I am scared

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lovespurple

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I feel like a loser. All I know is that it’s hard for me to remember things sometimes and that I seem to constantly be screwing up. My husband hates me - really. He makes fun of me in every way. If I try to do something, he’s mad I didn’t do the other.

The latest is that (we own a business), I was moving things around today (as per his orders) and somewhere my keys fell out of my pocket. Well you would think that someone if they found it (in the store) would return it, but we are talking about people who actually will steal toilet paper from the bathroom. It has lots of important keys on it - my car keys and the business keys. I am scared. My husband thinks maybe they’re locked in the car. Now I am sitting here past midnight watching my cameras and my car. I have been here since 6 this morning and looking since noon. I am not having any luck and it will take a higher amount of money to get someone here that can make a key for my car since it needs this that and the other thing done to do so. I really hope it’s in the car, but I don’t think so. And if it’s not we may have to change the locks on the business too - I mean, we do have an alarm system and you MUST enter the correct code within whatever seconds, so even if they did come in immediately the police would be called and a siren would be heard for at least a mile.

Anyway, I jsut got off the phone with him and he was screaming about how stupid I am for 20 minutes and how this stuff never happens to him. he wants me to leave in a few weeks and he wants our son - because he believes he is the best human to ever walk the earth - really, that is his attitude. My son on the other hand only has eyes for me and will burst into tears if I try to leave him with my husband when I have to work or whatever.

I don’t know what to do, I want him to love me, but it’s getting harder and I am scared for our child. He will say he believes in God and he goes to church. He will get mad if I don’t say prayers with my son (I know I should do it every night), but he never will do it and once when the thought enters his head, THEN he’ll start whining about him not seeing me say prayers with our son. I’ve never seen any catholic or religions man saying/doing these things to their wives. I am sure they are out there, but I have had enough of the hypocrite. You can not be chiristian and want to use birth control, divorce, marry another for money, and steal a son away from his mother. What kind of a christian is this?

Please pray for my life in general and for my son. Thank you. - ohh yeah, and for what started this whole mess - my keys. Thanks
 
It’s easy to let people affect you emotionally, but try to remember God before your husband and the burden should lessen. Give to God your troubles you have with your husband and then you might be able to see the situation clearer and react to your husband in a more inspired manner. I will pray for you and ask for you to send the same prayers my way. It’s terribly consuming the life of a Christian. To think about God every second is the only way to find balance though.

Once you really sit down to think about the pain Jesus suffered throughout his life, culminating into a brutal death, than compare it to your own plight, it always make life seem so much easier. Remember why you married your husband in the first place, put solace in the good feelings you had then, life is long, and those good times can come back. Just pray and live.
 
I can imagine how hard all that is to live with, and do understand that a person is more likely to make mistakes if one is afraid and tense. It’s very unfortunate you lost your keys so that this trigger situation arose. You are fearful and know these situations arise easily. As you are threatened with loss of your son and loss of security it’s no wonder you are tense and make mistakes. When you know you are not loved but simply tolerated, life is very difficult. Right now you surely feel exhausted and awfully upset.

You feel useless because of your desperation in losing your keys and because you don’t see your way clear to anything being any different, and you never know when the next trigger situation will arise to put everything in jeopardy and draw abuse upon you.

In other words I understand something of what you’re going through. I will keep you in my prayers and daily Masses, you and your boy, and I’ll pray for your husband also.

A warm hug, Trishie
 
You are in my prayers.

All shall be well,
and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well .
St Julian of Norwich.

God Bless
 
(I’m sorry if this posts twice; the internet went down as I was sending a minute ago.)

Your husband sounds like a very unhappy man who can’t look at his own problems. Long-term stress and depression cause memory problems; it’s not you. It’s the circumstances. I’m praying for you, your husband, and to St. Anthony that you’re keys will turn up quickly.
 
prayers for you and this difficult marriage you are in. Stay strong and please know that you are an important person. Your son needs you. If you can, try to talk to your pastor about this situation and perhaps, he could advise you and pray with you.

kate
 
Saint Monica, pray for us!

