husband won't work

[Katie1723]

I am now bowing out of this conversation. I can see we have reached an impasse. No big deal. Just don’t have the energy to keep up.

Aww.nuts…and just when I was hoping for a good cat fight

Kathy

 

[Eliza10]

** …**I am now bowing out of this conversation. I can see we have reached an impasse. No big deal. Just don’t have the energy to keep up.

Thank you for all you shared, Malia. I appreciate your commitment to putting truth into words here. We who are mothers know how our worldviews shook up when we become Moms. You shared wisdom from that, and from your heart. And I think Lily is one lucky girl! Eliza

 

[udoc89]

Thank you for all you shared, Malia. I appreciate your commitment to putting truth into words here. We who are mothers know how our worldviews shook up when we become Moms. You shared wisdom from that, and from your heart. And I think Lily is one lucky girl! Eliza

Dear Feanaro’s Wife, I second Eliza10’s post!

Udoc89

 

[Seatuck]

On a recent episode of Heart Mind and Strength Greg and Lisa Popcak were discussing the studies coming in showing problems with children who have been in daycare now that they are adults with attachment issues. In children this is called avoidant attachment . It leads to difficulty maintianing solid long term relations and ultimately leads to infidelity and divorce. It also leads to aggressiveness in children. The same disorder is seen in Mothers who may be at home and ignoring their children also. but the studies that are coming now coincide with the wide acceptance of daycare.

We need to be careful here insisting that all childcare situations are equal. Mom , Dad or trusted family member is the best situation.

This was HMS # 909 From the Podcast page. There are some articles also on the internet.

 

[maria29]

On a recent episode of Heart Mind and Strength Greg and Lisa Popcak were discussing the studies coming in showing problems with children who have been in daycare now that they are adults with attachment issues. In children this is called avoidant attachment . It leads to difficulty maintianing solid long term relations and ultimately leads to infidelity and divorce. It also leads to aggressiveness in children. The same disorder is seen in Mothers who may be at home and ignoring their children also. but the studies that are coming now coincide with the wide acceptance of daycare.

We need to be careful here insisting that all childcare situations are equal. Mom , Dad or trusted family member is the best situation.

This was HMS # 909 From the Podcast page. There are some articles also on the internet.

Yes lets try to make all moms who have to put children daycare feel guilt that in order to provide for their children they’re damaging their children. They’re raising children who’ll commit adultry and not love others.

I work with a lot of older teens and young adults who were raised in what is called the day care mentality. 95% of them would give you the shirt off their back. They’re proably some of the most unselfish people i’ve ever met.

What actually should be said on here is that while many moms want to stay home they can’t and posts like this are not helpful at all.

 

[thenewmrssears]

Wow! I stayed out of this thread for quite some time, because it just didn’t seem to apply to me any longer.

I just checked back in and read the last 5 pages.

Good to know that because I am going to make the decision to be a working mom because I want to I am going to be a terrible parent.

Better get to telling Nathan now he should go get a job he hates so he can support me so I can stay home. He should just check those dreams of writing at the door, and give it all up to go work a desk job at which he’ll be miserable.

Forget the fact that I’ll have a BA, MBA, and a language certification. That I make 3 times more than what he was making, that I’m the one who enjoys having an office job…I should give it all up to stay at home.

These conversations are so ridiculous. None of us can judge another. I have a ton of respect for SAHMs, but it isn’t for everyone. Just because someone wants to work doesn’t mean she is a bad parent. I hate when people make these sweeping generalizations. Parenting decisions are so incredibly personal and to judge someone’s family for the choices THEY make is completely unfair and incredibly uncharitable.

I don’t judge women for choosing to stay home, so why am I judged for wanting to work?

Why can’t we just be grateful that a family is doing what works best for them? Why can’t we just pray that each child no matter how they grow up: both parents working, mom home, dad home, public school, private school, homeschool…why can’t we just pray that they love God and become good Catholics? Why does it have to be about “I did it better?”

Doesn’t seem like a very Christian attitude…let alone a Catholic attitude.

By golly…

 

[Laura321]

what happened to Naomi…? i only joined because i came across ur thread, searching for help… cus my husband won’t work. i wish u would overlook all these other “negative” posts. we should all help one another instead of “casting stones”. Naomi came here for help, and for someone to listen… anyway, i thought i should say, in my marriage, it was discussed in the beginning i would stay home and take care of the kids and he work. this was the deal… in which i am thinking is the same with Naomi. i read this in another article… what the Bible says…Paul presents another responsibility of husbands in I Timothy 5:8 - “But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel”. Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your wife as well and your children. … also in the article is said…The Christian father should set an example for his family as he earns a living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family. … anyway… i hope this might shed a little light. Not knowing u… (but u sound like a very good person, level headed) i think maybe he is comfortable and scared of change or failure… at least he isnt verbal or physically abusive. but finances sure take a toll on a marriage… and u should not have to have all this stress… if he cannot listen to u… and respect ur thoughts… maybe he needs to find someone to talk to that he will have respect for and listen to… possibally another male… church or a counselor… i know cus i just had to tell my husband to leave and get help… how can i respect my husband if he cant provide for his family… and hold up to the original promise… i dont like to look at my husband as a failure… and when this starts to come to mind… its time to seek help… and i dont believe in divorce other… but we are seperated… when talking dont work anymore… its called hitting rock bottom… and he is in God’s hands… i have to trust God (thats all we have) that it is in God’s will for the marriage to survive…

 

[Jehanne_Darc]

Just get yourself far away from the situation. Ayn Rand once said that a true scoundrel is someone who takes more from society than he gives back. Leave this lazy scoundrel.

Et Cetera, you are giving this advice very quickly. I do not think you are right and that you are giving the sacrament of marriage it’s full due.