Husband, Traditions and Being Half a Catholic

[PetiteFoi]

Hello,
I’m a newbie here and I really signed up for this forum to get advice about this issue:

I grew up in the Catholic church/school and was baptized/confirmed etc.
However it didn’t become a living faith until I was 15, my family left the Catholic church and went to a Reform Presbyterian Church (talk about both sides of the spectrum eh?)
When I was married (to a Christian man who was non-denominational) We went out again and found our church; a Vineyard Church (but an oddly quiet one - I don’t do charismatic worship. Though hubby was raised on it)

Anyway, we were blessed with a daughter who is a 1.5 and I’m starting to miss the traditions and liturgical calender of the Catholic church.
My family is very close knit and big on Traditions - I believe traditions can really keep a family glued together.

About every 6-9 months or so I feel that ‘tug’ back to the Catholic church. Hubby doesn’t understand it at all, but he has no issue with me going to Mass or celebrating the feasts like Lent. Now he doesn’t want to participate, but he doesn’t mind.

He’s having a bit of a crisis of faith right now - we as a couple have been through some hard times, though Praise God, we’re really healing .
He finds himself uninterested in his walk and spirituality. And a take it or leave it attitude about Church.

I find in those times I tend to cling tighter to my faith, and seeing his cool like this is worrisome for me.

I guess all this to say: Can I do this? Go to one church with my husband and also follow the catholic calendar and go to Mass when I can?
Or should I follow my husbands leadership and stay with him and encourage our relationships at our current church?

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

Peace,
PetiteFoi

 

[Scottgun]

I feel for you because I converted before my wife and it was a tough road to walk. It also makes me sense a duty to give it to you straight, no chaser: you need to choose between being a non-Catholic and being a full Catholic rather than a half-Catholic. It’s boolean. Either the Catholic Church is the One Holy Apostolic Church or it isn’t (frankly if it isn’t, then it is all bosh). You have a Sunday obligation meaning you need to be at Mass every Sunday and other Holy days, observe the proscribed fasts, and affirm all its doctrines.

My prayers go with you.

 

[1ke]

I suggest you make an appointment with the pastor of your local Catholic Church and talk to him about all your issues.

 

[shipwrkd]

I suggest you make an appointment with the pastor of your local Catholic Church and talk to him about all your issues.

Ike is right about this and since you husband is having a crisis of faith right now, it may be a good idea to invite him along. Perhaps you’ll both find what you’re looking for.

 

[JRKH]

I suggest you make an appointment with the pastor of your local Catholic Church and talk to him about all your issues.

Ike is right about this and since you husband is having a crisis of faith right now, it may be a good idea to invite him along. Perhaps you’ll both find what you’re looking for.

I agree with the above. Talk to your pastor.

As for letting your husband lead…It doesn’t seem like he IS leading. In which case it is important for you to be the rock of faith in order to give him something to hold on to.

The fact that you ask the question about flip-flopping - attending both churches etc, indicates that you need to do some studying as well so that you can make the most informed decision.
By the way that “tug” is most likely the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
That is what "tugged’ me back home to the Church.

Peace
James

 

[hydin]

I really feel for you. It must be tough and hard with a new baby and everything. I agree with everything said above. Being Catholic is a yes or no question. Hard teaching but true.

