I am Catholic but confused

[SilverLight]

I was raised Catholic and told I am Catholic my whole life. When I found this site I was slightly surprised with how some treat others. I don’t know if I was raised differently or what.

I find people who may think they know everything there is and then hold themselves higher because of it. I see some who tell others what they should be doing and how to do it but seem to ignore them when they do not agree or they get angry.

I try to be as reasonable as I can be and defend myself when I must and I never have any intention of hurting someones feelings.

I have my way of doing things because there are some things I have to do differently and I would never push it on others.

I just see how much things vary on this forum compared to others and in my own church and family.

Is it that there are some people who are a bit more extreme with the religion then others?

I’m just trying to make heads and tails of stuff.

 

[1ke]

I think you well know that many of the positions you hold are not just contrary to other pople’s opnions but to Church teaching itself.

When others post Church teaching, that isn’t being mean, or thinking anyone is better than anyone else. It is a sincere attempt to (a) inform and (b) correct misinformation and (c) help you form your conscience with authentic church teaching,

I’m not sure you should expect less at a Catholic website.

Those who have taught you wrong teachings or simply indulged or overlooked beliefs and actions contrary to the Truth have done you no good service.

 

[SilverLight]

I think you well know that many of the positions you hold are not just contrary to other pople’s opnions but to Church teaching itself.

When others post Church teaching, that isn’t being mean, or thinking anyone is better than anyone else. It is a sincere attempt to (a) inform and (b) correct misinformation and (c) help you form your conscience with authentic church teaching,

I’m not sure you should expect less at a Catholic website.

Those who have taught you wrong teachings or simply indulged or overlooked beliefs and actions contrary to the Truth have done you no good service.

That’s just it though some of them have been sincere and taught me the truth they just word it differently. I guess the teachers at CCD may have failed to teach us kids then.

There are people on sites just like this one that act in a very different way. When asked about some of the things on here they say it is in fact incorrect sometimes.

 

[underacloud]

Is it that there are some people who are a bit more extreme with the religion then others?

Yes, some people are more “extreme”. But let’s be careful in using that word if we are apying it only to people with more conservative views (more strict). That is one direction of extremism in Catholicism. The other is towards liberalism, and people can be equally extreme in that direction also.

(Or perhaps the word extreme can be applied to level of commitment too?)

You should find on this forum people at both ends of this (overly simplistic) spectrum, and certainly in any given thread one group can yell louder than the other. But there are also many people who sit somewhere between these extremes and as with all such matters (religious, political, etc) these more moderate views tend to be less noticed or less intrusive. They can get drowned out by those who argue from more extreme positions.

On top of that you can throw in personality differences and the complexities of written communication, which is often by nature more direct and forceful that verbal communication. Thus, some people may come across as pushy or even aggressive on a forum when I’m sure in real life they are far more personable. I don’t doubt that I come across that way in many discussions, whereas I don’t tend to get into heated debates with people in real life (apart from my eldest child, but that’s another issue).

 

[1ke]

That’s just it though some of them have been sincere and taught me the truth they just word it differently. I guess the teachers at CCD may have failed to teach us kids then.

There are people on sites just like this one that act in a very different way. When asked about some of the things on here they say it is in fact incorrect sometimes.

Well maybe your reactions have something to do with it, for example, recently an exchange went like this, paraphrased.

SL: If I want my dream wedding on a beach, then I shall have it there.

Response: well actually you need the bishop’s permission and will need a good reason (a factually correct statement)

SL: well I probably won’t be in this denomination when I get married so I don’t care.

That doesn’t really come across as “I am here to learn” that comes across as “I don’t care what the Church teaches”

 

[underacloud]

I try to be as reasonable as I can be and defend myself when I must and I never have any intention of hurting someones feelings.

It is true of anyone holding even the most extreme positions that they view themselves as being “reasonable”.

 

[spunjalebi]

This is the internet, and people are more rigid on the internet than they are in real life.

