Husband works nights

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Does anyone have experience with a husband who works night shift and you’ve got little kids to take care of at home?

Our house is small and I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old.

It’s raining out and I can only keep them somewhat quiet for so long…usually they are outside.
But it gets really crazy if I have to do errands or if I take them out to do something different.
I’m trying to find shoes, get them dressed and get myself put together and that is when they start with the fighting or getting into things they shouldn’t.
Something will crash and every starts crying (including me).

My husband works 7p to 7a (not including travel).

It’s very, very difficult trying to find things they can do…even on nice days. We are strapped for money and I only have enough gas and toys to do things.

Watching TV works for a little while…but they get bored with it after a while.

Anyone have any recommendations…even products my husband could use?
Most of the ear plugs I’ve used when I worked nights were terrible and didn’t work at all.

My stress level is through the roof and I find myself snapping at the kids for things I would never scold them for if we weren’t in this situation.

He isn’t on night shift forever…his job is basically 3 months days and 3 months nights.
 
My husband travels for work so I’m usually on my own with the kids when I do get home from work. I know my situation isn’t quite the same, but a few things I have found helps with the chaos at home (mine are almost 3 and 15 months). To keep it organized I make sure that I have the clothes, shoes, jackets, diaper bag and snack bags laid out or packed the night before when they go to bed.

1)Always have an outing planned for each day, even if it is just a walk. It helps break up the day. Our routine is usually breakfast, outing with snack, home for lunch, naps, tv/play time, baths/dinner.

2)Local libraries will often have a story time or craft time and some do even more during the summer.

3)Bookstores will also do story time weekly.

4)Look into the website MacaroniKid.com and see if they have a newsletter for your area. Moms list free or cheap kid-friendly activities.

5)Look for groups for local kid activities

6)A water table or even just tupperware with water can be entertaining outside when its nice.

Keeping them quiet while in the house is, to me, just not realistic. Unless you have a very large house with a finished basement where they can make noise and not disturb your husband, I think that being out of the house as much as possible is your best bet.
 
Well, thank goodness it is only another three months, because this is a hard situation.

If your husband is the kind who can fall asleep easier in front of a TV, I would suggest that he try getting an MP3 player and put books on tape or podcasts on it. Something vaguely interesting to him, but without a spritely musical prelude or conclusions. Get squishy earbuds. The sound can be kept very low, but it will have the combined effect of human-voice white noise and earplugs. Alternatively, you might have the TV on in another room as a constant source of background noise during the day.

Also, get feedback from him about what is a problem and what’s not. When my husband is on night shift, the only sleep time that’s really a problem for him is the one where he’s sleeping prior to the night shift. After that, he says we could give dance lessons in the next room and it wouldn’t bother him. That conversation might help you to identify how quiet you actually need to be.
 
The previous posts contain great suggestions.

I’d start a notebook for yourself of ideas, something you can flip through when you need sudden inspiration (because plans always get changed, LOL).

Have a few special toys/books/crafts saved for only really bad weather. That way they will seem new and exciting to the kids when you do have to pull them out.

Have a tentative plan for the day (fair weather, or foul) - put it together in advance (including a box with what you’ll need, clothing laid out, etc). That way you can minimize last minute scurrying (and the resulting crashes!).

Do you have friends to share play dates? I’d bet a friend would be happy to host on the occasional rainy day…gives you a place to go and something to do for a while.

Kit out the stroller for all-weather operation. Just because it’s raining, you don’t need to stay inside! Have you considered putting up a tent every now and again - they can play outdoors in the tent with you. Those netted gazebo tents are nice, too - maybe there’s something available on Craigslist or Freecycle.

Your husband may find white noise helpful. When I’ve been in the hospital, especially the ICU days, it’s so loud & busy that it’s hard to rest/sleep. I use an iPod or my phone (with the ringer OFF) and a white noise app - you can use wired headphones or Bluetooth wireless. My personal favorites are water sounds (waves, rain, streams)…very effective. A loud room fan will give some white noise and keep the air moving, which can be relaxing. A loud air conditioner will do the same, and help keep out the street noise. He may even enjoy sleeping in the tent himself, using headphones and a white noise app!

