Hey;Yes, we’re packing and hiring a mover to transport there. My MIL is coming out a week before and driving the drive with us to help us with the kids. He just told his mom about it. I’m not telling mine. I think he feels like he’s been living such a lie for so long, that he wants to come clean. Problem is, he’s hurting everyone in the process of it all.
I second Retrouvaille.After you get settled in the new place see about going on a Retrouvaille weekend.
www.retrouvaille.org
An affair is always difficult no matter how you find out about it or how short or long it is, I am deeply sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May GOD give you the strength you need to believe in your husband again, and may your marriage grow strong with each day. I hope you are able to seek counseling, that helps, and don’t be alone. Get your husband involved in your counseling and both should speak with your priest.I just found out that my husband’s been having an affair for TWO YEARS! He’s said he’s ended it, both spouses now know, and we’re moving to another state in 4 weeks (planned before I knew).
I don’t even where to start, I can’t concentrate, and I’m not sure how to handle this.
I am going to call our parish shortly, but wanted to get some advice…
I will do what I can. I will give a try to save our marriage. We met with our pastoral care counselor this morning at our parish. I made the appt for myself yesterday, and mentioned it to him last night after work, inviting him if he wanted to go. He did. It was great. He was able to be open and honest about this horrible secret that’s been taking over his life, and he really saw how much it was hurting me. We realized there is much healing needed on both sides, and have been given some tools to begin the work of repairing it. We’re having a follow-up appt with her next week as well, just to keep on track.Regardless of the circumstances, you are very blessed. I know that sounds crazy but you have beautiful children who need a family…and a husband who seems very repentant. Evil has tempted your marriage. Don’t blame your husband here. He was weak and fell victim to the temptations of the devil. This isn’t a new phenomenon. But rather something that has been happening since Eve ate from the apple…and but for the grace of God go you and I.
But all I can tell you from experience is that divorce is much, much, much worse. It is EVIL with a capitol E. It destroys families, hurts children and causes sin to perpetuate through future generations. What happened to you is horrible and you don’t deserve it one bit. But you have been given a challenge to love your husband the way that Christ loves you. It is a ridiculously hard challenge but you can do it by taking one day at a time. Because your husband needs you to get to heaven. And he needs you more than ever right now. Commit yourself to staying married tonight. No matter what the cost,commit to not giving up. To truly love your husband is to want to see him next to you in heaven. Without your steadfast love RIGHT now, that may not happen.
I don’t mean to sound harsh at all. I just want to put it into perspective. I commend you for seeking counseling and healing. It will take much. Just don’t bite off on the “easy” way out via a divorce. In the end, you will spend the rest of your days wondering “what if” or why did it not work out. God has given your marriage a second chance. Embrace that opportunity. We are here to support you and pray for you. But spend an equal or greater time praying for him than you do talking about him to your friends and the forums.
Stay strong…Pray hard.