 

[heidi_storage]

Now, what is the point of lambasting “some people” on this thread? It comes off as a vague, rather petty complaint. It is completely reasonable for people to tell you when you contradict Church teaching; Catholics are supposed to follow Catholic teaching. If I went around arguing the benefits of hormonal birth control, you can bet I’d get an earful. This is nothing to take personally.

If someone is being actually rude to the point that they’re violating forum rules, you can report the offender; if someone is making a rude statement to you, the rude one will likely get called out by others. And you always have the opportunity to respond. It is great that you try to be respectful in your replies, but you do seem a bit thin-skinned. Bottom line here: It is such a waste of energy to lose any sleep over what people say to you on CAF.

You are, of course, free to disbelieve in the teachings of the Catholic Church. (I disbelieve in many of them, myself.) What you cannot legitimately do is then argue that your version of Catholicism is the correct one. When I learn about another religion, I try to respect it by gaining as accurate knowledge as possible, however limited my knowledge may be. How much more respect should you not show what you consider to be your own religion?

 

[SilverLight]

Well maybe your reactions have something to do with it, for example, recently an exchange went like this, paraphrased.

SL: If I want my dream wedding on a beach, then I shall have it there.

Response: well actually you need the bishop’s permission and will need a good reason (a factually correct statement)

SL: well I probably won’t be in this denomination when I get married so I don’t care.

That doesn’t really come across as “I am here to learn” that comes across as “I don’t care what the Church teaches”

The beach was hypothetical I never actually want a beach wedding so many never seem to account for the tide.

The church has done some things that really irk me and a few family members.
One of them being that there was a priest at my church who ended up going to trial. The last time I went to mass there was a thing in the little paper you get about it and this priest was caught a few years ago. I feel like its always there to remind me what happened. It really tarnished what I had with the church but not God. I love God and always will but the church has really disappointed me.

This has effected me in a few ways and its always at the back of my mind now. I am reminded that its the human element of the church though and not God.

 

[SilverLight]

Now, what is the point of lambasting “some people” on this thread? It comes off as a vague, rather petty complaint. It is completely reasonable for people to tell you when you contradict Church teaching; Catholics are supposed to follow Catholic teaching. If I went around arguing the benefits of hormonal birth control, you can bet I’d get an earful. This is nothing to take personally.

If someone is being actually rude to the point that they’re violating forum rules, you can report the offender; if someone is making a rude statement to you, the rude one will likely get called out by others. And you always have the opportunity to respond. It is great that you try to be respectful in your replies, but you do seem a bit thin-skinned. Bottom line here: It is such a waste of energy to lose any sleep over what people say to you on CAF.

You are, of course, free to disbelieve in the teachings of the Catholic Church. (I disbelieve in many of them, myself.) What you cannot legitimately do is then argue that your version of Catholicism is the correct one. When I learn about another religion, I try to respect it by gaining as accurate knowledge as possible, however limited my knowledge may be. How much more respect should you not show what you consider to be your own religion?

Oh I don’t lose sleep over what happens here I could care less sometimes.

The problem I have is there seems to be people who do not agree on most of the teachings at least in some way. You go to one person and they say this and then another says that. Knowing who is right can be hard and even those who think they are spot on can be incorrect.

I may seem thin skinned on here I am rather different in person. I tend to just shake things off outside of the internet.

You can tell someone they are incorrect but its how you do it that can come off as know it all like and standoffish. That can hinder more then help.

As far as I know I am not lambasting anyone as I am not trying to be harsh at all in criticizing anyone. I gave an example perhaps but its not directed at any one person.

 

[heidi_storage]

Oh I don’t lose sleep over what happens here I could care less sometimes.

The problem I have is there seems to be people who do not agree on most of the teachings at least in some way. You go to one person and they say this and then another says that. Knowing who is right can be hard and even those who think they are on spot can be incorrect.

I may seem thin skinned on here I am rather different in person. I tend to just shake things off outside of the internet.

You can tell someone they are incorrect but its how you do it that can come off as know it all like and standoffish.

If you’re concerned that others are misrepresenting Catholic teaching, you might do what others do and quote Scripture or canon law or some other authorized Catholic source to back up what you’re saying.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I’ll defer to post 2, 5 and 11 for good explanations.

