N
noclevername
Guest
Some of you may have read my original post but if you didn’t, a little background on me: I am not Catholic yet have been very faithful and very active in my Methodist religion. I am currently going through RCIA classes to see if Catholism is for me.
OK, now that you know where I am coming from I want to ask some questions related to the thread titled “Husband doesn’t want children”. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=269959 I wanted to start a new thread so I wouldn’t take the other thread off topic too much.
That thread is about a woman who is now going through the process to be a Catholic and is married to a man who does not want kids. Also, the husband is not wanting Catholosim and doesn’t go to church. The woman was OK with the no kid thing when she married. However, now she wants kids. I fully understand that when one person is going to commit their lives to another person there are a four very important things that need to be worked out BEFORE they say “i do”. You need to be in agreement about money, religion, kids and in-laws. You don’t have to like or dislike any of them, you just have to be in agreement. As Macbook pointed out, the husband told her when they married that he doesn’t want kids so it’s no secret about his lack of desire for kids. If she thought she might want kids one day in the future, she should have not married him in the first place. But she did marry him. She committed her life to that man.
I am appalled that some of you are telling this woman to divorce her husband. I understand that their marriage won’t be blessed in the Catholic church if he refuses to give her kids. But remember folks, in most religions, not just Catholic, marriage is a sacrament. It’s not just a something you do until one of you changes their mind. She made a commitment to this man to love him no matter what. She said that in the presence of God. She didn’t say that I’ll love you until I decide I want to become a Catholic and you start holding me back. Now I know you all are going to tell me that God comes before your family and yourself. I FULLY agree with that. I agree 100%. But I don’t agree with a church advising her to get a divorce (or anullment) because she changed her mind a few years after she married. She can put God first without being a Catholic. I do it every day.
But if she really wants to be a Catholic but this is an obstacle for her, you all should not be telling her to split from her husband, you all should be encouraging her to fix their problem or help them come to some reconsiliation. I am willing to bet that there is a heck of a lot more going on in that marriage than just the kid issue. They aren’t having sex or anything and that’s huge. You should tell her to go to marriage counseling. Have some sessions with a counselor at their church about their marriage issues but not get a divorce. If you all had been at her wedding you all would have promised to support that marriage and do what ever you could to keep them married. Now you are telling them to split because one party changes their mind? Divorce is a horrible horrible thing. It’s like a death. It’s awful and horrible and I would never every encourage anyone to go that route unless there was abuse or adultry. I am divorced because of abuse issues and other than my mother’s death, my divorce was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I already have a lot of questions about the Catholisms doctrine and but when practicing Catholics advise someone to divorce gives me a bad view of what Catholism is about. I am glad I have other Catholic influences in my life but wow, this one really gets to me.
OK, now that you know where I am coming from I want to ask some questions related to the thread titled “Husband doesn’t want children”. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=269959 I wanted to start a new thread so I wouldn’t take the other thread off topic too much.
That thread is about a woman who is now going through the process to be a Catholic and is married to a man who does not want kids. Also, the husband is not wanting Catholosim and doesn’t go to church. The woman was OK with the no kid thing when she married. However, now she wants kids. I fully understand that when one person is going to commit their lives to another person there are a four very important things that need to be worked out BEFORE they say “i do”. You need to be in agreement about money, religion, kids and in-laws. You don’t have to like or dislike any of them, you just have to be in agreement. As Macbook pointed out, the husband told her when they married that he doesn’t want kids so it’s no secret about his lack of desire for kids. If she thought she might want kids one day in the future, she should have not married him in the first place. But she did marry him. She committed her life to that man.
I am appalled that some of you are telling this woman to divorce her husband. I understand that their marriage won’t be blessed in the Catholic church if he refuses to give her kids. But remember folks, in most religions, not just Catholic, marriage is a sacrament. It’s not just a something you do until one of you changes their mind. She made a commitment to this man to love him no matter what. She said that in the presence of God. She didn’t say that I’ll love you until I decide I want to become a Catholic and you start holding me back. Now I know you all are going to tell me that God comes before your family and yourself. I FULLY agree with that. I agree 100%. But I don’t agree with a church advising her to get a divorce (or anullment) because she changed her mind a few years after she married. She can put God first without being a Catholic. I do it every day.
But if she really wants to be a Catholic but this is an obstacle for her, you all should not be telling her to split from her husband, you all should be encouraging her to fix their problem or help them come to some reconsiliation. I am willing to bet that there is a heck of a lot more going on in that marriage than just the kid issue. They aren’t having sex or anything and that’s huge. You should tell her to go to marriage counseling. Have some sessions with a counselor at their church about their marriage issues but not get a divorce. If you all had been at her wedding you all would have promised to support that marriage and do what ever you could to keep them married. Now you are telling them to split because one party changes their mind? Divorce is a horrible horrible thing. It’s like a death. It’s awful and horrible and I would never every encourage anyone to go that route unless there was abuse or adultry. I am divorced because of abuse issues and other than my mother’s death, my divorce was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I already have a lot of questions about the Catholisms doctrine and but when practicing Catholics advise someone to divorce gives me a bad view of what Catholism is about. I am glad I have other Catholic influences in my life but wow, this one really gets to me.