As far as leading… he is not leading you as the Bible (any Bible) teaches. It never says to follow your husband if he leads you astray. His responsibility is listed first… then it says the follow part… I love the story of Jesus’ first miracle. His Mom hears him say “Woman it is not my time” and turns to the servants and says " do what he tells you". She left it up to Him to decide (He is God) but did not back down from her position on Jesus helping out. God is calling you. Maybe He is calling your Husband? New Protestant or Evangelical church communities lack the full church teaching of Jesus and Pastors choose to preach on what fits their interpretation of the Bible at the time. In essence they are their own Pope. Your husband may have started to see this weakness in Vineyard. It is considered a toned down evangelical church and he is used to the worship of an evangelical church. It is more difficult for him to get caught up in the songs and good feelings that cover up the lack of full teachings at a normal evangelical church. They tend to focus on making the individual feel good about himself and their personal view of God. It is what Dr. Ray sums up as “I believe in God and He thinks just like ME”. Maybe he is grasping for morel and has never been exposed to the real Catholic Faith. You can be slightly sneaky and leave a book are article you have read on the bathroom floor… If he is searching he will pick it up… but not have to let you know he has done so. One book I have given to evangelicals who are searching is By what Authority by Shea. It hits the biggest issue that most have with the Church with concrete examples and is less than a 1/2 think so it does not seem threatening. It the journey of an Evangelical, Mark Shea, from Sola Scriptura (Bible alone) to understanding and embracing the Traditions and its use by the Catholic Church. You may also enjoy it. Not preachy… it is the story of searching for “More” documented with facts. Just a thought. Start going to Mass each Sunday or Saturday night (then go with Him Sunday morning). If he objects invite him to come with you or start to swap off each week. one week Vineyard, one week Catholic. Seems like having kids brings out the religion in most folks. Pray to the Holy Spirit that He intercede with your husband and that He grants you peace and strength on your journey back home. I will pray for you. Remember, even Jesus was not taken seriously in his home town… Do not try and convert your Husband. Lead by example. When he asks questions answer them. If you push you will face a showdown you do not want to face. Men have egos… He also is feeling pressure from his upbringing and family. He will need strength and support if he chooses to follow you to the Catholic Church. You, on the other hand have been exposed to the one Church that can trace its roots back to Jesus. There is one Catholic Church and always has been. Teachings are never changing. When Martin Luther revolted and changed fundamental teachings Christians held all over the world (they were all Catholic) for 1500 years of the 2000 years since Jesus. Once a reinterpretation of (change) of Church doctrine was put forth by Luther, almost immediately Calvin and others had slightly different takes on Luther… and so on and so on including the founding of Vineyard in the 1960’s.and the other 35,000 denominations that were derived from Luther to date. I am just a guy but I find it hard to believe that the Holy Spirit hid the truth from all believers for 1500 years (Luther) or 1900 years (Vineyard). Jesus promised his Church would be protected. I have done much reading and research into what those who followed Jesus as eyewitnesses practiced in worship of him after He returned to Heaven. I also looked at how the students of these men worshiped Jesus… It is amazingly similar to the Catholic Mass. In some areas the exact words are used. They believed that the Eucharist was the real presence. They practiced confession of sins. It was almost scary how things remain the same. It must be God’s work. The Catholic Church is made up of men and women. Humans would certainly have found ways to screw it up by now… in some cases we almost did… but something kept things true to how Jesus’ original followers practiced their Faith. I choose to believe that something is the Holy Spirit protecting his Church just as Jesus said He would.

 

[PetiteFoi]

Thank you all very much for your responses! I did mostly expect the “there is no middle ground” response though I was afraid to hear it.

As far as leading… he is not leading you as the Bible (any Bible) teaches. It never says to follow your husband if he leads you astray. His responsibility is listed first… then it says the follow part… I love the story of Jesus’ first miracle. His Mom hears him say “Woman it is not my time” and turns to the servants and says " do what he tells you". She left it up to Him to decide (He is God) but did not back down from her position on Jesus helping out. God is calling you. Maybe He is calling your Husband? New Protestant or Evangelical church communities lack the full church teaching of Jesus and Pastors choose to preach on what fits their interpretation of the Bible at the time. In essence they are their own Pope. Your husband may have started to see this weakness in Vineyard. It is considered a toned down evangelical church and he is used to the worship of an evangelical church. It is more difficult for him to get caught up in the songs and good feelings that cover up the lack of full teachings at a normal evangelical church. They tend to focus on making the individual feel good about himself and their personal view of God. It is what Dr. Ray sums up as “I believe in God and He thinks just like ME”. Maybe he is grasping for morel and has never been exposed to the real Catholic Faith. You can be slightly sneaky and leave a book are article you have read on the bathroom floor… If he is searching he will pick it up… but not have to let you know he has done so. One book I have given to evangelicals who are searching is By what Authority by Shea. It hits the biggest issue that most have with the Church with concrete examples and is less than a 1/2 think so it does not seem threatening. It the journey of an Evangelical, Mark Shea, from Sola Scriptura (Bible alone) to understanding and embracing the Traditions and its use by the Catholic Church. You may also enjoy it. Not preachy… it is the story of searching for “More” documented with facts. Just a thought. Start going to Mass each Sunday or Saturday night (then go with Him Sunday morning). If he objects invite him to come with you or start to swap off each week. one week Vineyard, one week Catholic. Seems like having kids brings out the religion in most folks. Pray to the Holy Spirit that He intercede with your husband and that He grants you peace and strength on your journey back home. I will pray for you. Remember, even Jesus was not taken seriously in his home town… Do not try and convert your Husband. Lead by example. When he asks questions answer them. If you push you will face a showdown you do not want to face. Men have egos… He also is feeling pressure from his upbringing and family. He will need strength and support if he chooses to follow you to the Catholic Church. You, on the other hand have been exposed to the one Church that can trace its roots back to Jesus.