Whatever you choose, both for your activities and your husband’s sleep, get everyone on the same page building a routine and stick with it. Best wishes!
 
I keep my toddler’s shoes in the car. It’s weird, but I always know where they are. She usually takes them off in the car anyway. She likes to tuck them in a little bag next to her car seat. If I know I am planning on going out, I try to back the bag in advance, while the baby is asleep. I might even put it in the car ahead of time. That way, all I have to do is pick the baby up and head out the door. I can put her shoes on when we get there.

Also, I have no problem with playing in the rain. That’s the best time to play outside in the summer, because it isn’t too hot. Also, all slides become water slides. I have to change her diaper when we come in anyway, so what’s the difference if I change her dress too?

When the weather is too hot to play outside for extended periods of time, I like to go to the mall or to McDonalds with an indoor playground. (NOT during lunch) They both have free indoor playgrounds with coffee and WIFI for me.

We also have a membership to the local children’s museum and we can get in any day after 3PM, which is usually right when her nap ends and the hottest part of the day.

Another good place to play is in the creek. (I recommend water shoes, though, because of rocks.) There’s a state park near my house that has a creek and it’s a wonderful play for kids too play, without the water being too deep. I have an old canvas folding chair that I take along to sit in. I don’t mind if it get a little wet.

Also, do you have a basement? You can play lots of fun indoor games in a basement and that might not wake up your husband if they get rowdy.

Another thing to do is a rain picnic. (You’ll definitely want to pack the picnic before the kids wake up.) Find a park with a pavilion and eat your lunch there while you watch the rain. Bubbles are also fun. Also, Rain + tarp = slip n slide that you don’t have to pay for.

I don’t recommend medicating your husband. That stuff can become habit forming. Sometimes, turning on a loud fan might help with some of the noise though.
 
Kelfa28 said:
Does anyone have experience with a husband who works night shift and you’ve got little kids to take care of at home?

Our house is small and I have an 18 month old and a 3 year old.

It’s raining out and I can only keep them somewhat quiet for so long…usually they are outside.
But it gets really crazy if I have to do errands or if I take them out to do something different.
I’m trying to find shoes, get them dressed and get myself put together and that is when they start with the fighting or getting into things they shouldn’t.
Something will crash and every starts crying (including me).

My husband works 7p to 7a (not including travel).

It’s very, very difficult trying to find things they can do…even on nice days. We are strapped for money and I only have enough gas and toys to do things.

Watching TV works for a little while…but they get bored with it after a while.

Anyone have any recommendations…even products my husband could use?
Most of the ear plugs I’ve used when I worked nights were terrible and didn’t work at all.

My stress level is through the roof and I find myself snapping at the kids for things I would never scold them for if we weren’t in this situation.

He isn’t on night shift forever…his job is basically 3 months days and 3 months nights.
Click to expand...
Hello,

I can say as someone who worked in Law Enforcement for the majority of my career there are a few things that are a must. there is a product that you can buy that covers a window blacking out a room. It Velcro’s to the outer perimeter of the window. this is an absolute must have! I spent years sleeping during the day with sunlight coming into the room and it really messed with my sleep patterns.

Ear Plugs are a must as well especially with small kids. This room has to be off limits when dad is sleeping. constant wake ups are a bad thing. Also get a fan and turn it up in the room so buffer some of the sound.

I used to do 10 weeks on days and 10 weeks on nights and I did it for about 7 years. Very glad to be on a normal schedule now.
 
Get a lock for the door your husband sleeps in as well! forgot to mention that. Also foam earplugs always worked best for me but everyone’s ears are different.
 
I use window darkening shades and white noise. However, there is no way to constantly insure a good day’s sleep.
 
Since others are jumping in with ideas for getting sleep during the day…

When I worked overnights or 36 hour shifts, I found I slept better if I ate dinner when I got home. Instead of eggs, cereal, etc I would have “dinner” food before going to sleep for the day. It helped me switch into nighttime mode during the day.

I second the recommendation for darkening shades.
 
Thank-you so, so much for the good advice…especially concerning my kids.

My husband has made black-out curtains. He picked up tin foil and some canvas fabric and pinned it all to the wall…best ones he has made so far.