There is always something to learned from the saints, and in this case, it is Saint Moca. Her son, Augustine of Hippo, tells us in his Confessions, Book 9:
  1. Being thus modestly and soberly trained, and rather made subject by You to her parents, than by her parents to You, when she had arrived at a marriageable age, she was given to a husband whom she served as her lord. And she busied herself to gain him to You, preaching You unto him by her behaviour; by which You made her fair, and reverently amiable, and admirable unto her husband. For she so bore the wronging of her bed as never to have any dissension with her husband on account of it. For she waited for Your mercy upon him, that by believing in You he might become chaste. And besides this, as he was earnest in friendship, so was he violent in anger; but she had learned that an angry husband should not be resisted, neither in deed, nor even in word. But so soon as he was grown calm and tranquil, and she saw a fitting moment, she would give him a reason for her conduct, should he have been excited without cause. In short, while many matrons, whose husbands were more gentle, carried the marks of blows on their dishonoured faces, and would in private conversation blame the lives of their husbands, she would blame their tongues, monishing them gravely, as if in jest: That from the hour they heard what are called the matrimonial tablets read to them, they should think of them as instruments whereby they were made servants; so, being always mindful of their condition, they ought not to set themselves in opposition to their lords. And when they, knowing what a furious husband she endured, marvelled that it had never been reported, nor appeared by any indication, that Patricius had beaten his wife, or that there had been any domestic strife between them, even for a day, and asked her in confidence the reason of this, she taught them her rule, which I have mentioned above. They who observed it experienced the wisdom of it, and rejoiced; those who observed it not were kept in subjection, and suffered.
  2. Her mother-in-law, also, being at first prejudiced against her by the whisperings of evil-disposed servants, she so conquered by submission, persevering in it with patience and meekness, that she voluntarily disclosed to her son the tongues of the meddling servants, whereby the domestic peace between herself and her daughter-in-law had been agitated, begging him to punish them for it. When, therefore, he had— in conformity with his mother’s wish, and with a view to the discipline of his family, and to ensure the future harmony of its members— corrected with stripes those discovered, according to the will of her who had discovered them, she promised a similar reward to any who, to please her, should say anything evil to her of her daughter-in-law. And, none now daring to do so, they lived together with a wonderful sweetness of mutual good-will.
  3. This great gift You bestowed also, my God, my mercy, upon that good handmaid of Yours, out of whose womb You created me, even that, whenever she could, she showed herself such a peacemaker between any differing and discordant spirits, that when she had heard on both sides most bitter things, such as swelling and undigested discord is wont to give vent to, when the crudities of enmities are breathed out in bitter speeches to a present friend against an absent enemy, she would disclose nothing about the one unto the other, save what might avail to their reconcilement. A small good this might seem to me, did I not know to my sorrow countless persons, who, through some horrible and far-spreading infection of sin, not only disclose to enemies mutually enraged the things said in passion against each other, but add some things that were never spoken at all; whereas, to a generous man, it ought to seem a small thing not to incite or increase the enmities of men by ill-speaking, unless he endeavour likewise by kind words to extinguish them. Such a one was she—Thou, her most intimate Instructor, teaching her in the school of her heart.
  4. Finally, her own husband, now towards the end of his earthly existence, did she gain over unto You; and she had not to complain of that in him, as one of the faithful, which, before he became so, she had endured. She was also the servant of Your servants. Whosoever of them knew her, did in her much magnify, honour, and love You; for that through the testimony of the fruits of a holy conversation, they perceived You to be present in her heart. For she had been the wife of one man, had requited her parents, had guided her house piously, was well-reported of for good works, had brought up children, as often travailing in birth of them Galatians 4:19 as she saw them swerving from You. Lastly, to all of us, O Lord (since of Your favour Thou sufferest Your servants to speak), who, before her sleeping in You, 1 Thessalonians 4:14 lived associated together, having received the grace of Your baptism, did she devote, care such as she might if she had been mother of us all; served us as if she had been child of all.
 
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