My husband is… disillusioned with the whole church idea, he really feels like he’s “heard it all before” all the sermons are wishy-washy and lacking “theological meat.”
Because I was in the RP church for such a long time and they are HUGE on theology the break from hard-core doctrine a’la real life application from an evangelical church was a nice break.
Not to mention I had a lot of issues with Calvanism, the Elect, etc.
Maybe, like you suggested, he is wanting something “deeper” but doesn’t know where to look for it. The only mass he’s ever been to was for Christmas Eve Midnight Mass when his family celebrates Revillion. (french-canadian thing)
We are Complimentarian, I believe in leadership of my husband and submission when called for. However I can happily submit to my husband because I trust his decisions and enjoy his leadership.
I wouldn’t say he’s ‘leading me astray’ - he happily watched the little one so I could attend an Ash Wednesday Mass and happily goes along with my Lenten celebrations.
To be honest, he’s always been my rock when it came to faith, during our most stressful times it would be him who would calm me and remind me that God is in control.
But lately…he just doesn’t have the interest.
I look at the Jewish people and I see their culture. Their faith is forever woven within their daily lives and how they live.
I see the Catholic church and see the same culture of faith and I desire it! Not only for myself but for my Husband and children.
I’m tired of living in a watered-down version of my faith, where the lines are so blurred I can’t tell the difference between a biblical truth and political correctness.
Hydin, I’m a little ahead of you - I did get out some lit on the Catholic church and it’s already in the bathroom. lol!
Even though I think I could convince my husband to do a trade off with a RC church and our Vineyard, because of the age of our little one, one of us have to be running around with her, constantly.
She does go to nursery however, so maybe my Husband and I actually would get to sit together and listen?
It’s been a while since I’ve been to a Sunday Mass, so I’m a little rusty on what the order of service is like…

Peace,

• PetiteFoi

 

[SonCatcher]

PetiteFoi,

Sadly, it doesn’t seem from your posts that your husband has taken leadership of your family’s spiritual life. Look to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. It does seem that He is leading you in how you should worship.

Since your husband comes from a more charismatic background, perhaps you could find a parish that is involved in the charismatic renewal in order to revive his interest (I understand that doesn’t appeal to you, but the Mass is still the Mass and will have the order you are familiar with - I suggest this primarily because you are also called to help him in his journey to Heaven).

As 1ke, wrote, make an appointment with a priest. He will help you on your way home.

 

[hydin]

PetiteFoi, no worries on the order of Mass- sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, Kneel, stand, Kneel, (sometimes sit), stand, go home. Seriously, check this site out… It is the UCCB (the Catholic Bishop’s site for the US). Here is a link directly to the new (changed slightly in wording last year to be a better translation, we are all still stumbling through it… changed things like “and also with you” to “and with your Spirit.” other changes in Creed and the with the passage that was ". I am not worthy to receive you. to a more biblical (most of the Mass comes from the Bible itself) I am not worthy to receive you under my roof (what the centurion said to Jesus when he asked that his child be healed).

old.usccb.org/romanmissal/order-of-mass.pdf

Some may call me out on this but check out the church before you take your husband. Find a relatively young Priest (35 - 40) who is similar to the protestant pastors… All priests are wonderful and have distinct gifts. You need to show your husband that Catholics can be excited about our Faith. I am in Atlanta and go to an amazing parish that people come from miles around to attend. You can change to a closer Church if you decide to come back home. Speaking of that, here is the coming home website. May want to show your husband the Lou Holtz clip and interview if he is a football nut-funny but packed with truth and points out the differences gently…
catholicscomehome.org/ Here is a direct link to the Lou Holtz stuff (he is on ESPN and was a college coach, your husband will know who he is…) catholicscomehome.org/our-evangomercials/ Lou Holtz interview… it was in press on the site. here is a direct link. vimeo.com/53152768

