I always try and please everyone but I feel no matter what I do it's never right?

[anon98328916]

I booked concert tickets for my two sister’s, one of my best friend’s and myself recently. I found out that one of my sister’s isn’t keen on going now because my friend is and just wanted it to be a sister thing. I understand what she is saying but if I hasn’t of mentioned to my friend she would have been hurt I didn’t ask her. My sister said yesterday ‘we have a gatecrasher’ I always thought my sister and friend got on well which they do but I was upset yeaterday about this cause I feel it’s put me in an awful position. I was trying to please everyone and make sure no-one was left out. I am getting really fedup with similar situations happening and I feel like everyone thinks it’s ok to say and do what they like when it come to me but I dare not say anything or give my opinion as it would cause problems.

I suffer with OCD/anxiety on top of it all and I am a worrier. So this really doesn’t help when I’m put in situations like this. I feel like no matter what I do it’s never right. Just so fedup. Am I overreacting? I feel this should be something to look forward to without any obstacles but never seems to work that way I my family.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

It sounds like there is more to play here than just what’s on the surface.

I have 3 brothers. Before we were married we would sometimes declare things “only family” which was often annoying for me becuase it meant that it was me and 3 guys.

But it was for the best.

It sounds like your sister thought that this was something for you three to do together. I can understand her disappointment that you would have a friend along in this case. It is likely making her feel inadequite.

Your friend should not be hurt that you didn’t invite her to something that you were only doing with your sisters. Most people are not going to be upset by “family only” activities.

If this situation keeps coing up, it might be prudent for you to just do something with your sisters, rather than insist your friend comes. I think short of serious girlfriends, I’d of been annoyed if I wanted to do something family-only and my brothers KEPT inviting their BFFs.

Given the information, I’d say you’re overreacting about “not doing anything right”. Just let your family be family, you don’t need your BFF around for everything. Without anything extra, it does sound like you’ve tried to insert your friend into your family unfairly for every party involved. Do stuff with your friend, do stuff with your family. Don’t try to cram it all into one event.

 

[Viki63]

I would work on developing a thicker skin. It was rude of your sister to call your friend a gate crasher. If people say rude things to you, call them on it. Try not to be afraid of saying what you think – clearly your family is not.
You can always say, you don’t need to come if you don’t want to. Let people do what they want and let the chips fall where they may.
We are to speak the truth in love. You can also say, “that hurt my feelings. Was that your intention?”

 

[TechieGuy]

Concert tickets, eh?

There’s a song called Garden Party, if you know it, sing along…

But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself