministry.
 
A person can obtain this ordination certificate without converting to anything. In fact, the website says each person should be able to practice whatever beliefs the person has. It is legal and allows the person to perform civil marriages. I don’t know how the Catholic church would view this if a person who was Catholic got one of these certificates and married someone civilly.
 
Yes, my husband and I are both practicing Catholics.

This online ministry is recognized in our state, and local county.

Thank you for all your answers, and advice, I appreciate it.
 
wltdsnymom65 said:
Yes, my husband and I are both practicing Catholics.

This online ministry is recognized in our state, and local county.

Thank you for all your answers, and advice, I appreciate it.
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I kind of did what your husband is doing. I officiated a co workers wedding. But my one caveat. I would do it IF they were ok with me not getting ordained online.

I put a lot of effort into it and they loved it. And they are still together today.

BUT

I would never do it again. If I could take it back I would. I was just so caught up in the flattery of them asking me. I was the closest thing to a “religious” person they had in their lives. And after the wedding I confessed this and talking with the priest I realized just how weak I was to give into this just because I felt “honored” I missed a chance to set myself apart as Catholic. I missed a chance to stand up for “marriage” And I missed a chance to display character.

I would take it all back now. They should have had someone else do it. I still regret it.
 
If he’s been ordained online, wouldn’t it be funny if the couple had never actually met in person, and only knew each other from Facebook, or something like that? A virtual minister for a virtual wedding of a virtual couple. 😃
 
VanSensei said:
It is not joining another religion, it’s seeking the ability to officiate at civil weddings. As a matter of fact, I actually signed up for the same thing long ago, but for the civil wedding thing. I do not, nor will I ever, claim to be a minister of some Internet ministry.
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If the state does not attach any religious significance to it, but allows citizens to apply to officiate at weddings just as they might apply for a concealed weapons permit, a peddler’s license, or a permit to take a large slow-moving vehicle on a state highway, then a Catholic could act as an officer of a civil court at the non-religious wedding of two non-Catholics.

If the state recognizes this power to perform weddings under a religious exemption, then obtaining that permission is pretending to belong to a different religion and is therefore forbidden by the Church. A Catholic may also not perform the religious rituals of another faith, not even a non-existent faith, except as their bishop gives them permission to do. (A Catholic chaplain, for instance, might have permission to officiate at non-Catholic weddings if he had religious charge of people of many faiths, particularly in a place where a chaplain belonging to the faith of the couple could not be had.)
 
I’m ordained online through the Universal Life Church. It doesn’t require that you profess to believe anything, even in god. It’s headquartered in California, and it predates the internet by several decades, so although online ordinations weren’t their primary purpose, that’s what they’ve become known for.

In some states, you don’t even need to be ordained to perform a wedding. My home state, for example, allows you to have anyone you want marry you, though legally it’s supposed to be someone that you consider to be a religious, spiritual, or moral leader or example. In another state I used live in, you have to be married by a JoP or a minister who is in good standing with a church that is physically located in that state. In that case, the Universal Life Church would just assign you to one of their churches located in the state and put it on paper that you were a minister in good standing there.

Basically, this is just one big legal loophole. As for whether or not it’s a religious loophole, I can’t say. I would recommend finding out what church ordained him and taking information about it to your priest to get his advice on the moral issues and what you could say to your husband.
 
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences about this issue. I really appreciate it.

I will be talking to my parish priest this afternoon.

Blessings to you all. 🙂
 
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