You might also like to watch these videos. Great, funny but message filled parish mission.
transfiguration.com/
(the site is being upgraded so the link in the middle of the page is not working now but will… Mike Patin, Awakening. for a short recap watch the "transfiguration today clip… I think it is the first story. gives very short glimpses of the event… if you like it check back in a couple days and click the link in the middle of the page… Good Stuff…

He may see you laughing and wonder what is going on… you will laugh… and at points get a little uncomfortable. I did. (good old Catholic guilt) I have grown in my Faith tremendously over the past 8 years. I started to check things out about what I believed. I never doubted but wanted to understand the basics better. I was shocked at what I found. The Church today is doing what the first followers of Jesus did. there are documents that show that. this is a very early church document newadvent.org/fathers/0714.htm

I have loaded you up with a bunch of stuff. I was on this site for the first time in months and the very first time in this forum… guess I was meant to be here for a reason. God is good! I also encourage you to pray on this. OK, here I go again. I have my body armor on. Not stock prayers… sure you can do some… but just a conversation with God. Let Him know your thoughts - the raw ones. the frustrations. confusion disappointments. Once you are doing that (you may be already) I think you will find answers coming to you. I am excited you are giving the Catholic Church a second chance. I hope we are the next stop on your families faith journey. If not I pray you find a church that lights a fire of Faith in you AND your husband. Everyone has a different path to follow. May yours bring you peace! I will keep an eye on this forum for responses or questions. If you like or dislike something say it. My advice is not worth much unless it hits home. The most important thing is that you find comfort and peace for your family. For me I was like Peter in a way… where else would I go… (I love St. Peter… he made some really “interesting” moves but Jesus loved him and gave him the Keys to his Kingdom. A guy who denied him 3 times - AFTER he was told he would. My pride tells me I could have stopped at two times.)

On another subject, one you did not ask about … Here I preach… always find time to date your husband (he should date you also). My kids are very close together… 3 kids under 4 years old at one time. I know all about running around… they out numbered us. But they are gone after 18 years and your marriage remains…I have seen too many marriages crack because all the sudden the kids are gone and the couple has focused only on the kids… they don’t know each other. The man resents the wife for time spent with the children… (Men - we won’t admit it but it is true… we miss being the focus of your life… love the kids but also feel we are 3rd, 4th or 5 on the list at times) which is horribly unfair. Being a Mom is extremely difficult… I worked out of the house and saw it first hand. Men also don’t talk… until they explode. Me man, me strong, Even on those occasions that you are wiped out try to let him know how much you love him, how you would show it if you had the energy, look into his eyes and propose another time. Takes a couple of minutes max but even a Man gets it when served up like that. Ignore what you choose, no need to respond to this preaching… great thing about advice is you don’t have to take it… most important thing about advice is you are not required to tell the person giving it you are not going to take it… Just felt like sharing that… maybe for you, maybe for someone else who sees this post… don’t know…

May God continue to bless you. You are starting an amazing journey that will benefit your family. Enjoy the ride. Take nothing at someone’s word. Faith is to important to not investigate. Eternity is a long time. Hydin

 

[gardenswithkids]

…To be honest, he’s always been my rock when it came to faith, during our most stressful times it would be him who would calm me and remind me that God is in control.
But lately…he just doesn’t have the interest. …

Hello and welcome to CAF.

My husband was Protestant while I’m a cradle Catholic who attended protestant services with him for a while. My husband’s coversion was a long process during the first decade of our marriage. If your husband “doesn’t have the interest” right now, that may make it easier for you to return to the Catholic Church–because he is not taking a strong stand against the Catholic church. If he’s not opposed to your return, just pray for him and patiently let him watch you growing in holiness and behave more lovingly to him and your child.

