Husband will not go

[Elizabeth_Rose]

My teen daughter and I want to convert to Catholic. We are now Baptist and have attended church our entire lives. We have attened Mass several times with a friend and we love everything about the Catholic faith. Problem: My husband is baptist also but does not attend church. He does not want to convert simply because he does not want to go. Question: I know the Catholic faith wants the entire family, but…will they accept my daughter and I without him? I have searched for an answer to this question and can not find a clear answer. I do not want to ask the Priest at the services we attended because I don’t really know him.

 

[nannygirl]

My teen daughter and I want to convert to Catholic. We are now Baptist and have attended church our entire lives. We have attened Mass several times with a friend and we love everything about the Catholic faith. Problem: My husband is baptist also but does not attend church. He does not want to convert simply because he does not want to go. Question: I know the Catholic faith wants the entire family, but…will they accept my daughter and I without him? I have searched for an answer to this question and can not find a clear answer. I do not want to ask the Priest at the services we attended because I don’t really know him.

What better way to get to know the priest. He would most likely be happy to help you.

I am a convert from a Baptist church. My husband has never attended church anywhere and I was easily accepted into the church 2 years ago.

 

[BamaRider]

I don’t know for sure, but I say yes. I’m only heistant to say yes, is a reluctant priest, who might view the potential situation with your husband as a cause of concern.

How much of a problem would y’all’s conversion cause at home? Would he be accepting or resent it? He maybe be a indifferent Baptist, until the word Catholic comes along.

I don’t think the issue will be as much with the Church as your husband.

 

[Brenda_V]

Yes, you can convert without your husband. It may be difficult and hopefully you will get some good support locally. You will definitely have support here at CAF.

Now, call the Parish office and tell them you are interested in converting along with your teen daughter, what do you need to do? Every Parish will have their own method but almost all will have some form of classes for you to attend and paperwork to fill out - one being getting a Baptismal Certificate copy for both of you, if you are not baptized then you will be as part of your conversion Sacraments .

Brenda V.

 

[kage_ar]

My son and I converted years before DH followed.

Have either of you been divorced? If he has been, that would be something he will have to cooperate with (the investigation of his other marriage).

Call your local Parish and speak to them about RCIA.

 

[Elizabeth_Rose]

We have been married for 29 years. This is the first and only marriage for both of us. There would not be any problem with him accepting our conversion. He truly does not mind. I really think if we start going regularly he might go also later on. We have all been baptised and I have our certificates. We have all attended church regular except my husband who only goes a few times a year. He’s lazy.

 

[BamaRider]

M’am seems like everything is good to go.

Get the parish on the phone, and see what needs to be done. We welcome you and your daughter home.

If you have any questions CAF is a good source. We look forward to hearing about your journey.

 

[Elizabeth_Rose]

YEAH!!! Thanks for the help!! We are going Sunday. Now, another question…Do we have to attend the one that is nearest ? There are several within 25 miles of our home. Can we go to anyone we want? Also, how do most feel about going up and crossing your arms over your chest ifor a blessing instead of getting communion when you are not yet catholic? The parish we went to did this but do all parishes do it? Also, do we have to wait until we have converted to take part in communion?

 

[bpbasilphx]

I do not want to ask the Priest at the services we attended because I don’t really know him.

You’ll have to talk with him sooner or later. How else can you get to know him?

 

[nannygirl]

YEAH!!! Thanks for the help!! We are going Sunday. Now, another question…Do we have to attend the one that is nearest ? There are several within 25 miles of our home. Can we go to anyone we want? Also, how do most feel about going up and crossing your arms over your chest ifor a blessing instead of getting communion when you are not yet catholic? The parish we went to did this but do all parishes do it? Also, do we have to wait until we have converted to take part in communion?

You can attend anywhere you want.
Yes, you have to wait till you are accepted into the church to receive the Eucharist. RCIA classes usually begin in the Fall and you are usually accepted into the church around Easter. Also, I believe you will need to have your marriage accepted before you can receive the Eucharist as well. Please talk to the priest.

 

[NJC]

“Can we go to anyone we want? Also, how do most feel about going up and crossing your arms over your chest ifor a blessing instead of getting communion when you are not yet catholic? The parish we went to did this but do all parishes do it? Also, do we have to wait until we have converted to take part in communion?”

You can go to any Catholic Church you want, although you are incouraged to support the one that ministers to your community. Any Church will welcome you to get blessed during communion, the crossing the arms over the chest is a universal symbol that you are not recieving communion. I think you do have to wait to recieve communion until you have converted. I wish you the best in your new journey!

