Husband with Chronic Worrying Issue?

[His_Ruby]

Hello everyone!

I’m really concerned about my DH. He’s been like this ever since we began dating but it seems to just get worse. He is ALWAYS worrying about something… to the point where it has, in the past, hurt his ability to sleep through the night or fall asleep and he’s had to take a sleep aid.

He is worried about the normal things, debt and saving and whether our apartment is big enough, etc., expenses, but also a ton of little other things. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes it seems like he invents things to worry about – not that he DOES, but it is a serious problem that ails him and I am very concerned. He’s been miserable a lot lately, all because of this worrying… he worries about whether I get out enough, worries about getting rid of all the boxes we have in our apt., worries about EVERYTHING. Always tired, always stressed.

I told him now today I have no idea what to do to make him stop worrying so much anymore. Whenever he is worried, I do my best to ease him, talking it out and gently explaining that things will be fine and he doesn’t have to burden his mind, etc., I always do my best to do my part at home – laundry, having his lunches packed, dinner ready, so he can feel nothing but relaxed when he gets home. And I know for the evening that helps him immensely and he thanks me and is so joyful telling me how what I do really makes him feel better. But I know it’s only temporary, and the next day he’s miserable in his worries again!!! He also worries about things I have to do… like if it’s laundry day for me he’ll call me to remind me to do laundry today… or ask if I’m doing it… things like that that he can’t just leave to me, he worries about them too. He said last night he doesn’t know if he will enjoy our upcoming vacation because he will be worrying about all the work sitting on his desk that he has to come back to!!

Often he doesn’t want to talk about things, he just despairs. Has anyone else had a person/hubby with this problem – what did you do to help? We used to see a therapist together, never got to mention this worry problem, and now it’s too expensive for us to go back to him. Any books, articles, recommendations?

 

[MannaG]

I don’t really have any advice, but I just wanted to say that my DH is exactly the same way. There are many nights where he is not able to sleep because he is worrying so much about anything and everything. I will keep you and your DH in my prayers… I know how hard it can be. :hug1:

 

[catechumen08]

Hi His Ruby! This actually sounds a lot like my dad! The good news is, he and my mom have been married for over 30 years, so it’s definitely something that can be overcome.

Like your husband, it got progressively worse over time. It’s more like OCD than anything else. He constantly worries about things, and if my mom didn’t also do the worrying with him, he’d get mad. Well, not mad mad, but kinda like sulking. The trick is to simply talk to him, be patient with him, and try to empathize with him. After a while, things always work themselves out, and he’s back to his normal “cheery” self. But again, my mom can be a very patient woman!

I hope this helps!

 

[His_Ruby]

Hi His Ruby! This actually sounds a lot like my dad! The good news is, he and my mom have been married for over 30 years, so it’s definitely something that can be overcome.

Like your husband, it got progressively worse over time. It’s more like OCD than anything else. He constantly worries about things, and if my mom didn’t also do the worrying with him, he’d get mad. Well, not mad mad, but kinda like sulking. The trick is to simply talk to him, be patient with him, and try to empathize with him. After a while, things always work themselves out, and he’s back to his normal “cheery” self. But again, my mom can be a very patient woman!

I hope this helps!

Yes, OCD is exactly what I think of with my hubby. He’s like that about other things, like if his cucumbers aren’t cut a certain way, for an example … but he’s gotten lots better with all that and lets me handle everything… which has been a HUGE improvement! So there’s been progress and he’s learned to let go of things… but it still drives him nuts when he doesn’t have control over things… so I guess that’s why he worries about outcomes he can’t control.

I’m very patient but it does get upsetting to feel like I can’t do much about his worrying.

Thanks for the advice of both of you and your prayers

 

[Sierrah]

Your husband may have an anxiety or obsessive complusive disorder. I would have him see a doctor.

 

[housewife]

It’s more like OCD than anything else.

I agree, this sounds like OCD. Maybe he should seek help from a phsychologist or some counseling.

I am the one who is like that. My husband will become sleepless for financial stuff, however, everything else does not make him lose his sleep.

As for me, in the past, would become very worried about stuff like “what if I go out grocery shopping with my kids and I lose one of them…?” or “How is the world going to end and when…?” or “What if I drive off my driveway and run over one of my children or some other child…?” Things like that were starting to take over me, however, I learned to relax and take things as they come. Sometimes that wants to come out again and I surpress it with prayer and positive thinking. I even tell myself that I can’t live like this, worrying about these things, therefore, I stop.

 

[catechumen08]

but he’s gotten lots better with all that and lets me handle everything… which has been a HUGE improvement!

This actually sounds familiar, too! My dad is pretty dependent on my mom on different sorts of things, like when my dad writes a check, he asks my mom to help him verify it and make sure everything is correct. I don’t know what my dad would do without my mom, haha! Well, they’re very dependent on each other, which is probably a more accurate description.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

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