… …
…It’s been a while since I’ve been to a Sunday Mass, so I’m a little rusty on what the order of service is like…

If you weren’t already aware, you might want to know that the English translation to the prayers of the Mass went through some slight changes last year. They weren’t huge changes–mostly just a word or phrase here or there.

Welcome back!

 

[PetiteFoi]

Thank you Hydin for your informative post! I will most certainly be checking out your resources!

So today for the first time in ages I went to a Sunday Mass.
Our church is having a family retreat that we were unable to go to, which meant no church service today - opportune for me though, to visit the Catholic church.

The Mass was nice, I was able to follow along easily enough and enjoyed the homily.
My Husband stayed home with the baby.
There doesn’t appear to be a nursery for little ones, and my daughter is at an age where she won’t and can’t understand to sit still.
Which basically means either my husband or I will have to running after her the entire mass.
Hardly something I want to be doing when my Husband is so uncertain about Catholicism in the first place, I want o be able to sit and actually worship with him.
So that’s making me think that this really may not be the season to get involved with the Catholic church.

We did have a good discussion about the Mass, and the Catholic church vs. our Evangelical one this morning, so that’s good I suppose.

I feel like a faker.
I don’t fit in at my home church, and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb in the Catholic church. I just so want my Husband to be excited about his faith again - even if it is our Vineyard church.
So I guess, I just mostly feel alone.

I was so excited about making a centerpiece for Lent, a reminder for the season, you know? And now I hardly have the heart to even put it together - I feel foolish for reading Catholic Lenten readings, when I don’t go to a Catholic church and my husband has no interest.
Lately I’ve been praying through the sorrowful mysteries on my rosary, and while it’s comforting, I just keep getting this voice telling me: “what are you doing? You’re not even Catholic?! Why are you wasting your time?”
So then I feel like a faker, or “poser” I suppose would be a more appropriate term.

Remember when you were in your teen years and you were really figuring out who you are? What type of person? Morals? Ideals?
I feel like that all over again - I’m so full of questions and don’t know what’s real or just flash-in-a-pan.

Sorry to grumble like this, I just feel heart heavy today.

Peace,
PetiteFoi (little faith)

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Lately I’ve been praying through the sorrowful mysteries on my rosary, and while it’s comforting, I just keep getting this voice telling me: “what are you doing? ***You’re not even Catholic?! ***Why are you wasting your time?”
So then I feel like a faker, or “poser” I suppose would be a more appropriate term.

Remember when you were in your teen years and you were really figuring out who you are? What type of person? Morals? Ideals?
I feel like that all over again - I’m so full of questions and don’t know what’s real or just flash-in-a-pan.

Sorry to grumble like this, I just feel heart heavy today.

Peace,
PetiteFoi (little faith)

But you ARE Catholic!!

I have been/am in a very similar place.
Husband & I were both cradle-Catholics. We both left the Church as young adults.

I spent most of my early adult years a “spiritual, not religious”, attending different churches, trying to find my way “home”. About 10 years ago, I came back to the Church. My husband did not. We do not have children, so that has not been an issue, but it is difficult. I wanted so much for my husband to come to understand and love the faith just like I do. And that is where my problem was. I wanted something for him, that he is not ready to accept.

I continue to “live” my faith the best way I know how, and pray that someday my husband will return, and for now, all I can do is live out the Gospel message in my thoughts, words & actions, and pray!

 

[hydin]

