Does the point at which each of us become self-aware determine the path we take towards identity which seems to be an attempt to create order out of chaos?
It is still difficult to phrase these questions clearly. The four existential crises that all beings with consciousness face are death, freedom, isolation and lack of meaning. These crises would not exist without awareness. Natural law or forces of unknown origin has brought me here at this moment in time to attempt to construct a question about why I exist.
Are we the universe, in its infinite diversity, attempts of a universe to be alive and to be something that it has never been before in space and time? We begin in nothingness and awaken to chaos and attempt to create order out chaos as a way to define ourselves.
It seems that the chaos we awaken to is the chaos of other humans who are attempting to define themselves. In the process they attempt to make us into their image and likeness. The more self-aware we are the more it seems like an assault that creates more chaos which adds to the already existing chaos of our developing awareness. Instinctively, it seems, we have the knowledge that what others are attempting to order us into is wrong. We then either give up our freedom to explore our origins or we risk our annihilation and use our freedom explore the unknown.
The existential philosophers stated that there are two general reactions to the crisis of death: 1) seek a savior whether it be some unseen omnipotent being or a known entity such as a family, group, or organization; 2) try to be special as an attempt to avoid being nothing. Both of these reactions stem from fear.
I am done for now. It is early and I think I have created too much chaos in my own galaxy.