Husband won't let me convert

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defenderoftruth

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I posted this in the St. Monica pray for us thread in family life forum but I think this is a REALLY good place to put this.

I was an unbaptized “believer” when I married my lapsed Episcopalian husband. I have since been baptized baptist (just after we got married). We’ve gone through several churches in our 8 year marriage but it seems for him “traditional anglicanism” is his stopping point. There is so much that bothers him about it but he wants to stay in it so he can go to their seminary and become a “priest” to put forth his beliefs and take on things since he thinks that basically everyone else is wrong. He gets wild eyed and downright mean when I mention something anything positive about the Catholic Church. He’s a rabid anti-Catholic. I have felt drawn to the Catholic Church for YEARS, but never went through with it. I feel stronger than ever now that I’ve read some of the early church that it is THE church Christ started. He has told me that he would no longer treat me as a wife and would divorce me if I converted since I would be rebelling against his authority as spiritual head. He said I would confuse the kids and teach them rebellion. We have 3 going on 4 (in January) children. He doesn’t believe in birth control or abortion which I’m happy about. But after talking to a priest about this issue he said I’ll probably have to wait till my children are grown so whenever I have a child (which I’m happy about-yet kind of sad) I realized that I have 18+ more years I have to wait till I can convert.

He has told me that whatever problem he has with Anglicanism (he bounces from anglican church to church for several reasons all actually valid reasons) yet refuses to ever try the Catholic Church. He calls it the “whore” and the pope is a “lord” etc. I have begun praying to St.'s Monica and Rita for his conversion but just today he said “you have Roman fever again don’t you”-that’s what he calls it when I get to the point I can’t hide my want to convert anymore it’s been an ongoing struggle he yells, threatens, I cry and give in to his demands over and over and over again. I’m sick of it. I love him and he’s a good husband/father 99 percent of the time but this ONE SUBJECT he’s a rabid wild eyed yelling fiend. Please pray for his conversion his name is Bill.

DoT
 
May God comfort you in this great sadness.
Our God, thank You for the blessings You have given this good person who so desires to respond to Your graces.
Please hear and grant the prayers of her heart regarding her husband and her children.
Let the desires and inspiration of Your Holy Spirit prevail in this family
 
Praying from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions
Let us pray to God, who sent the Holy Spirit to be a light shining in every heart:
– Lord, be our light.

Blessed are you, God our light:
for the sake of your glory you have brought us to this new day.
– Lord, be our light.

By the incarnation of your Son you sent light into this world:
through your Church, spread that light to all mankind.
– Lord, be our light.
 
DofT but why do you have to wait 18 years? That does not make any sense? There seems like there should be some give and take here especially if you aren’t trying to force him to convert. Marriage counseling may be in order. I will pray for you and him.
 
DaddyGirl said:
This is a country that has FREEDOM OF RELIGION. You might remind him of that.
And remind him that if you are open for him to be whatever religion he feels drawn to, you should also be a part of the one you feel drawn to, as well.
Or…
Can ya “convert” quietly, without him knowing about it?
And then just do your thing?
Keep your religion separate from him…go to church, do your prayers, etc…and keep it your own?
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I wouldn’t recommend that. Unless he’s totally unobservant or out of town for long periods of time, he will find out. This would most likely involve lying to him, about where you are, what you’re doing, etc.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully, your husband will come to realize he is being incredibly unfair and cruel. Keep praying.
 
He doesn’t just sound unbelievably unfair and cruel, he actually sounds downright deranged over the subject, so deranged, in fact, I wonder if marriage counseling would be advisable.

Are you absolutely sure that this is the one thing that he gets worked up about? A couple of things you wrote indicate to me that he is very, very controlling.

Pray for discernment here. If you’ve had to bounce around several different churches in eight years, something’s pretty radically wrong. And pray that the Episcopal seminary turns his application down–no Christian denomination deserves to have a wild-eyed clergyman intent on promulgating his own views, because he thinks everyone else is wrong. (I find even that thought a little scary!)
 
Why won’t he let you convert? Is he threatening you if you do? If so, I’d seek help.
 
God is calling you to Catholicism.
He will make a path for you, but you need to pray HARD. (I know you said you are - just reiterating here).

That is all.

I’ll pray for you also.

faith of a mustard seed an all that. 🙂

Not that it applies at this moment, but if/when he gets there, I’m pretty sure he can be a priest while still being married to you. Several former Protestant ministers have done so.

Be supportive of him through his trials. He is being unreasonable, even if he doesn’t know this at some level, it is killing his soul (not his religion - mind you - it’s his clinging to and propogationg lies that I am referring to).

If he accuses you of faithlessness to his faith (which he might equate to adultry in his mind) please do assure him that you have no intention of swiming the Tiber w/o your religious head (him). It is fully his decision. With this sincere reassurance in mind, keep praying HARD; keep studying; and find the Roman Catholic elements in his faith that you can relate to.

Keep in your heart that God wants you to be Catholic AND He wants you to stay a family.

God will make a path for you - even though it may take 30 years … or more.

Read the Diary of St. Faustina. It’s all about submitting to authority and the grace that God provides us to get through the rough patches.

Blessings to you, your dear husband and your wonderful family.

Try joining in the Angelus @ 6AM.
 
DaddyGirl said:
Can ya “convert” quietly, without him knowing about it?
And then just do your thing?
Keep your religion separate from him…go to church, do your prayers, etc…and keep it your own?
Click to expand...
I’m sorry I haven’t got any better advice for you, but… please don’t do this! This advice is counter to everything a Catholic marriage is supposed to be. I would recommend being forthright with your husband about your intentions and what you feel God is calling you to. But of course, I don’t know your husband at all. I do know that if you pray for God’s help and Mary’s intercession, He will find a way to bring you home to Him.
 
:gopray2:

Praying for you ❤️

If you haven’t already, read “Rome Sweet Home” by Dr.Scott Hahn (he is a convert)

I can relate to you, some. My husband is an Evangelical and I know the difficulties we have, “discussions” we often get into.:banghead:
Been praying and will keep praying, my faith is getting stronger and got me in to reading more Scripture.
Thanks to Scott Hahn I know how to defend Catholicism better also.
Everyday that goes by I feel much stronger and confident about our Catholic faith.:knight2:
 
LORD Jesus
As you converted Saul the fanatic Jew into St Paul, so please open the eyes of Bill and let him come to the catholic fold along with his family . Amen
 
Thank you all so much for your advice, support and prayer. I will never give up on my husband. I know with God all things are possible… 😉
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.

Amen.
 
defenderoftruth said:
Thank you all so much for your advice, support and prayer. I will never give up on my husband. I know with God all things are possible… 😉
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Praying for your intentions….

Lord Jesus, You have said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” With confidence in Your loving heart which offers rest to weary souls, we come to You in this time of special need. In Your unfailing love, read the prayer that is written on our hearts, and grant the grace that we ask of You, in accordance with Your holy will. In Your name we pray. Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, and sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother, to thee I come, before thee I stand sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but, in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Praying for your intentions….

Lord Jesus, You have said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” With confidence in Your loving heart which offers rest to weary souls, we come to You in this time of special need. In Your unfailing love, read the prayer that is written on our hearts, and grant the grace that we ask of You, in accordance with Your holy will. In Your name we pray. Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, and sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother, to thee I come, before thee I stand sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but, in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
 
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