Hypothetical question on sex and hell

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I am a Catholic and would have it no other way but I have a question that has really bothered me. Say a person is a devout Catholic, never misses mass and is a relatively “good” person and one day this person has sex with a woman and says to himself “I just can’t believe that one episode of consentual sex between two adults will put me in hell” and then this person gets in a car crash and gets killed. Is this person really going to hell for eternity for not going to confession before he died because he refused to believe that a God who loved him so much would put him in hell for one act of consentual sex before marriage? Really?
 
I can’t see that either. I have a problem going to confession but I will not get into that now. I know a priest that told me that the Catholic way is the best way to get into heaven but not the only way. However according to what I understand as our religion yes that person would go to hell.
 
If the act is:
  1. gravely immoral (such as sex outside of marriage)
    and
  2. is done with full knowledge that the act is gravely immoral
    and
  3. is done with full consent (full deliberation)
    then,
    the act is an actual mortal sin. And if,
  4. the person does not repent from that sin before death,
    then,
    yes, he is condemned to Hell.
Pope Benedict XII: “By this Constitution which is to remain in force for ever, we, with apostolic authority, define the following…. Moreover, we define that according to the general disposition of God, the souls of those who die in actual mortal sin go down into hell immediately after death and there suffer the pain of hell.”

Council of Florence: “But the souls of those who depart this life in actual mortal sin, or in original sin alone, go down straightaway to hell to be punished, but with unequal pains.”
 
But when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity and does the same abominable things that the wicked man does, shall he live? None of the righteous deeds which he has done shall be remembered; for the treachery of which he is guilty and the sin he has committed, he shall die. 25 "Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear now, O house of Israel: Is my way not just? Is it not your ways that are not just? 26 When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, he shall die for it; for the iniquity which he has committed he shall die.
Ezechiel 18:24-26
 
If the act is:
4. the person does not repent from that sin before death,
then,
yes, he is condemned to Hell.
"
I think this is where I get lost. Why does repent mean confessing to a priest? I can’t go to confession nearly as much as I would like to go. I’m not alone. It is much harder to go these days and some priest only do it by appointment if they even bother to call you back. So if I can’t go to confession because of my jobs I’m going to hell? Someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven? This is something that really troubles me.
boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/10/a_rite_thats_passing/
 
I think this is where I get lost. Why does repent mean confessing to a priest? I can’t go to confession nearly as much as I would like to go. I’m not alone. It is much harder to go these days and some priest only do it by appointment if they even bother to call you back. So if I can’t go to confession because of my jobs I’m going to hell? Someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven? This is something that really troubles me.
boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/10/a_rite_thats_passing/
I think some folks may be perhaps forgetting one thing … God’s Name is MERCY 🙂
This does not mean that mortal sin doesn’t condemn one to hell … but it means that we need to remember that motivation and intent is more than 50% of the grade, so to speak 😉 Similar to Baptism of desire … but the biggest thing is that we don’t have a clue how God’s Mind works and can’t conceive of His Mercy and Love … I believe this is why it’s so important to ask always for the grace to accept and do His Perfect Will in all things with a joyful heart above all else… and TRUST & PRAY always 🙂
 
I think this is where I get lost. Why does repent mean confessing to a priest? I can’t go to confession nearly as much as I would like to go. I’m not alone. It is much harder to go these days and some priest only do it by appointment if they even bother to call you back. So if I can’t go to confession because of my jobs I’m going to hell? Someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven? This is something that really troubles me.
boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/10/a_rite_thats_passing/
From the CCC:
1484 "Individual, integral confession and absolution remain the only ordinary way for the faithful to reconcile themselves with God and the Church, unless physical or moral impossibility excuses from this kind of confession."94 There are profound reasons for this. Christ is at work in each of the sacraments. He personally addresses every sinner: "My son, your sins are forgiven."95 He is the physician tending each one of the sick who need him to cure them.96 He raises them up and reintegrates them into fraternal communion. Personal confession is thus the form most expressive of reconciliation with God and with the Church.
God is forever merciful. If you’re in a plane going down in flames and there’s no priest available for sacramental confession, God will hear your act of perfect contrition.
 
But how can we be sure that we’ve made an act of perfect contrition?
 
I am a Catholic and would have it no other way but I have a question that has really bothered me. Say a person is a devout Catholic, never misses mass and is a relatively “good” person and one day this person has sex with a woman and says to himself “I just can’t believe that one episode of consentual sex between two adults will put me in hell” and then this person gets in a car crash and gets killed. Is this person really going to hell for eternity for not going to confession before he died because he refused to believe that a God who loved him so much would put him in hell for one act of consentual sex before marriage? Really?
Just “one act of consensual sex before marriage”? How about “just” two acts? Three? Where would you suggest God draw the line? Ten acts? 100? 1000?

