Husband refuses to go to church with me

[teach30]

I am a happily married wife for twenty years. My husband treats me with so much respect and puts his family before himself on a daily basis. The one thing that is bothering me is that he will not come to church with our child and me but he is supportive of me going to church and has never said anything negative about my faith formation. I have asked him several times but to no avail. When we were married, we both were not serious about our faith and it was not an issue that was really discussed so I guess I feel guilty about pressuring him a little too much on his lack of dedication in his faith. Now that I have grown in my faith, I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions where I can try to help him grow in his faith and return to the Church? He is also Catholic and was brought up in a much more devout Catholic family than I was. I guess I am just wondering if I should just let this issue go and continue to pray for him or if I should continue asking him every few weeks if he would like to go to church with us. Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[prstoessel]

Start with asking him to pray with you every day. If he won’t pray with you, but you say you are happily married, my next suggestion would be to make a Marriage Encounter weekend. This will help him (and you) learn to communicate better and pray together.

You must be willing to accept this is God’s time. Do not badger him. Be a witness. Be the best witness you can be. Find an Opus Dei or some other well-formed retreat center for him and encourage him to go so he can have some rest and reflection.

 

[omegapd]

Growing up, my Father went to church with us on Christmas Eve and that was it. My mother and I were in Mass a few times a week. It was what it was. I don’t know if my mom ever asked him to go more and he refused or what actually happened.

I can safely say that pressuring your husband to go will do no good. A person comes to God when he is ready- the same way an addict or alcoholic has to want to quit using on his own.

Continue to pray for him and we will do the same.

God Bless!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I am a happily married wife for twenty years. My husband treats me with so much respect and puts his family before himself on a daily basis. The one thing that is bothering me is that he will not come to church with our child and me but he is supportive of me going to church and has never said anything negative about my faith formation. I have asked him several times but to no avail. When we were married, we both were not serious about our faith and it was not an issue that was really discussed so I guess I feel guilty about pressuring him a little too much on his lack of dedication in his faith. Now that I have grown in my faith, I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions where I can try to help him grow in his faith and return to the Church? He is also Catholic and was brought up in a much more devout Catholic family than I was. I guess I am just wondering if I should just let this issue go and continue to pray for him or if I should continue asking him every few weeks if he would like to go to church with us. Any advice would be appreciated!

Yes, pray. Yes, continue to ask, but only if you can do it in a light and pleasant way, not begging, and not whining, and not pressuring him. Pray that his heart would be pierced by the Holy Spirit, and have faith! Pray to Mary. Pray to St. Monica to intercede for your husband. Do not neglect your responsibility to form your child’s faith, even if your husband won’t help. It will be lonely for you in the meantime. DO NOT PRESSURE your husband. Miracles happen, but in the Lord’s time, not ours.

 

[Trishie]

Yes, pray. Yes, continue to ask, but only if you can do it in a light and pleasant way, not begging, and not whining, and not pressuring him. Pray that his heart would be pierced by the Holy Spirit, and have faith! Pray to Mary. Pray to St. Monica to intercede for your husband. Do not neglect your responsibility to form your child’s faith, even if your husband won’t help. It will be lonely for you in the meantime. DO NOT PRESSURE your husband. Miracles happen, but in the Lord’s time, not ours.

I agree.
God bless your family.
It is a great blessing that your husband is respectful towards you regarding your own faith and formation. That is a gift that many a Catholic spouse yearns for and lacks.

 

[Kelfa28]

Pray, pray and pray…and then pray some more.

It really works!

Continue to be a good influence on him in regards to the faith. Educate your child in the faith and have your child be a good influence on your husband.

But I agree with everyone else…do not nag or pressure him to do anything. Let the Lord do his work.

 

[Rudy_Baga]

Great responses here. True you cannot force him and should not make it a subject of tension between yourselves. Better to make the example for your child and continue to pray that he will one day join you. Asking patiently without pressure if he would like to join you. Live by example and remember 1 Cor 7:14 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”

 

[Nabooru]

Every Sunday morning, I get up, and tell my mother, “I’m going to church. Wanna go?” I always do it cheerfully, and then respectfully accept her answer. She always refuses, but each time she gets a little bit more uncomfortable with saying no.

Maybe someday, for both of us.

Edit: Also, it doesn’t hurt that her parents go to church and I discuss it with them whenever they’re all around - grandparents and mother.