I am afraid to offer it up

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If God didn’t give up on me, why won’t he console me? How about some anesthesia? A good surgeon uses anesthesia.

The devil is beating me up. I ask God for Help. He says no.

**No, He just is not answering to your liking. Big difference. Sometimes He would like to see us on our knees so we will hear Him. **

So how is it different from God beating me?

**God is all good. He doesn’t do things like that, No way. **

“I am a jealous God” - I recall reading that.
**That’s a completely different context. **

God is jealous. If one dares to have a love outside of God, God does not like that. Must love God 100%. Can’t save 1% for anyone else.
**Of we must. Why wouldn’t any rational person choose perfection and goodness if they had the chance? **

You answered how the younger son was treated. You didn’t answer how the older son was treated.
The older son got the joy of having his entire family reunited and reconciled. There’s value in that.
The older son got the burdens of having to work double now the prodigal wasn’t there doing his share. The older son got the father cheaping out not even giving him a kid goat to share with his friends. The older son got the strict treatment, the harsh treatment.
**He didn’t get harsh treatment. He was asked to forgive. Doesn’t hurt. **

“If this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few!” a great saint told God.
**Because she fell off a horse into mud. It was a joke. She had a wonderful sense of humor, and so does God. **

Correct.

I didn’t.

I don’t have a choice. Thus my sufferings are wothless and of no value to me. That’s why I offer it up and maybe someone else will benefit.

But I’ll never benefit.
**Not at this rate. You’re bent ofnbeing miserable. **

That’s why I’m afraid to offer it up.

God wants others to benefit more so puts more on me. Since I don’t benefit, that is just more beating up on me.
No. You’re opposed to listening so I’ll stop. I’ll pray fro you, and I’ll pray that you put yourself in the presence of a GOOD PRIEST who can counsel you out of this funk.
 
I’m worried that if I continue to offer my sufferings for the salvation of souls, that God will just purposely send more sufferings on top of the burden I’m carrying, instead of valuing what sufferings I do more.

It is like when the boss sees you doing a good job and assigns more work (but no raise!) - I’m afraid God will do the same!
God’s ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8). So, I assure you that God is giving you exactly what you need. Have no fear. You are loved by a God who is holding you in the palm of His hand. All this fear is from the enemy of our souls who wants you to stop praying. Do not succumb to the lie that God is planning to overburden you with suffering if you continue to pray in this way. So, feel free to pray in any way that draws you closer to God…ask for what you want to ask and hide nothing from God. He will take whatever you give Him and make it beautiful.

May God bless you.

houston1
 
I’m worried that if I continue to offer my sufferings for the salvation of souls, that God will just purposely send more sufferings on top of the burden I’m carrying, instead of valuing what sufferings I do more.

It is like when the boss sees you doing a good job and assigns more work (but no raise!) - I’m afraid God will do the same!
Okay, lets say thi is true. You are going to get unpleasantly hard things in life to endure, why not endure them for a good cause?
 
I’m sort of scared to comment on this thread lest I be responsible for bad advice but
-read the book of Job and the Gospels
-if you have anxiety and depression indeed, take medication
-know that God wants you. He doesn’t just love you. Love to many people is a passive thing but God actively loves us. Maybe read the Song of
Songs?
 
Okay, lets say thi is true. You are going to get unpleasantly hard things in life to endure, why not endure them for a good cause?
Then my fear becomes that others benefit and I won’t benefit (then go to hell). I sacrifice myself and take the down elevator, making all my sufferings completely worthless.

I am the weakest link, and my fear is of my failure.
 
Hey Bob, do you want to trade lives?
I don’t think you want to go there 🙂 Seriously.

I get no benefit from comparing my cross to other’s crosses. I take no comfort or joy in knowing others suffer more (that sounds to me me like sadism). And those who appear not to suffer as much as I do, have sufferings that are hidden from my view, that are horrific (so I don’t think someone else has a lighter cross).

