R
rcwitness
Guest
Does the Church say that an addiction to these prevents consent to the Sacrament of Marriage?
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
T
TheLittleLady
Guest
E
Elizabeth3
Guest
Under the order of justice, the couple has conjugal rights to the other’s body and should honor all reasonable requests for it. However, under the order of charity it would uncharitable for the one with the porn problem to insist on their conjugal right when the other spouse is struggling and is deeply wounded. One would have to ask, is this a reasonable request that I’m making of my spouse given the circumstances? It would be very difficult to share oneself with someone you know is using the act in lust for their own personal pleasure and is not able to see the dignity of the other. Especially if certain acts which violate the moral law are being requested or insisted upon because it’s not just or charitable to use your spouse in this way.I strongly suggest no sex until there is serious efforts made to stop.
Do this out of love! Tell him you love him and are all for reconciliation, but that until he makes strong resolutions and begins working on purity, abstain from sex.
Im a guy, who has struggles with sexual impurity and its affecting my marriage. And so im telling you what would work or me. I wish my wife would have done this, and in a very positive, supportive manner.
So what does the non-porn using spouse do when their porn addicted spouse requests sex which is their right by marriage in the order of justice? They have to discern if the request is reasonable. Is my spouse making any effort at all to kick this addiction or do they defend their use of it as “not sinful”? Does my spouse try to get me to commit immoral acts that violate my dignity and the dignity that God intended for married intercourse? Has my spouse listened to me and apologized for the hurt they caused? It’s these questions that the non-porn using spouse would have to discern as to whether the request is reasonable or not. Then in charity, if their porn addicted spouse is attempting to kick the addiction, doesn’t defend their use of it, doesn’t request anything immoral and has apologized, they should probably honor the request, even if they still have some emotional hurt etc to work out.
Last edited:
R
rcwitness
Guest
This is exactly what i meant by “reconciling first” then have sex!
E
Elizabeth3
Guest
I think that is quite prudent to see it that way so that the relationship is not further damaged.
Have you ever listened to Fr. Ripperger’s talks about masculinity? I was recently made aware of him through a thread on CAF and although he’s not everyone’s cup of tea he does really well in helping men see that these sins of sexual impurity or watching porn is quite effeminate and how our culture is saturated with effeminate men. The reason he gives is that men by nature derive great satisfaction not to mention spiritual benefit from doing what is difficult and being virtuous is the difficult road. Men today are more effeminate in that they are soft and weak because they follow what’s most pleasurable, which feels good in the moment but doesn’t ultimately bring the happiness of conquering what is difficult by living the way God intended.
Here’s his talk on How to Raise a Man but I think it’s good for any guy who wants to understand his own masculinity. Heck, I’m a woman and even I got a lot out of the talk in terms of learning how to have more spiritual discipline and not falling for what’s always the easiest way.
Have you ever listened to Fr. Ripperger’s talks about masculinity? I was recently made aware of him through a thread on CAF and although he’s not everyone’s cup of tea he does really well in helping men see that these sins of sexual impurity or watching porn is quite effeminate and how our culture is saturated with effeminate men. The reason he gives is that men by nature derive great satisfaction not to mention spiritual benefit from doing what is difficult and being virtuous is the difficult road. Men today are more effeminate in that they are soft and weak because they follow what’s most pleasurable, which feels good in the moment but doesn’t ultimately bring the happiness of conquering what is difficult by living the way God intended.
Here’s his talk on How to Raise a Man but I think it’s good for any guy who wants to understand his own masculinity. Heck, I’m a woman and even I got a lot out of the talk in terms of learning how to have more spiritual discipline and not falling for what’s always the easiest way.
R
rcwitness
Guest
Not to get too off of the OP’s concerns… but I think this can happen when one spouse will demand to use contraception, while the other spouse sees the need to reject contraception.I think that is quite prudent to see it that way so that the relationship is not further damaged.
Though there may be reasons which should be worked on between the couple, if the one demanding contraception is not willing to reconcile and help the other to reconcile but only wants to contracept the problems away, then that is a serious problem.
Last edited:
- Status
- Not open for further replies.