Husband uses marijuana

[lit_lover88]

I don’t even know where to begin. My husband and I got married outside the Catholic Church. We became Catholic two years later but now he is wanting to be a lector and we were informed that our marriage had to be convalidated (I hope that’s right) anyway around the time we found this out he started using marijuana. I don’t have a problem with the weed itself, but I do have a problem with the way he acts. We have been through marriage counseling over it (and other things), we tried to compromise but it seems i’m the only one giving into demands. I love him with all my heart but I am miserable. Do I give into my marriage vows when has no intention of changing and stay miserable the rest of my life or do I seek other options which will completely devestate me?

 

[Cruciferi]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

I guess it’s time to lay it on the line

 

[1ke]

My husband and I got married outside the Catholic Church. We became Catholic two years later

Please clarify this statement.

What do you mean when you say you became Catholic two years later? Were either of you baptized Catholic as children? Or were you never Catholics?

 

[TheLittleLady]

Do you live in the US? Breaking federal law is a serious thing.

 

[lit_lover88]

We grew up Protestant and converted after we got married. We went through RCIA together.

 

[lit_lover88]

It is serious and that’s one of many reasons I don’t like him doing it but he touts it’s health benefits and it makes me feel guilty for fussing.

 

[1ke]

We grew up Protestant and converted after we got married. We went through RCIA together.

Ok, that is important information. Whoever told you that you had to “convalidate” your marriage gave you misinformation. Neither of your were Catholic at the time of your marriage. You did not marry “outside the Church”. That phrase is commonly used but what is really meant is a marriage lacks canonical form. That only applies if one of the parties were Catholic at the time of the marriage.

Two protestants who marry in their own faith tradition or civilly, marry validly. Your marriage is already valid. There is nothing to convalidate.

Please talk to your pastor as soon as possible to discuss this misinformation that you have received. If needed, he should get guidance from the judicial vicar of the diocese.

This is, unfortunately, an all too common misunderstanding on the part of lay people. They are, frankly, wrong in this case.

Regarding his current use of marijuana and your marital problems, continue to seek counseling for that-- both alone and together.

 

[RandomAlias]

he touts it’s health benefits and it makes me feel guilty for fussing.

Claims of health benefits are dubious. In my opinion, your husband is using this as an excuse. In this forum, we are not supposed to give medical advice, but you can look it up at reputable online resources like this:

Mayo Clinic: Marijuana – evidence regarding safety and effectiveness

It reports that for most medical conditions, there is not much evidence that marijuana helps.

So on one hand I would encourage you not to feel guilty for fussing. If your husband has medical issues, he should see a physician. Prescription medications may be more effective and safer.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t expect this sort of information by itself to convince him to quit or substantially reduce his use of marijuana. Something else will be needed, like counseling or a decision on his part to improve his lifestyle.

I am praying for your husband and you.

 

[exnihilo]

Do you have children?

 

[lit_lover88]

Just 4 fur babies