He won’t wear ear plugs because they are too uncomfortable…but I’ve been bugging him to install one of the ACs in our room just for the white noise.
He’s never used sleeping pills or anything that medically aids sleep.

I have a routine with the kids…but it’s been getting crazy when it comes to nap time because my 3 year old just won’t nap. We put her in the spare bedroom upstairs and give her some quiet toys to play with and it’s hit or miss on how quietly she wants to play.

We do have a basement…but it’s definitely not safe. There is a sump pump down there, a half finished bathroom that isn’t safe and our food pantry…plus my husband’s work bench with all of the tools.
Oh, how I wished we had a finished basement…that would solve a ton of my anxiety about indoor play.

We have a regular play date with their cousin once a week.

We also take advantage of the parks that are walking distance from the house.

I really need to take the time and go get library cards and figure out when they do story time. I’ve been meaning to do it and I keep saying I’m going to…but I still haven’t.

Some of the little suggestion are great though.

Putting the shoes in the car and getting stuff set up before hand (clothes, diaper bag, snacks) are good ideas that I just need to put into practice.
 
I know our local library has an event calendar that includes the children’s storytime on it, so the information may not be as hard to find as you think (then again, they may have made a website back in 1998 and haven’t updated it since…;))

Also, at least here, there’s no requirement for library cards - you just go right in. It’s useful to have them, of course, but for storytime or other children’s activities no card required. 😃 Our children’s library even has a play area that I have been known to use on bad weather days when I know we just need to get out of the house. Sure, we have similar toys at home, but you wouldn’t think so considering how much the boys seem to love them (“ooo! This play kitchen is pink and yellow instead of blue and gray!” :rolleyes:)
 
I highly recommend the LectroFan white noise machine on Amazon. Here’s a link.
amazon.com/LectroFan-Sound-White-Noise-Machine/dp/B00JU8P8VY/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1434390505&sr=8-6&keywords=white+noise+machine
It sounds just like a real fan or AC unit but it is a small little speaker that can fit in the palm of your hand. When my husband works nights he plugs that in when he sleeps. I have 3 young children and keep them as quiet as I can but no way he could sleep without that sound machine. It has volume adjustment and 10 or so different types of fan sounds.
 
EmeraldOak said:
I highly recommend the LectroFan white noise machine on Amazon. Here’s a link.
amazon.com/LectroFan-Sound-White-Noise-Machine/dp/B00JU8P8VY/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1434390505&sr=8-6&keywords=white+noise+machine
It sounds just like a real fan or AC unit but it is a small little speaker that can fit in the palm of your hand. When my husband works nights he plugs that in when he sleeps. I have 3 young children and keep them as quiet as I can but no way he could sleep without that sound machine. It has volume adjustment and 10 or so different types of fan sounds.
Click to expand...
I haven’t read the whole thread, but when our youngest was a newborn and she and I both needed a little help getting back to sleep in the middle of the night, we both enjoyed a heavy rain sound effect.
 
Kelfa28 said:
I really need to take the time and go get library cards and figure out when they do story time. I’ve been meaning to do it and I keep saying I’m going to…but I still haven’t.

Some of the little suggestion are great though.

Putting the shoes in the car and getting stuff set up before hand (clothes, diaper bag, snacks) are good ideas that I just need to put into practice.
Click to expand...
Don’t worry about the library cards! I bring the kids to two different libraries. One has a fantastic story/song time and the other has a playroom with puzzles available at any time. They don’t care that we aren’t residents!
 
Allegra said:
I keep my toddler’s shoes in the car. It’s weird, but I always know where they are. She usually takes them off in the car anyway. She likes to tuck them in a little bag next to her car seat. If I know I am planning on going out, I try to back the bag in advance, while the baby is asleep. I might even put it in the car ahead of time. That way, all I have to do is pick the baby up and head out the door. I can put her shoes on when we get there.

Also, I have no problem with playing in the rain. That’s the best time to play outside in the summer, because it isn’t too hot. Also, all slides become water slides. I have to change her diaper when we come in anyway, so what’s the difference if I change her dress too?

When the weather is too hot to play outside for extended periods of time, I like to go to the mall or to McDonalds with an indoor playground. (NOT during lunch) They both have free indoor playgrounds with coffee and WIFI for me.