 

[Brenda_V]

YEAH!!! Thanks for the help!! We are going Sunday.

Great, keep going but call your Parish office.

Now, another question…Do we have to attend the one that is nearest ? There are several within 25 miles of our home. Can we go to anyone we want?

If there is one Parish you have been going to regularly right now, get that phone number (it will be on the bulletin) and call the secretary or receptionist can help you get in contact with the right person. In my parish we have three different Religious Education directors - one for pre-K - 8th grade, one for High School (9th-12th grades) and one for adults. You would be directed to talk to her about getting started, both you and your daughter can go through the adult RCIA sessions.

This was a long way of saying you can pick whichever Parish you want.

Also, how do most feel about going up and crossing your arms over your chest ifor a blessing instead of getting communion when you are not yet catholic? The parish we went to did this but do all parishes do it?

Not all Parishes do this, you can only get a Blessing from a Deacon or Priest so you should only be in one of those lines if you are doing this. This is just an fyi for you, something you most likely didn’t know so don’t worry about it )

Also, do we have to wait until we have converted to take part in communion?

Most definitely you must wait until your conversion before you can receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist (communion). The Church wants to make sure you fully understand what you are doing before you do this.

Welcome home - go to Mass, talk to the Priest after Mass if nothing else, shake his hand and say Hi! Then call the office and get the ball rolling Sometime in your conversion you will be talking with the Priest. Remember that although he has a special charism of being a Priest, he is human too, he can be harried and rushed, he can misunderstand and miscommunicate, he can be relaxed and understand everything you tell him, don’t be afraid of him okay?

Ask any more questions, we will do our best to answer them. There are specifics that only can be answered by your own Parish and we will direct you there. You can also ask for experiences of those who have converted (Cat who spends a lot of time in the Liturgy and Sacraments forums is a convert). I do suggest you stay away from the Traditional forum for right now - things can get pretty heated in there and if you don’t know what is being talked about it could definitely make you wonder and be intimidating and all it is is people with strong opinions that sometimes get out of hand .

I would also like to suggest you find yourself a Catechism of the Catholic Church. It is a great resource tool and those of us here can help you utelize it.

Brenda V.

 

[Seatuck]

“Can we go to anyone we want? Also, how do most feel about going up and crossing your arms over your chest ifor a blessing instead of getting communion when you are not yet catholic? The parish we went to did this but do all parishes do it? Also, do we have to wait until we have converted to take part in communion?”

You can go to any Catholic Church you want, although you are incouraged to support the one that ministers to your community. Any Church will welcome you to get blessed during communion, the crossing the arms over the chest is a universal symbol that you are not recieving communion. I think you do have to wait to recieve communion until you have converted. I wish you the best in your new journey!

No ,there is no such universal symbol. This is not accepted at all churches. There is no provision for this in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal - the official guide for Mass. This is not permitted at my Parish. You should also know that in some of the other Catholic Rites this is the normal posture for receiving communion. You have to take this on a church by church basis and see what is done there. I myself would not do it as I know there is no written instruction for it in the GIRM or any other vatican document for the Mass. When I am not disposed for communion I remain in my seat and receive the blessing with everyone else.

 

[Annie_B]

My teen daughter and I want to convert to Catholic. We are now Baptist and have attended church our entire lives. We have attened Mass several times with a friend and we love everything about the Catholic faith. Problem: My husband is baptist also but does not attend church. He does not want to convert simply because he does not want to go. Question: I know the Catholic faith wants the entire family, but…will they accept my daughter and I without him? I have searched for an answer to this question and can not find a clear answer. I do not want to ask the Priest at the services we attended because I don’t really know him.

They will accept you However, you would have to have your marriage convalidated (blessed) in the Catholic church before you would be able to receive Holy Communion. This is not impossible to do even if your husband is not willing to participate in a second marriage ceremony. If he flat out refuses to have your marriage blessed in the Catholic Church, you ~can~ receive what is called “RadicalSanation” whereby your marriage is blessed without a new ceremony. In dire circumstances, this can also be done without your husband’s knowledge or consent. I know becasue this is what happened to me. Your best bet, when dealing with the marriage issues, would be to contact your local Marriage Tribunal (your parish secretary could direct you).

