I am embarrassed, and I am angry

[1990Domer]

I have to say first and foremost, everybody in the men’s club who was drinking also lives within a three block radius of the church. No drunk driving was involved here. And I also feel like I need to say, my husband rarely drinks. It’s not a common thing at all. Second, I did see the suggestion to leave the parish but I am no where near considering it. I love our parish so much. I am a cantor and the funeral musician/accompanist, I run the youth group, my daughter attends the school…we are invested, and it is my home. My family, and my home.

With all of that said, I’ve tried to have a conversation with my husband about it. He has apologized, but he also says that I am over-reacting. And each time he says that, the more I feel disrespected. He got very, very upset when I mentioned possibly talking to Father about it. He says it is unfair to punish everybody for his stupid move. He initiated it. But everybody got a laugh out of it—at my expense. And when I have tried to talk to him about some kind of consequence to the Men’s Club, he got SO angry and yelled at me about being high and mighty.

I know this will be resolved between us. But for now, I’m feeling very much like he doesn’t have my back and I wish he would.

He has been in ongoing treatment for depression, and it was not even a week ago that his uncle committed suicide. In fact, the 5:00 Mass yesterday was offered for his uncle. There is so much more bubbling under the surface than I presented in my original post, and I’m feeling a little guilty about that. I don’t want it to be a conversation about how bad my husband is. (I know that nobody is saying that, but I needed to say that myself. )

I suppose I don’t know what I wanted by posting my feelings. Maybe just to put them out there and feel a little validation.

Hugs!!! You needed to vent like I did last week. It is rough when your DH does not have your back. I understand those feelings, despite having what I feel is a good and Holy marriage. Please feel free to PM me.

 

[hydin]

Hydin, you seem to have a penchant for assuming many marriages are in trouble when perhaps there is a bump in the road. (Please, if that is the case with your marriage, don’t reflect it in your posts). I am sure the OP has a good marriage. Not all good marriages are happy. Also, you seem to enjoy to deem actions as passive-aggressive. This is treading on dangerous waters, as you cannot read motive, especially on a forum board. This is best left to experienced professionals.

OP, I will pray for you. I am so sorry for your pain. I will offer up my sufferings for you this evening. God bless you and your family.

Wow you must really be upset… this thread has been dead for 3 months… I said when you responded about being unfair to you husband and describing his action as scrupulous it was a passive aggressive shot. Sorry if I hit a nerve and caused you to pull your post. I also said your husband was something special to come to you with his transgression. You chose to carry a post for 9 or ten pages and got feedback from others about how horrible he was, agreeing with you. I posted suggestions that you reevaluate your position and you pulled the post… Hmmm.

If you have issues with my personal advice on the thread you pulled please private message me rather than searching my threads and entering comments based only on your reaction to my post on the thread you pulled. It is not fair to others for you to not disclose the truth of why you are posting and making special efforts comment including on posts that have had no comments for months.

you have no idea my experience, education, or anything about me, except you were impacted by my post calling to your attention without name calling or any rudeness. If you thought it was off base you could have ignored it. Usually when posters react as you have they are reacting because the advice someone gave hit too close to home and embarrassed them. Maybe you felt this way, maybe not. the passive aggressive comment was well founded… you were apologizing for your post and took a back handed shot at your husband in the same sentence… there was no reason to describe him that way when he came to you minutes later filled with remorse when you had allowed your thread to continue for days and pages when it supported your reaction.

I even offered up info for the presentation you were asked to give since our parish had already done many on the topic after your rude response. Christ’s work is much more important than not sharing information that may help others come to him. I have over 5 years experience working with hearing impaired Catholics providing tools that are now used nationally and done training at nation events. Much needs to be done and it is great you are working in that area. Keep it up!

Again, please do not search out posts I have contributed to try discredit me. It was obvious on this old post. you have no idea what feedback I have gotten on this or the other posts you have seen… If people want more info I do like I did to you… I reach out to them and offer give advice by private message… which you have seen because I reached out to you and you rudely asked that I not contact you again… so I didn’t… I never would have contacted or mentioned you thread again. I accepted your response. then you started to track my posts… Please stop. unless you do want additional feedback… which I would rather give privately instead of in response to your posts on threads. I honored your request. I hope you will choose to honor mine. It is up to you. May Christ’s
Peace be with you and you family…

 

[WillyAL]

Two more …and this dead horse will have been beaten in 200 posts!

And the senseless beating continues.