How many of the Ten Commandmants should one obey? Surely if I keep nine, I’m OK, right? How about six? Surely, God grades on a curve, doesn’t he?

God knows we all fall short, but he expects us to try our best. And to this end, he has given us the wonderful gift of the sacrament of Confession.
 
But how can we be sure that we’ve made an act of perfect contrition?
To be sorry for our sins because we’re afraid of losing heaving and going to hell is IMPERFECT contrition, but it is ACCEPTABLE …
PERFECT contrition is to be truly sorry for our sins because we love God for His Own Sake and are truly sorry for offending him.
 
I think this is where I get lost. Why does repent mean confessing to a priest? I can’t go to confession nearly as much as I would like to go. I’m not alone. It is much harder to go these days and some priest only do it by appointment if they even bother to call you back. So if I can’t go to confession because of my jobs I’m going to hell? Someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven? This is something that really troubles me.
boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/10/a_rite_thats_passing/
A person is never forced to commit mortal sin. It had to be freely decided on to do so. God’s grace is always available to the person to avoid the mortal sin. It is their choice.

If and when a person commits a mortal sin they should pray for the grace of perfect contrition, and make sure they make a sacramental confession as soon as possible.

God does not make it impossible for us to save our souls…grace is always available.

God knows the hearts of each individual. Don’t make it your concern about “someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven?”

That is God’s concern. He knows who is truly repentant and makes a firm purpose of amendment to not commit the sin any more.
 
I am a Catholic and would have it no other way but I have a question that has really bothered me. Say a person is a devout Catholic, never misses mass and is a relatively “good” person and one day this person has sex with a woman and says to himself “I just can’t believe that one episode of consentual sex between two adults will put me in hell” and then this person gets in a car crash and gets killed. Is this person really going to hell for eternity for not going to confession before he died because he refused to believe that a God who loved him so much would put him in hell for one act of consentual sex before marriage? Really?
I think we shouldn’t second guess God. IMHO, I suggest we leave it up to His mercy. There is purgatory also to consider.

If the person is contrite in his heart as it sounds as though your friend is not, then there may be a sin that he needs to confess as soon as possible. Even if he confesses alone with God, IMHO, this might mitigate the sin under the circumstances that you posted.

I feel it is best to go with the CCC on this, however. If we start makng up our own rules, what kind of Catholics are we? Oh, yeah, Protestants.🙂
 
I think this is where I get lost. Why does repent mean confessing to a priest? I can’t go to confession nearly as much as I would like to go. I’m not alone. It is much harder to go these days and some priest only do it by appointment if they even bother to call you back. So if I can’t go to confession because of my jobs I’m going to hell? Someone that is committing mortal sins 6 days a week and manages to go to confession and Church every week is going to heaven? This is something that really troubles me.
boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/03/10/a_rite_thats_passing/
The reporter that wrote that article was not necessarilyl speaking for the Church, but reporting what the Church was doing in that area to encourage Catholics to make use of the Sacrament.

According to our receptivity and good disposition, the Sacraments give grace. Why should Catholics not make regular use of this precious Sacrament? We don’t have to be in mortal sin to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We should make use of all the grace that God wants to give us.

Yes, it is true that we can go before the Lord directly (and we should) to ask for forgiveness, but that doesn’t take away the specialness and efficacy of the Sacrament. It also helps us to be humble, because most people do not want the feeling of discomfort that comes with confessing to the priest, who is, by the way, “IN PERSONA CHRISTI”…in the place of Christ.

When our Lord appeared to the disciples after His Resurrection he said “Whose sins you shall forgive they are forgiven, whose sins you shall retain they are retained.”

The evil one will plant seeds of doubt and annoyance in the minds of Catholics that will make them not want to use the Sacrament, because it is a powerful antidote to evil in our lives.
 
The reporter that wrote that article was not necessarilyl speaking for the Church, but reporting what the Church was doing in that area to encourage Catholics to make use of the Sacrament.

According to our receptivity and good disposition, the Sacraments give grace. Why should Catholics not make regular use of this precious Sacrament? We don’t have to be in mortal sin to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We should make use of all the grace that God wants to give us.