The feeling of standing out is absolutely normal. You are uncomfortable because you have one foot in and one foot out of the Church. I am not being critical of you, just observational. How else would you feel? One huge downside of most Catholic Churches is our excitement factor… Churches that are newer do what they do on purpose. I have actually been to an entire day with 3,000 Pastors or soon to be evangelical pastors run by two of the best known new church leaders. It was billed as a leadership event but ended up being completely about planting churches. How to draw people and keep them coming back. Catholics stink at that for the most part. We are not profiting from our attendance like other churches. A Catholic Bishop makes around 30K. Do not feel like you are an outsider. Jesus has you coming for a reason. Check out a couple of other Parishes around you. Find a younger Priest and a fun parish. Their websites can tell you so much about them. Remember though, one of Grapevines reasons for being so welcoming is that it is a for profit church (actually almost a franchise too) made up of people who have decided they can better determine what Jesus meant and thinks are important. They are in that church to make each other feel good about their faith. I have seen that take some of the focus off of God (not saying this about your church). They also tend to skip parts of the Bible that make us feel unworthy at times. You are saying the Rosary without any peer pressure… yet you say you don’t go to church… so what? One small step at a time… we are human, you have a Husband and a little one. God knows that. I will grant you that it is easier to pick another faith. You don’t have to go every week. No confessions… just be sorry and you are good or you are saved and Jesus covers all your sins… Good stuff… I somehow doubt that a preacher who is saving people then sleeps with his secretary is still saved - until he repents… and if we can’t tell if we are really saved… what good is it? We have free will. Excuses are plenty. Pray often. Listen… Next time your little one (sorry I forgot if it was a boy or girl) is sleeping, grab your Rosary, wrap it in your fingers and watch them sleep. Ask God what he wants and let your mind just wander… Don’t try and figure it out… The Catholic Church has been around since Jesus… we are still here in spite of ourselves. We are united as we do the exact same mass in every language each week, no matter what the language. You have been away. You are being drawn back. Not because of the music or a great speaker… for God. He loves us more than we can imagine. He knows us better than we could ever know ourselves. Let him help. Maybe the Parish you are attending needs you and your spirit. It is you who is meant to have an impact on them. When we attend Church it is for one purpose, to worship Him. He is the focus. Look at how Jesus was treated. How much Mary suffered watching her Son be crucified, die on the cross and then have a Roman Centurion throw a spear and pierce his heart…I can’t imagine that. But then God gives His Grace to that same Centurion and he kneels and proclaims that Jesus was the Son of God. A God he didn’t know as that spear was leaving his hand. Trust in God. If that path leads you home to the Catholic church you will be celebrated in your return. Don’t let pride stop you from coming back. Don’t let a little one be an excuse. I think you will be surprised how they adopt and learn to behave… I had 3 under 5 and no cry room at all when we moved here. They out numbered us. Did they cry, yes. Was I embarrassed? Sometimes. I realized that those who were giving dirty looks… they needed prayers, my prayers because they had crosses they were bearing that turned their anger to a crying child instead of inward. It is easy to be a “Christian” but it takes discipline to be a Catholic. I love music, I am a rocker but I am not convinced God wants a stage show and words posted to follow along, hands in the air. HE said something about that… something like when you pray go to your room and close your door… not to draw attention. Hey, God is inviting you back, not somebody down the street. He has a plan for you. Trust Him. No matter what, he won’t let you down. Don’t worry about your husband. If he is letting you discuss Mass with him that is huge. He is listening and watching. Things are happening. Let them. Check out this link mikepatin.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=13&Itemid=6 Our parish website is still down for some reason. It is the guy I mentioned in my last post. Mike Patin… watch the one titled… include me. It is fun… but hits home for me. God loves you. He will guide you and your family. I will be keeping you in my prayers. The first steps are the hardest… May Christ’s Peace be with you and your family. I am here for you if needed… I am not the most knowledgeable Catholic on this site but I feel like I am suppose to be here ( it had been months since I even checked this site when I did and saw your post. I have never been in this exact forum before… Hmmmm

 

[hydin]

I feel like a faker.
I don’t fit in at my home church, and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb in the Catholic church.

So I guess, I just mostly feel alone.

I was so excited about making a centerpiece for Lent, a reminder for the season, you know? And now I hardly have the heart to even put it together - I feel foolish for reading Catholic Lenten readings, when I don’t go to a Catholic church and my husband has no interest.
Lately I’ve been praying through the sorrowful mysteries on my rosary, and while it’s comforting, I just keep getting this voice telling me: “what are you doing? You’re not even Catholic?! Why are you wasting your time?”
So then I feel like a faker, or “poser” I suppose would be a more appropriate term.

Remember when you were in your teen years and you were really figuring out who you are? What type of person? Morals? Ideals?
I feel like that all over again - I’m so full of questions and don’t know what’s real or just flash-in-a-pan.

Sorry to grumble like this, I just feel heart heavy today.

