I am Catholic and he is Hindu...what to do?

[Stylteralmaldo]

ad2000.com.au/articles/2003/oct2003p10_1457.html

How fatherhood is crucial to children’s faith

Fr Robbie Low

Recent Swiss research on church attendance has highlighted the vital role played by fathers in their children’s practice rates. Fr Robbie Low, who analyses this research, was vicar of St Peter’s, Bushey Heath, a Church of England parish in the UK, for the last 15 years and is a member of the editorial board of the magazine ‘New Directions’ published by Forward in Faith, in which the complete version of this article first appeared. This shortened version is published with permission…

…In short, if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of his wife’s devotion, between a half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally…

 

[rinnie]

Hello all. I haven’t a clue if I am in the right forum for this topic, so I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. At any rate, I am in need of prayers and advice regarding a situation that I am currently facing.

Several months ago, I befriended a guy from India. Mind you, he lives in India, so our contact has been limited to countless hours of talking/IMing/Skyping. Initially, I do not think either of us considered anything other than a platonic relationship; however, things changed drastically. I could see it leading in this direction, and today my feelings were confirmed when he said he loves me. Thing is, I think I am feeling the same way; he is everything I could ever hope for in a guy. ONLY problem? He’s Hindu.

Although he and his family are extremely tolerant (and even have respect for) the Catholic faith, I could never imagine myself starting a relationship with someone who was not Catholic…an entire vocabulary would be missing for us…nor would I expect him to convert solely for me. He knows I am a very devout Catholic (and even asks me to pray for him on occasion), but other than that, very rarely do we discuss religion.

What should I do? I feel at such a loss. If I cannot pursue a relationship with him, I will be saddened to think that I would lose such a wonderful man. But at the same time, the thought of starting something with a non-Catholic makes me extremely uneasy, as I know it should, as it is a tricky subject.

What would you do? What do I tell him? Should I completely forget about it? I am 19, almost 20, and he is 21, if that makes any difference.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this.

God bless

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you on this. I was 19 when I married and I married a Protestant almost the same in a 100% Roman Catholic Polish family

But I prayed and asked God to guide me and he did. But always remember there is no such thing as unanswered prayers. Just God sometimes says NO.

But pray the rosary everyday, ask the Blessed Mother to go with you to her Son, and wait and see what happens.

 

[Servant19]

I don’t think that people really appreciate how big cultural differences can be and how much of an impact that can have on a marriage. Talk about a rude awakening.

So we should just go back to white folk marrying white folk again?

 

[Servant19]

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you on this. I was 19 when I married and I married a Protestant almost the same in a 100% Roman Catholic Polish family

But I prayed and asked God to guide me and he did. But always remember there is no such thing as unanswered prayers. Just God sometimes says NO.

But pray the rosary everyday, ask the Blessed Mother to go with you to her Son, and wait and see what happens.

God bless you again and again rinnie…

People on this thread should follow your example.

There’s NOTHING wrong with marrying at 19 years old.
In fact I would say that the ability to explore and learn about one anothers characters WITHOUT any “physical” distractions is a huge positive to ensure better long term success.

Marriage should never be taken lightly, and the OP must ensure that she takes PLENTY of time to acquaint herself with his character, AS SHOULD HE

Theres also NOTHING wrong with marrying an Indian. Some comments here border on racism.

Theres also NOTHING wrong with India as a country. I’ve seen plenty of rapes in the US. I even saw a story there “not so long ago” where 3 women were kidnapped and raped for 10 years. Who would want to visit the US??

Well done rinnie for showing true Christian spirit

 

[coachkfan1]

So we should just go back to white folk marrying white folk again?

Oh please, that is so weak. No one is talking about skin color. We are talking about religious and cultural differences that are MAJOR obstacles to a healthy marraige!

 

[Servant19]

Oh please, that is so weak. No one is talking about skin color. We are talking about religious and cultural differences that are MAJOR obstacles to a healthy marraige!

Weakness is not trying to overcome them, for we are ALL created in the image of the Father

 

[MJJean]

I cannot believe multiple people on this site are encouraging a 19 year old girl to travel to India to meet a guy.

Good grief, have people lost all sense?

Have you not seen the multiple news articles about women traveling in India being raped? One was WITH a male companion. Not to mention women who are just never seen again as they are taken into the sex trade by force. (and I am not implying that this man is even the one who would do something like that, but women have been snatched right off public transportation).