Yes, it is true that we can go before the Lord directly (and we should) to ask for forgiveness, but that doesn’t take away the specialness and efficacy of the Sacrament. It also helps us to be humble, because most people do not want the feeling of discomfort that comes with confessing to the priest, who is, by the way, “IN PERSONA CHRISTI”…in the place of Christ.

When our Lord appeared to the disciples after His Resurrection he said “Whose sins you shall forgive they are forgiven, whose sins you shall retain they are retained.”

The evil one will plant seeds of doubt and annoyance in the minds of Catholics that will make them not want to use the Sacrament, because it is a powerful antidote to evil in our lives.
I want to go to confession it is just almost impossible for me to do so on a regular basis in my area. This is something that has troubled me very much since taking my faith seriously. It has been about two years since my last confession. I don’t feel like I’m a true Catholic unless I go to confession. It is something that for me is very troubling. Someone posted this list of mortal sins in another thread. Good grief there are more mortal sins than what I ever thought.
netcanada.ca/newslink/mortalsin.aspx
 
Just “one act of consensual sex before marriage”? How about “just” two acts? Three? Where would you suggest God draw the line? Ten acts? 100? 1000?

How many of the Ten Commandmants should one obey? Surely if I keep nine, I’m OK, right? How about six? Surely, God grades on a curve, doesn’t he?

God knows we all fall short, but he expects us to try our best. And to this end, he has given us the wonderful gift of the sacrament of Confession.
I understand what you are saying but I guess the problem I have is I can’t understand how sex before marriage between two consentual adults whether 1 or 100 times is so sinful that it would put a person in hell. I mean as Catholics we are taught that missing mass is a mortal sin but how can missing mass and killing someone be in the same category of sin? Now don’t get me wrong I believe everything that the Church teaches but we are talking eternal damnation here and although we preach that their are different levels of sin (venial, mortal) it sounds as if once you hit mortal level of sin they are all the same severity for all intents and purposes and will all put you in hell.
 
From The CCC Second edition,

1733 The more one does what is good, the freer one becomes. There is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just. the choice to disobey and do evil is an abuse of freedom and leads to "the slavery of sin."28

1735 Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

II. Good Acts and Evil Acts

1755 A morally good act requires the goodness of the object, of the end, and of the circumstances together. An evil end corrupts the action, even if the object is good in itself (such as praying and fasting “in order to be seen by men”).
The object of the choice can by itself vitiate an act in its entirety. There are some concrete acts - such as fornication - that it is always wrong to choose, because choosing them entails a disorder of the will, that is, a moral evil.

1756 It is therefore an error to judge the morality of human acts by considering only the intention that inspires them or the circumstances (environment, social pressure, duress or emergency, etc.) which supply their context. There are acts which, in and of themselves, independently of circumstances and intentions, are always gravely illicit by reason of their object; such as blasphemy and perjury, murder and adultery. One may not do evil so that good may result from it.

III. To Choose in Accord With Conscience

1789 Some rules apply in every case:
  • One may never do evil so that good may result from it;
  • the Golden Rule: "Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them."56
  • charity always proceeds by way of respect for one’s neighbor and his conscience: "Thus sinning against your brethren and wounding their conscience . . . you sin against Christ."57 Therefore "it is right not to . . . do anything that makes your brother stumble."58
IV. Erroneous Judgment

1792 Ignorance of Christ and his Gospel, bad example given by others, enslavement to one’s passions, assertion of a mistaken notion of autonomy of conscience, rejection of the Church’s authority and her teaching, lack of conversion and of charity: these can be at the source of errors of judgment in moral conduct.

By his sin, he condemns this woman. He has, knowingly or not wounded her conscience and made her stumble with him.

I. The Human Virtues

1809 Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the will’s mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable. the temperate person directs the sensitive appetites toward what is good and maintains a healthy discretion: "Do not follow your inclination and strength, walking according to the desires of your heart."72 Temperance is often praised in the Old Testament: "Do not follow your base desires, but restrain your appetites."73 In the New Testament it is called “moderation” or “sobriety.” We ought "to live sober, upright, and godly lives in this world."74

1811 It is not easy for man, wounded by sin, to maintain moral balance. Christ’s gift of salvation offers us the grace necessary to persevere in the pursuit of the virtues. Everyone should always ask for this grace of light and strength, frequent the sacraments, cooperate with the Holy Spirit, and follow his calls to love what is good and shun evil.