Peace,
PetiteFoi (little faith)

Me again, keeping this short… It hit me a minute ago what might be going on… No expert for sure. You say you don’t fit in at your home church and you stick out like a sore thumb at the Catholic Church…How profound an observation. Your home church in not a good fit anymore. You want more. Welcome to the road many a Protestant pastor has traveled. Here is an amazing clip … it starts out with WHY he left. youtube.com/watch?v=mxDumU0TSrY
As far as sticking out… yes, you do and it is an amazing gift from Christ… you are deciding to become a Catholic again. Most around you show up every Sunday and are there for the hour a week they give to Jesus. You are showing up and seeking to know God and Jesus. To worship his glory. You get it… you are growing in true Faith. It is scary as anything you have ever done. I am hoping you find everything you need in the Catholic Church. I have challenged, poked at, searched for, questioned and protested many things in my faith journey. Every time my faith has come out stronger and the doubt has been answered. Jesus not only embraced Thomas when he wanted to put his fingers through the nail holes, he expected his doubt, opened his hands and basically said… check it out. If an Apostle has doubts, who do you and I think we are? Peter, I love Peter… My pride says I could have stopped at the 2nd denial… Peter didn’t and Jesus put him in place as the lead Apostle for all his Church. Peter walked on water, until he thought about falling in (trust went away… down he goes). read John 6:47- 53 and stop… no peeking.
usccb.org/bible/john/6
Here is the footnote that helps explain the next few lines that few have heard…* [6:54–58] Eats: the verb used in these verses is not the classical Greek verb used of human eating, but that of animal eating: “munch,” “gnaw.” This may be part of John’s emphasis on the reality of the flesh and blood of Jesus (cf. Jn 6:55), but the same verb eventually became the ordinary verb in Greek meaning “eat.” Then continue reading until verse 69 or to the end. “It is hard”… Gnaw…not easy to swallow. Jesus knows. Trust in Him. Let Him reveal himself to you. Maybe your Lent this year is not about the centerpiece for the table for others to see… maybe it is about you being a “centerpiece” for your family to see… The centerpiece is a symbol of your love for Jesus and appreciation of his suffering… maybe this year He doesn’t want a symbol…He wants your heart…Trust in Him… Talk to him, tell him how confused you are. Share your fears and your doubts. I have no idea what is happening and why. I do see someone seeking to really know Jesus. You are Blessed to have these thoughts. He is smiling since you have “Knocked” at his door. Everything you are going through now has a purpose that only He knows. Trust. You can’t do this… He has to. May Christ grant you Peace.

 

[VivienneJ]

Welcome, PetiteFoi.
One important thing is,

I grew up in the Catholic church/school and was baptized/confirmed etc.

means that this

Lately I’ve been praying through the sorrowful mysteries on my rosary, and while it’s comforting, I just keep getting this voice telling me: “what are you doing? You’re not even Catholic?! Why are you wasting your time?”
So then I feel like a faker, or “poser” I suppose would be a more appropriate term.

is absolutely not true.

In addition, the Rosary is used by many who are not Catholic as a valuable devotion, so there is no reason why, for example, you and your husband could not pray it together (except, I do understand that he may find that absolutely out of the question). Go on praying the Rosary for yourself and to help you feel more comfortable in your Catholic skin.

You will find that you get loads of information in response to questions. By and large, 1ke gives very short, to the point responses. Her advice is good. This is the best first step for you to take:

I suggest you make an appointment with the pastor of your local Catholic Church and talk to him about all your issues.

May this season of Lent culminating in Easter be a time when you can experience the blessing of renewing your Catholic faith.

 

[PetiteFoi]

Hydin and Vivianne,
Thank you for your posts!

I will be listening to the Mike Patin podcasts today.

I’ve had some interesting experiences lately.
Ever since my family went to the RP Church, (which unfortunately in my experience is very against Catholicism) I’ve been nervous to speak about my interest in possibly returning to the Catholic church.
However, I spoke both with my in-laws and my mother about it, and they were very encouraging about me continuing my research into that denomination.
I also found out that when my mother was in her 30’s, she did the entire course to be baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church!
So while she is no longer attending, she did become a full-fledged member at one point.

My husband, is well, pretty much the same, not against it, but not really interested either.
Slow is key with my hubby, so I’m doing a lot of praying and leaving “information lying around.”