For heaven’s sake stop and think about what you are encouraging this young lady to do!!!

She should not go anywhere near India. If she were to go, it would have to be WITH her parents.

With all due respect, this 19 year old is a grown adult. Kidnapping, murder, rape, sex trafficking all happen here, too.

I am not one to let fear and “what if’s” dictate what I do or where I go. I wouldn’t encourage anyone else to, either. Have sense, be aware of surroundings, take precautions and live a full life. If it was me and I were trying to decide the course of my life and if I wanted to marry a person from India, I’d not hesitate to go if I could afford it. If it was my daughter, who is also 19, I would encourage her to go, too.

 

[openmind77]

Hello all. I haven’t a clue if I am in the right forum for this topic, so I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. At any rate, I am in need of prayers and advice regarding a situation that I am currently facing.

Several months ago, I befriended a guy from India. Mind you, he lives in India, so our contact has been limited to countless hours of talking/IMing/Skyping. Initially, I do not think either of us considered anything other than a platonic relationship; however, things changed drastically. I could see it leading in this direction, and today my feelings were confirmed when he said he loves me. Thing is, I think I am feeling the same way; he is everything I could ever hope for in a guy. ONLY problem? He’s Hindu.

Although he and his family are extremely tolerant (and even have respect for) the Catholic faith, I could never imagine myself starting a relationship with someone who was not Catholic…an entire vocabulary would be missing for us…nor would I expect him to convert solely for me. He knows I am a very devout Catholic (and even asks me to pray for him on occasion), but other than that, very rarely do we discuss religion.

What should I do? I feel at such a loss. If I cannot pursue a relationship with him, I will be saddened to think that I would lose such a wonderful man. But at the same time, the thought of starting something with a non-Catholic makes me extremely uneasy, as I know it should, as it is a tricky subject.

What would you do? What do I tell him? Should I completely forget about it? I am 19, almost 20, and he is 21, if that makes any difference.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this.

God bless

I have friends where the wife is a Catholic and the husband is a Hindu - so such marriages can be successful. However, in this case both are Indians. I think the differences between a Hindu in India and a Catholic woman in the US maybe too many to handle for either of you. In any case, I don’t understand how you can be in love with someone who you have not even met. I think you should forget about it until you are at least 25.

 

[iepuras]

Religious and cultural differences can be a big issue in a marriage regardless of race. I am a white American married to a white man from an Eastern European country. We have had many fights over cultural differences. We have worked through a lot of the issues and have learned to pick our battles. I would have had fewer cultural issues to work through if I had married a man of Indian ancestry who was born and raised in the USA.

 

[MJJean]

Religious and cultural differences can be a big issue in a marriage regardless of race. I am a white American married to a white man from an Eastern European country. We have had many fights over cultural differences. We have worked through a lot of the issues and have learned to pick our battles. I would have had fewer cultural issues to work through if I had married a man of Indian ancestry who was born and raised in the USA.

And, for some people, cultural differences are not that big of a issue and don’t cause many fights at all. Which is why I think it important for the OP and her young man to discuss their religions and cultures at length and to then experience those things in person. Those differences might be a big deal for them and they might not. Best to find out and make a decision as soon as possible so they can both move on if necessary.

 

[estesbob]

The odds are this is a scam. At some point hes going to ask you to send him money so he can come see you or ask for you financial help on a family matter or any other number of scenarios he can come up with get money form the one he “loves.” I’ve seen it happen again and again. be very, very careful

 

[Porknpie]

I cannot believe multiple people on this site are encouraging a 19 year old girl to travel to India to meet a guy.

Good grief, have people lost all sense?

Have you not seen the multiple news articles about women traveling in India being raped? One was WITH a male companion. Not to mention women who are just never seen again as they are taken into the sex trade by force. (and I am not implying that this man is even the one who would do something like that, but women have been snatched right off public transportation).

For heaven’s sake stop and think about what you are encouraging this young lady to do!!!

She should not go anywhere near India. If she were to go, it would have to be WITH her parents.

We live in a funny society. “Kids” can join the military at 18 years old, travel the world and die for our country but can not drink a beer legally until 21 years old. They can even get married at 16 years old with parent’s permission, even younger in some states with court permission.See here.

I did say that she should go with her parents and everyone, boyfriend and future in-laws should go to the local Catholic Church together. But even before this step, it’s best that she discuss religion with her boyfriend and it would be great if both sets of parents skyped each other…nothing like the internet to bring extended families closer together.

