Husband's Affair and Offspring Thereof

[defenderoftruth]

Well as a wife that might face something like this in the future (my husband is bent on cheating), I’d tell the wench she can give birth to the baby and give up parental rights to my husband and I would then adopt the kid. It’s not the kid’s fault dad is a whoremonger and mom a homewrecker. I would treat them as my own and they would be my child (I wanted a 6th one anyway and not having to give birth to a child yet getting to keep them would be nice). I wouldn’t allow the cow to see the child though EVER after that or to see my husband either. She’s gone that’s it. That part is over. Any woman that would even suggest abortion to my husband if he got her pregnant while cheating on me he’d dump in a minute or stay with her long enough to have the baby born and get custody. (he’s already told me as much when I asked him-“what if the slut you cheat with doesn’t want your kid?”) I love my husband and I would love any child that comes from him I don’t care about what womb incubated them. They’d be my child. The affair and the cow would have to be gone though. Of course he’d have to apologize for the affair itself and the pain he caused me and our children but the child is a totally separate issue.

 

[lerapt78]

Guys, this is a fairly obvious trolling attempt.

I think it’s supposed to be a parallel to the also fairly trollish “my wife got pregnant because of a bar fling with a black guy” thread running right now. It’s probably supposed to demonstrate that people have a double standard for men and women and are much easier on straying women. As you may have noticed, there’s a big Men’s Rights push going on right now on CA.

Xantippe, it seemed pretty obvious to me too.

I thought it also curious that the story revolves around a woman who has the sort of morality that would allow her to sleep with another man’s wife first, then consider aborting her own child second. . . . . and yet would somehow muster up the integrity to carry an unwanted child she’s thinking of aborting for nine months just so that she could then lovingly turn him/her over to the man who got her pregnant and promised her no commitment. I’m sure it’s happened somewhere, sometime, in real life, but the odds of an almost unheard-of story popping up within hours of an identical thread pushed the limits of credibility just a bit too much.

Seriously though - if the OPs story applies to either a male OR a female, I could justify placing the child up for adoption. The child *is * innocent, but I don’t know how a daily reminder of a spouse’s infidelity could be good for the marriage.

 

[lerapt78]

Well as a wife that might face something like this in the future (my husband is bent on cheating), I’d tell the wench she can give birth to the baby and give up parental rights to my husband and I would then adopt the kid. It’s not the kid’s fault dad is a whoremonger and mom a homewrecker. I would treat them as my own and they would be my child (I wanted a 6th one anyway and not having to give birth to a child yet getting to keep them would be nice). I wouldn’t allow the cow to see the child though EVER after that or to see my husband either. She’s gone that’s it. That part is over. Any woman that would even suggest abortion to my husband if he got her pregnant while cheating on me he’d dump in a minute or stay with her long enough to have the baby born and get custody. (he’s already told me as much when I asked him-“what if the slut you cheat with doesn’t want your kid?”) I love my husband and I would love any child that comes from him I don’t care about what womb incubated them. They’d be my child. The affair and the cow would have to be gone though. Of course he’d have to apologize for the affair itself and the pain he caused me and our children but the child is a totally separate issue.

You must be from England. The only time I’ve seen the word “cow” used that much in one paragraph was when I read my last Martina Cole novel!

 

[Mr_Clean]

Wow! Just wow! I’ve been accused of trolling and so many have turned this into a “this thread” versus “that thread” thing. I Google’d the topic of raising kids that aren’t yours from infidelity and it led me here. I thought a Catholic forum would be a place of healing and guidance. Instead I see its the same garbage found elsewhere. Sad!

Look, I’m staying with my husband. That was never a question and we’re going to work it out. I was looking for some support in raising this kid since I’m totally furious now and not thinking straight. I read the other thread and to be honest I do notice a difference in tone. That’s unfortunate. Regardless of the reason I sincerely hope none of you go through it because you probably won’t find a forum of strangers who could put aside politics and give consistent meaningful advice.

Sorry your thread exploded, that unfortunately happens a lot on here. I’ve never been thru what’s happening to you but I feel for you. While I can’t offer advice I will pray you get thru this as painlessly as possible. If you and your husband decide to raise this new baby I know Christ would approve of that. God bless.

 

[EvelynEVF]

Those few states fall into the divorce exception mentioned…the other 43 don’t.

And if you really think Catholics are going to their bishop before filing divorce, I think you need a reality check.

I live in a separation state AND I sought permission from my bishop before divorcing (he told me to GET OUT NOW). My lawyer advised me that long term legal separation would not provide the protection I needed.

 

[Stilldreamn]

Any words of encouragement would be helpful.

Dear sister I have walked in your shoes. My husband has a son that was born to another woman about 8 months after the birth of our eldest daughter. So yes…it was devastating. He tried to keep him a secret and even denied him for years, paying support secretly but I had found out shortly after the birth from a sister-in-law. I waited nearly 10 years for his confession. Forgiving him was like starting a new life for both of us.

Now, 30 years later, I can see it as a blessing, and I really mean that - because it was a catalyst for learning how to truly forgive each other for the many hurts and offenses that accumulate over the years.

I pray for peace for you both, and the healing of broken bonds between you.