We also have a membership to the local children’s museum and we can get in any day after 3PM, which is usually right when her nap ends and the hottest part of the day.

Another good place to play is in the creek. (I recommend water shoes, though, because of rocks.) There’s a state park near my house that has a creek and it’s a wonderful play for kids too play, without the water being too deep. I have an old canvas folding chair that I take along to sit in. I don’t mind if it get a little wet.

Also, do you have a basement? You can play lots of fun indoor games in a basement and that might not wake up your husband if they get rowdy.

Another thing to do is a rain picnic. (You’ll definitely want to pack the picnic before the kids wake up.) Find a park with a pavilion and eat your lunch there while you watch the rain. Bubbles are also fun. Also, Rain + tarp = slip n slide that you don’t have to pay for.

I don’t recommend medicating your husband. That stuff can become habit forming. Sometimes, turning on a loud fan might help with some of the noise though.
Click to expand...
There is a nutritional supplement recommended for people who work late shifts. It is L-Tyrosine, an amino acid. Julia Ross, nutritionist, recommended it to a group of nurses who stored candy and drank coffee to get through late shifts. They stopped the candy and coffee and felt more restored after a deep sleep. You might try it. non-addictive, improves mood and sleep cycles. Also try 5 HTP or Tryptophane. Try them one at a time for two weeks, then add the next. They usually kick in quickly, especially if you are near exhaustion. Read her book The Mood Cure, take her little quizzes, read the pertinent chapter and notice how you both will feel more up to the task. After a while you will notice you don’t need it anymore so you can quit until you feel you need to take it again.

You might also try a white noise machine or one of those with waterfall or ocean noises–the sound of fans is Ok but gets on ones nerves at times.
 
pnewton said:
I use window darkening shades and white noise. However, there is no way to constantly insure a good day’s sleep.
Click to expand...
When we needed short-term blacking out, we used sheets of the foam-core that they mount posters on. It is easy to cut to size, it slips behind the curtains easily, it isn’t hard to find a place to store it, and it looks OK from the outside. (I’d get a color that is similar to the out-facing side of your other shades.)
 
Kelfa28 said:
I really need to take the time and go get library cards and figure out when they do story time. I’ve been meaning to do it and I keep saying I’m going to…but I still haven’t.
Click to expand...
Depending on where you live, you might have multiple libraries you could explore. We have six or seven within a thirty minute driving radius and there was one summer where all I did was rotate through libraries and parks every day. We also have a Savers thrift store in the area that has a great kid section that the kids like to play in. My husband has never worked night shifts but he occasionally has to work from home and our only computer is in the family room. It’s a small house and if he’s at home the kids want to be climbing and playing with him.
 
I haven’t been to our library yet.

We moved here recently and the library is very old. It’s actually more of a tourist attraction then a library because the building looks like a castle (some guy from Europe came over to our town and built the Unitarian Church, the High School, the Town Hall and the Library all to look like massive castles…I call the High School “Hogwarts”).

So, I’m not entirely sure what they have for a kids room. My parent’s town has a fantastic library that has a huge kid’s room with tons of books and activities to do. My oldest looks like she has died and gone to heaven every time we go there.

Unfortunately we can only make it there once a week to spend time with them and do the play date when they are watching the girl’s cousin.

Thank-you for all of the product suggestions. We will look into them. The white noise machines are a bit more up my husband’s alley.

The supplements look like a good think to try.

My husband and I don’t drink coffee and he rarely eats or drinks anything sugary (with the exception of a coke with his lunch).
He is into taking vitamins and supplements…we just have to be careful about the kind of supplements because some of them are banned by the US Military and would be tested for during a drug test.
Basically, if GMC sells them…they are safe to take.
GMC has a deal with the Military not to sell any of the banned substances.
 
I don’t have time for a longer post, but wanted to pop in with a suggestion re the white noise machine. If you or your DH have a smartphone, there are a lot of free white noise apps out there…yay for free! I used one when DD was a baby, and it really helped her stay asleep. They can be used even when a phone is charging, so if you plug it in before going to sleep it won’t drain the battery horrendously.
 
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