Besides, I carry burdens I don’t think you could handle. And you carry burdens I don’t think I could handle, so there won’t be any change for me or you if we trade lives.
God’s ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8). So, I assure you that God is giving you exactly what you need. Have no fear. You are loved by a God who is holding you in the palm of His hand. All this fear is from the enemy of our souls who wants you to stop praying. Do not succumb to the lie that God is planning to overburden you with suffering if you continue to pray in this way. So, feel free to pray in any way that draws you closer to God…ask for what you want to ask and hide nothing from God. He will take whatever you give Him and make it beautiful.

May God bless you.

houston1
This seems to have given me some hope. I appreciate the charity. Thank you.

One problem I have is I wonder that God puts others ahead of me to the utter exclusion of any benefit of to me.

What if I offer it up, carry the cross and wind up taking the down escalator (all while lots of others benefited from it, but no benefit to me). All I have to do is fail (mortal sin) and not have a chance to repent.

I get it. I’m not in it for an earthly reward, or any reward for that matter. I’m not a mercenary in it for a paycheck. I’m not a hired hand.

I don’t see God protecting me from evil as a reward, but rather something a good Father does out of love. What if I am not protected from evil (hence suffering happens)?
 
When we open even just a crack this is great! Cracks let in the light. Meditate on, dwell on, digest your own words. “I don’t see god protecting me from evil as a reward, but rather something a good Father does out of love.” When you become afraid of your suffering or that others will benefit and not you-remember your own words. I was very moved when I read them. Thank you for sharing and letting your light shine forth.
 
When we open even just a crack this is great! Cracks let in the light. Meditate on, dwell on, digest your own words. “I don’t see god protecting me from evil as a reward, but rather something a good Father does out of love.” When you become afraid of your suffering or that others will benefit and not you-remember your own words. I was very moved when I read them. Thank you for sharing and letting your light shine forth.
The problem is that I see God allowing evil and suffering to hit me - in other words, he’s NOT protecting me from evil!

Yes, he protects me from 90% of the bullets flying out there in the world. But the 10% that hit me HURT. I’m not protected from that.

So yes, I don’t see God protecting me from evil as a reward, but rather something a good Father does out of love. But when he doesn’t protect me, he’s not loving me.
 
So yes, I don’t see God protecting me from evil as a reward, but rather something a good Father does out of love. But when he doesn’t protect me, he’s not loving me.
God is not a human Father (though human fathers will let bad things happen for the good of their children or another child etc) but God the Father who yes permits evils in this world (fallen due to mans sin) - such as the evil choices others make …or the choices other people make that financially effect us (say the stock market etc) or the sins of others that effect us etc etc. And even brings good out of evils for us (even though we may not see such in this life).

God does not protect us from all transitory evils in this life - that is something that would look rather odd in this world. If I tripped and did not fall usually. Yes sometimes miracles happen - sure and yes prayer is a reality. But God has the whole order of creation and free will etc etc too take into account normally. God has not promised to protect us from all evil in this life -but has given us true life in Christ and so many varied things and graces etc in this world and desires for that true life to be fully abundant in the world to come - both in heaven and at the resurrection where there is the new heavens and the new earth.

“…these words of the Risen Christ …have also become words which the Lord speaks to us: “I arose and now I am still with you,” he says to each of us. My hand upholds you. Wherever you may fall, you will always fall into my hands. I am present even at the door of death. Where no one can accompany you further, and where you can bring nothing, even there I am waiting for you, and for you I will change darkness into light.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Holy Saturday, 7 April 2007 (w2.vatican.va/)

Let us turn to Christ and renew our trust …even in the midst of difficulties in this pilgrimage.

This life…this short pilgrimage is just that …a pilgrimage on a road…and not our lasting home…

We look forward to the fullness of life - and to the Resurrection.
 
God does not protect us from all transitory evils in this life - that is something that would look rather odd in this world.
OK, I understand that part, but I don’t understand why if I ask to be protected from certain evils, why that is evil and horrible (from God’s eyes, since this is against his will so he says no)

There are evils I get hit with that are clearly supernatural in nature, that come from the devil and God permits it (despite me begging for help against it). I hate the devil, and am repulsed of him.
 
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