II. The Definition of Sin

1849 Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as "an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law."121

1850 Sin is an offense against God: "Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done that which is evil in your sight."122 Sin sets itself against God’s love for us and turns our hearts away from it. Like the first sin, it is disobedience, a revolt against God through the will to become "like gods,"123 knowing and determining good and evil. Sin is thus "love of oneself even to contempt of God."124 In this proud self-exaltation, sin is diametrically opposed to the obedience of Jesus, which achieves our salvation.125

1851 . . .The sacrifice of Christ secretly becomes the source from which the forgiveness of our sins will pour forth inexhaustibly.

Finally:

IV. The Gravity of Sin: Mortal and Venial Sin

1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. the promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1864 "Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin."136 There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit.137 Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss.

I hope this helps. The full catechism is on the Vatican website under the “Secret Archives”.🙂
 
I will respond to your question about why having sex once or 100 times before marriage is morally wrong.

Premarital sex is wrong because there is no marital bond between the two people. Since there is no marital bond the two people are using each other for pleasure rather than for love as premarital sex will ALWAYS have a portion of lust attached. Why can’t someone just wait until they get married to have sex, it’s known as the marital act for a reason? Don’t let our culture persuade you into believing premarital sex is okay, just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it okay. If two people actually loved each other they would not have sex until marriage!

I have a question, do you disagree with the Catholic Church on this teaching or are you just not able to comprehend this idea. Either way I ask you to pray and seek spiritual guidance from your pastor about it but if you are just picking and choosing which doctrines to believe then I would ask you to leave out the part of the Creed, “I believe in One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church”.

Our Church may have a shortage of vocations but it doesn’t have a shortage of vocations to the papacy. Pray and humble yourself that what the Church teaches is true because it has 2000 years of experience compared to however old you are.

To my dear brother in faith and out of love, I hope I haven’t offended you or anyone else but I what I say is out of love. God bless
 
I will respond to your question about why having sex once or 100 times before marriage is morally wrong.

Premarital sex is wrong because there is no marital bond between the two people. Since there is no marital bond the two people are using each other for pleasure rather than for love as premarital sex will ALWAYS have a portion of lust attached. Why can’t someone just wait until they get married to have sex, it’s known as the marital act for a reason? Don’t let our culture persuade you into believing premarital sex is okay, just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it okay. If two people actually loved each other they would not have sex until marriage!

I have a question, do you disagree with the Catholic Church on this teaching or are you just not able to comprehend this idea. Either way I ask you to pray and seek spiritual guidance from your pastor about it but if you are just picking and choosing which doctrines to believe then I would ask you to leave out the part of the Creed, “I believe in One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church”.

Our Church may have a shortage of vocations but it doesn’t have a shortage of vocations to the papacy. Pray and humble yourself that what the Church teaches is true because it has 2000 years of experience compared to however old you are.

To my dear brother in faith and out of love, I hope I haven’t offended you or anyone else but I what I say is out of love. God bless
Look, I don’t doubt that sex before marriage is morally wrong and I do believe in EVERYTHING that the Church teaches, believe me, me and my baptist brother have many debates on our different beliefs and I always defend the Church. I’ve studied religion for ten years and have no doubt that the churh founded by Christ was and is the Catholic Church. All I’m saying is that I find it hard to believe (not that I don’t) that anyone would be put in hell (I mean this isn’t a billion years we’re talking but FOREVER) for an act of consentual sex before marriage.
 
All I’m saying is that I find it hard to believe (not that I don’t) that anyone would be put in hell (I mean this isn’t a billion years we’re talking but FOREVER) for an act of consensual sex before marriage.
You wanna take that chance?
 
We have been purchased for a price, and our bodies are not our own (I Cor 6:12-20). For one to have rightfully have sexual relations with another, one must be totally given, by Christ, to one’s spouse. This is why an over-simplified explanation of why sexual relations outside of marriage is a grave offense.

For a sin to be mortal, and thus damning, it has to have grave matter, full knowledge, and complete consent. Grave matter was briefly explained above. One who fornicates rarely does not give complete consent. However, it may be the case that that person may have unintentional ignorance regarding sex outside of marriage is a serious matter, in which case he would not be committing a mortal sin by fornicating.

According to the professor of my sacraments class, who is a TOR priest, no mortal sin can be forgiven without perfect contrition (sorrow out of love of God). However, perfect contrition is a gift from God. A person cannot will themselves perfect contrition. What the sacrament of Penance does (when properly received) is it turns the contrition you come to the sacrament with into perfect contrition.

In the scenario of a man committing one sexual sin, then dying before going to confession, I would have a difficult time imagining that he wasn’t given a prompting to petition God to for forgiveness (and thus, perfect contrition and sanctifying grace).
 
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