The Family Life Forum may be quite contentious at times. While ask an apologist is generally good and the radio show seems useful, I would never ask for advice on these public forums.

However, I suspect that we are talking more about sexual morality issues, and at the end of the day what people need to understand is that it’s a Catholic forum and the Church’s teachings will be defended, probably more so than whatever the flavor of the day is.

Some accounts are capable of having decent conversations on here without taking things too personally, others are not. Sometimes, lines get crossed on either ends. But in the final analysis the Truth needs to be preached no matter how uncool or inconvenient it is.

I’ll be sure to pray for you to have the strength to see the Truth.

 

[Karen107]

The beach was hypothetical I never actually want a beach wedding so many never seem to account for the tide.

The church has done some things that really irk me and a few family members.
One of them being that there was a priest at my church who ended up going to trial. The last time I went to mass there was a thing in the little paper you get about it and this priest was caught a few years ago. I feel like its always there to remind me what happened. It really tarnished what I had with the church but not God. I love God and always will but the church has really disappointed me.

This has effected me in a few ways and its always at the back of my mind now. I am reminded that its the human element of the church though and not God.

Hi There Silver Light! I think that last sentence you wrote makes a lot of sense. My take on what you’ve said is that I would never try to make the priest the reason why I go to mass or be disappointed with the Church. I go to mass to be with Jesus and I know that the truth is found in Jesus Christ and Jesus entrusted the Church to share that truth to all. So if you want to know the truth, you’ll find it in the Church who will direct you to Jesus who is the way and the truth and the life.! Jesus is invested in Our Church so we have every reason to do what we can to build it up even more. If a priest has a problem than that’s the more reason to pray for him rather than let it tarnish any opinion of the Church…We need our Priests and we need to pray for them so they will honor God by their lives… They are up against some tough opposition and they need our support… Everyones a critic so to speak!

Regarding posters… We’ve seen it… I’ve seen it and felt it…Humility is a heavenly gift and it would be good if we all had more of it… I always remember that we are all sinners in need of Gods mercy, even the ones who act more arrogantly on websites. I wouldn’t let that tarnish my opinion because I know that there are many many more who bless me by their words. The Truth may be hard to accept, but face it truth is truth. I’ve learned a lot on this site and I think it is a very valuable tool and there are ways to see the truth and that’s by looking to our catechism, and spending time learning about our faith. We should be seekers of the truth and understanding throughout our lives, but we will never fully understand God in our lifetime…Now keep in mind that everyone has their own ‘truths’ that they personally believe in but not everyones truths are really the ‘truth’. So keep on listening and learning and the truth should line up with the ‘truth’… And that’s the truth!! LOL

 

[SilverLight]

I’ll defer to post 2, 5 and 11 for good explanations.

The Family Life Forum may be quite contentious at times. While ask an apologist is generally good and the radio show seems useful, I would never ask for advice on these public forums.

However, I suspect that we are talking more about sexual morality issues, and at the end of the day what people need to understand is that it’s a Catholic forum and the Church’s teachings will be defended, probably more so than whatever the flavor of the day is.

Some accounts are capable of having decent conversations on here without taking things too personally, others are not. Sometimes, lines get crossed on either ends. But in the final analysis the Truth needs to be preached no matter how uncool or inconvenient it is.

I’ll be sure to pray for you to have the strength to see the Truth.

I have no problem seeing the Truth as some call it the problem I have is there seem to be many and a lot of people call things “The Truth”. Sometimes its partly half made up stuff and partly a truth or sometimes its the truth completely but its presented in a bad way. I can ask 4 people the what the truth is and get 4 different answers all from Catholics.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

The problem I have is there seems to be people who do not agree on most of the teachings at least in some way. You go to one person and they say this and then another says that. Knowing who is right can be hard and even those who think they are spot on can be incorrect.

It does not matter what people agree on. What matters is finding the truth for yourself through reliable sources. Most CAF posters, including myself, do not fall into that category. Some do, I can think of a few. I think most posters do the best they can to be accurate. But, CAF is a discussion forum, there will be a lot of miscommunications and defense of them.