She should visit India and bring her family with her.

There’s two likely outcomes here if they continue their relationship…

1. She moves to India.
2. He moves to the USA, potentially bringing his parents.

Best if everyone gets to know each other…see if her boyfriend is interested in joining the Catholic Church…see if he and his parents continue to be tolerant.

On the way to India, I’d stop for a week or so in Paris and on the way back a week or so in Rome.

 

[abinjoy]

Have you ever visited India? Talk about a culture shock going from the US to India. India has got to be the filthiest and most brutal place I have ever visited. And I get to visit some filthy and brutal places so that is saying something. Talk about a complete ****-hole. (no offense intended to anyone of Indian descent) Stink, rotting corpses, human waste, starving children, pollution so thick you can hardly breathe. I am hard pressed to say one positive thing about the country or culture. And the whole filthy system is propped up by one of the most backwards and brutal religions ever devised, Hinduism. Seriously visit the country and that should take care of any feelings you have towards this guy.

I am an Indian and I take offense at many of the things which you have stated here.I am a catholic too
While agreeing to stink,human waste and many other things which u stated I disagree on many things which you have said out of your ignorance
You have to understand that some brutal people from so called civilzed Christian countries in Europe(Britian,France,Portugal,Dutch-among which British had only the major impact came to India and we were under bloody colonization until 1947. Don’t you think it had hampered our economic progress until then?Do you know that we were forced to fight for the British during the second world war as an ally of US even when we had nothing to do with WW2
And For Your Info many of the capitalist American companies survive because of people from India.(Meaning many of them have more employees of Indian origin than any other nation and some them have have transferred too much of work to India,it being a low cost location for labor and business).Some Indian cities will have more American MNC’s than many US cities…
As an Indian catholic I find US as the most advanced nation in world but at the same time a nation with no moral values(where people change their spouse the way they change dress,where children have sex when they are in High School,where the government is so ready to give unborn children for slaughter through abortion,where bestiality is legal,(at least in some of the states)where gay marriage is also legal,where school children will come to classroom and shoot every and kill 30 of his classmates.LOL.)

I understand if you have negative opinion about India but writing something out of your little knowledge may evoke some serious responses in a public forum

 

[abinjoy]

Not to mention women who are just never seen again as they are taken into the sex trade by force.
She should not go anywhere near India. If she were to go, it would have to be WITH her parents.

I don’t think India has as many brothels as US will be having.(brothels/no of people)

This is like an Indian saying “No un married should go to US because in American culture it is so common to have pre-marital sex”

I do agree with what you said about rape etc…
PS:Sorry for not so relevant post on the topic in debate

 

[abinjoy]

I have friends where the wife is a Catholic and the husband is a Hindu - so such marriages can be successful. However, in this case both are Indians. I think the differences between a Hindu in India and a Catholic woman in the US maybe too many to handle for either of you. In any case, I don’t understand how you can be in love with someone who you have not even met. I think you should forget about it until you are at least 25.

The marriage be successful materially but not spiritually?

 

[abinjoy]

At some point hes going to ask you to send him money so he can come see you or ask for you financial help on a family matter or any other number of scenarios he can come up with get money form the one he “loves.”

LOL…You seem to have an impression that all Indian’s make skype friends for money

 

[estesbob]

LOL…You seem to have an impression that all Indian’s make skype friends for money

Where would you get that idea? Scamming people for money on the internet knows no bounds. Ive seen people scammed out of money using similar ploys from people who live in the same country.

 

[CarolNoel]

As one of many gods. Which he is not.

Yes.

It is not OK to worship false gods and it takes no examination of ourselves. What you are proposing is a relativistic viewpoint, which the Catholic Church rejects.

Great answers Ike.

 

[openmind77]

…
I do agree with what you said about rape etc…
PS:Sorry for not so relevant post on the topic in debate

One more off-topic comment - the number of rapes per capita is higher in the US than in India,

 

[openmind77]

The marriage be successful materially but not spiritually?

I am not sure why you assume that the marriage is not successful spiritually. In the case of my married friends - the Catholic wife and Hindu husband each follow their own religion.

However I don’t know if the marriage is recognized by the Church, probably not, but I don’t think either partner feels spiritually deprived.

But in the case of OP, I think it is a different matter - there is a big cultural gap and neither knows each other very well (maybe hardly at all).