Annie

 

[Brenda_V]

They will accept you However, you would have to have your marriage convalidated (blessed) in the Catholic church before you would be able to receive Holy Communion. This is not impossible to do even if your husband is not willing to participate in a second marriage ceremony. If he flat out refuses to have your marriage blessed in the Catholic Church, you ~can~ receive what is called “RadicalSanation” whereby your marriage is blessed without a new ceremony. In dire circumstances, this can also be done without your husband’s knowledge or consent. I know becasue this is what happened to me. Your best bet, when dealing with the marriage issues, would be to contact your local Marriage Tribunal (your parish secretary could direct you).

Annie

Annie - I don’t think a convalidation is necessary for a convert because her marriage is already considered Sacramental - a marriage between two Baptized Christians who can get married is considered Sacramental (in other words, no previous marriage and divorce).

This is only needed if one was Baptized Catholic and got married outside the Church with out any dispensations. The Convalidation makes it Sacramental. But this is getting really technical - our OP will get these questions answered once she calls the Parish and starts RCIA .

Brenda V.

 

[kage_ar]

Annie - I don’t think a convalidation is necessary for a convert because her marriage is already considered Sacramental - a marriage between two Baptized Christians who can get married is considered Sacramental (in other words, no previous marriage and divorce).

This is only needed if one was Baptized Catholic and got married outside the Church with out any dispensations. The Convalidation makes it Sacramental. But this is getting really technical - our OP will get these questions answered once she calls the Parish and starts RCIA .

Brenda V.

Actually, two baptized people who are validly married already have a Sacramental marriage, Catholic or not

If this was the first marriage for both of you, your Priest will explain that your marriage is valid, you will not have need of any Convalidation (that was exactly what happened when I came in, we were both baptized Christians, in a valid marriage, so we were Sacramental and did not even know it ).

Call your Parish!

Welcome!!!

 

[Annie_B]

Annie - I don’t think a convalidation is necessary for a convert because her marriage is already considered Sacramental - a marriage between two Baptized Christians who can get married is considered Sacramental (in other words, no previous marriage and divorce).

This is only needed if one was Baptized Catholic and got married outside the Church with out any dispensations. The Convalidation makes it Sacramental. But this is getting really technical - our OP will get these questions answered once she calls the Parish and starts RCIA .

Brenda V.

Sorry…I apparently don’t know what I am talking about

Annie

 

[Linda_Marie]

Yes, you have to wait until you have been received into the Church before you can receive Holy Communion.

Until then, you can make an Act of Spritual Communion since you can’t receive Him yet in the Sacrament.

Yes, you can go up for a blessing from the priest or deacon, and I think, an Instituted Acolyte. An Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion cannot give you a blessing. Most parishes I have attended (in the US, Scotland, England and Australia) have this practice of going up with arms crossed to indicate you want a blessing instead of Holy Communion. However, it is not a norm and is a recent innovation. As you have read, there is some controversy about the practice.

It was not a practice 28 years ago when I was waiting to be received into the Church. I remained in the pew when everyone else went up and sometimes it was sheer torture. However, it was really really special when I finally was able to receive.

 

[Brenda_V]

Sorry…I apparently don’t know what I am talking about

Annie

That’s okay, We all learn something new every day. If we didn’t we would be ever such uninteresting people! I have had my fair share of corrections here on CAF. Your post probably helped our OP with a question she had and then it was answered so she didn’t have to ask - be glad you posted .

Elizabeth Rose (you are the OP in this thread ) please keep us posted in how you are doing - see the thread started by someone else who has an appointment with her Priest to get started in the Conversion process (that is the right word isn’t it?)

Brenda V.

 

[jwashu]

My teen daughter and I want to convert to Catholic. We are now Baptist and have attended church our entire lives. We have attened Mass several times with a friend and we love everything about the Catholic faith. Problem: My husband is baptist also but does not attend church. He does not want to convert simply because he does not want to go. Question: I know the Catholic faith wants the entire family, but…will they accept my daughter and I without him? I have searched for an answer to this question and can not find a clear answer. I do not want to ask the Priest at the services we attended because I don’t really know him.

Yes you can join the Church with or without your husband. You are correct in that it’s best if the entire family joins but that’s not a necessity. Were you married in a Baptist Church with no previous marriages? then your marriage should be valid as well.

Talk to the Priest, ask about RCIA and pick up David Currie’s “Born Fundamentalist Born Again Catholic” it will help explain some things as well!

Most importantly… Welcome Home

I’m a former Baptist / Presbyterian myself.

Joe