 

[johnnyc176]

I have no problem seeing the Truth as some call it the problem I have is there seem to be many and a lot of people call things “The Truth”. Sometimes its partly half made up stuff and partly a truth or sometimes its the truth completely but its presented in a bad way. I can ask 4 people the what the truth is and get 4 different answers all from Catholics.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
Jesus founded the Catholic Church.
That Church is the pillar and foundation of Truth.

Start there and you will be less confused.

 

[phil19034]

That’s just it though some of them have been sincere and taught me the truth they just word it differently. I guess the teachers at CCD may have failed to teach us kids then.

There are people on sites just like this one that act in a very different way. When asked about some of the things on here they say it is in fact incorrect sometimes.

My CCD teachers didn’t teach me much either. I’m 38 and the only thing I remember learning in CCD was the Our Father and half of the Hail Mary.

CCD back then assumed that you were learning everything at home. CCD was really like a “lab class” back in those days.

In regards to some people who seem rude, etc; you have to keep in mind a few things:

1. some people are simply blunt or brutally honest
2. this is an online forum, lots of people are typing fast and not thinking about how a sentence might be misunderstood
3. you have no voice inflection, no facial expressions, etc. when reading. If the people were really good at this, they would be professional authors
4. no matter how bad people are here, they are ALL tame compared to the comments section on many websites, including the mainstream news, profession sports, other Christian blogs, etc.

I would say that the MAJORITY of people who are posting here are doing it out of love for our fellow Catholics, fellow Christians, and fellow man.

God Bless

 

[phil19034]

There are people on sites just like this one that act in a very different way. When asked about some of the things on here they say it is in fact incorrect sometimes.

You need to verify that those sites are actually orthodox, and not heterodox.

I highly recommend the following website review page from Catholic Culture. They review Catholic websites and grade them based on their Catholic identity.

catholicculture.org/culture/reviews/

There are many sites with comment sections (like Crux) that are filled with Catholics who do not know the Catechism, etc.

One thing about Catholic Answers is that lots of people here study The Bible, the Catechism, Church documents, etc. There are many certified catechists here, etc.

We also have a lot of converts and reverts here too. Converts are very special because they typically study the Catholic faith very thoroughly before converting (especially if they have things that they misunderstood about the Faith). Same with reverts… a revert often studies the Faith deeply in order to come back to the Faith or to justify why not to officially leave.

A lot of other sites (not all) are typically filled with cradle Catholics who received a very basic CCD education. Many of them are cultural Catholic vs. orthodox Catholics.

God Bless

 

[Lily_Bernans]

I was raised Catholic and told I am Catholic my whole life. When I found this site I was slightly surprised with how some treat others. I don’t know if I was raised differently or what.

I find people who may think they know everything there is and then hold themselves higher because of it. I see some who tell others what they should be doing and how to do it but seem to ignore them when they do not agree or they get angry.

I try to be as reasonable as I can be and defend myself when I must and I never have any intention of hurting someones feelings.

I have my way of doing things because there are some things I have to do differently and I would never push it on others.

I just see how much things vary on this forum compared to others and in my own church and family.

Is it that there are some people who are a bit more extreme with the religion then others?

I’m just trying to make heads and tails of stuff.

I think the Internet brings out the worst in people, unfortunately.

 

[djames99]

I was raised Catholic and told I am Catholic my whole life. When I found this site I was slightly surprised with how some treat others. I don’t know if I was raised differently or what.

I find people who may think they know everything there is and then hold themselves higher because of it. I see some who tell others what they should be doing and how to do it but seem to ignore them when they do not agree or they get angry.

I try to be as reasonable as I can be and defend myself when I must and I never have any intention of hurting someones feelings.

I have my way of doing things because there are some things I have to do differently and I would never push it on others.

I just see how much things vary on this forum compared to others and in my own church and family.

Is it that there are some people who are a bit more extreme with the religion then others?

I’m just trying to make heads and tails of stuff.

Perhaps if we can deal with specifics instead of generalizations we could help out. In fact, if there was a specific issue that confuses you, we could deal with that as an example and you would see even clearer why we approach matters a certain way.