Certain disciplines can help to promote chastity, however, some of which are listed below:
A. Freedom and consent. The couple decides to have sex by mutual consent. This principle is not violated if one does not particularly feel like it, but decides to do so to please the other. It is violated when one forces the issue through manipulation or violence. Marital rape is a reality, and it is highly immoral (even when such sex takes place without the use of artificial contraception). Pope John Paul II was criticized a few years ago for making this point, but it is a good and important one. Freedom and consent, here, also apply to the kinds of sexual acts the couple experiences. Within the context of marriage and consent, it would seem that a couple is free to do whatever they so choose (oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.) providing they evaluate their behavior as described below. B. Love and Enjoyment. Sex is to express love. It is also to be enjoyed. Married couples ought to be creative in finding ways to give joy and pleasure to one another in their sexual lovemaking. C. Abstinence. As with all enjoyments (eating, drinking, a special hobby), it is good to be abstinent from time to time, especially when sex has become “routine.” The NFP cycle provides for this, but couples using artificial contraception can do the same when they discern the need. Periodic abstinence for the sake of self-mastery and spiritual growth is a valuable discipline, as the various encyclicals on human sexuality have noted. D. Openness to new life. Although we do not believe that every sexual act ought to be potentially open to bringing forth new life (Nature Herself does not allow for this possibility), it is nonetheless obvious that procreation is one of the functions of human sexuality. Couples ought to consider bringing children into the world, and ought to pray and dialogue to discern when (or if) the time is right for this. Couples who discern that it is better for them not to have children ought to do something to help support those who have decided to be parents. Needless to say, this openness to new life requires that couples who experience an unplanned pregnancy see to it that the developing child is brought to term and placed for adoption if the parents do not want to raise the child. Abortion is unacceptable as a method of birth control, for it destroys a new life that has been conceived. E. Generosity. Married love ought to help both individuals become more generous. This is the surest sign that the Spirit is working in the relationship. Relationships that become too exclusive because of sexuality issues do not evidence the Spirit. These five guidelines together give a profile of chastity in marriage. No one of them should be followed without also considering the others. For example, if only guideline #2 were followed apart from the others, a couple could find their sexual relationship making them more exclusive and lustful. Taken as a whole, however, they do provide a means for balancing and correcting excesses.