I do have a question and would really appreciate someone who could talk to me in layman’s terms about it.

The whole “by grace alone” deal.
The RP’ers promote salvation through grace alone, from my understanding the Catholics believe Grace+Works=Salvation.
I know it refers back to James, eg “Faith without works is dead.”

So all theology aside, when I read that - this is how I interpret it.

We are saved by Grace through Christ.
With true salvation comes the fruits of the spirit - eg. “works”
If I person professes to be Christian, yet it makes zero impact on how they live their lives, or treat other people, then I would have to seriously question the sincerity of their professed faith.

Very chicken-and-the-egg (kinda like Calvanism, buuut we don’t need to get into all of that! )

So, how does my belief line up with Catholic theology? I’m really not sure, and would love someone to point of the differences or similarities for me!

My only other issue is this:

I’ve never 100% agreed with 100% of the theology of ANY church I’ve attended, or was even a member of.
The fundamentals, sure - but absolutely everything?
Nada.

If I were to make the trek back to Catholicism, do I need to absolutely be 100% on board with everything?
If I were to say that in any evangelical church, no one would blink an eye, but I feel like Catholics are a bit more intense about that sorta thing. (again an assumption as I don’t really know for certain!)

Thank you so much guys for your advice and encouragement to keep with my journey!

Peace,

• PetiteFoi

 

[JRKH]

Petitefoi,

Funny you should ask about “grace alone” and faith alone because I was just thinking earlier about the idea of “faith alone” and how Scripture puts conditions on that.
As you mention, St James tells us that faith without works is dead. St Paul tells us that If he has faith but has not love he is nothing. (1 Cor 13:1-13) Jesus tells us that if we do not eat his body and drink his blood we have no life in us.
There may be other references, conditions, attached to faith that I do not recall off hand.
But it seems that a strict “faith alone” position is rather flawed.

The idea of “grace alone” is fine…so long as it is properly understood. THIS might help.

Peace
James

 

[PetiteFoi]

Petitefoi,

Funny you should ask about “grace alone” and faith alone because I was just thinking earlier about the idea of “faith alone” and how Scripture puts conditions on that.
As you mention, St James tells us that faith without works is dead. St Paul tells us that If he has faith but has not love he is nothing. (1 Cor 13:1-13) Jesus tells us that if we do not eat his body and drink his blood we have no life in us.
There may be other references, conditions, attached to faith that I do not recall off hand.
But it seems that a strict “faith alone” position is rather flawed.

The idea of “grace alone” is fine…so long as it is properly understood. THIS might help.

Peace
James

Wow! Thank you very much JRKH! I need to take more time and really read through it; but that looks like just what I was looking for!


Peace,

• PetiteFoi

 

[hydin]

Great to hear your update. I am not going to say much but will give you some links to great sites… first is one where you can hear or read explanations by a respected Catholic theologian who I can actually understand. This link shows you all the topics because I am sure you will have other questions along the way. Remember, Catholics use the same Old Testament that Jesus read from when on earth. He did not ask for any changes. Jews took books referring to Christian things like purgatory and Jesus in the very late first Century for political reasons… the new Old Testament they now use takes out several books like Maccabees… the only place Chanukah is referenced… so we know they were used since that Holiday is still celebrated today… Here is the first link
youtube.com/watch?v=z6Zx9X7S6nQ
Here is his website for other answers…and debates… biblechristiansociety.com/download
this link is for short answers…biblechristiansociety.com/apologetics/two_minute
I think you might enjoy these sites too. Protestant who converted…
scott Hahn youtube.com/watch?v=jKdaU0snPRY
Tim Staples… youtube.com/watch?v=9A5XBzgjgfE

this is a great video site for what the faith teaches…
youtube.com/watch?v=AiHuDUOGJnk&list=PLEB3B8CC91A0F97DA

MAKE SURE YOU WATCH THE FIRST ONE IN THE NEXT REPLY>>>>>first is best… funny…

 

[hydin]

Watch these for fun;;;;;;

Re-vert… came back to the church… Dr Ray… He was where you are… (funny…) youtube.com/watch?v=lB3rKM_bUl0

and this one… you will laugh… but see his thoughts…Oh he is a shrink too… youtube.com/watch?v=lI5cORu94f4