I am so hurt by my friend

[annb]

A very good friend who I would have never in a million years thought she could do something so blatantly disrespectful and rude has said something very hurtful. And I don’t know what I should do.

I was telling her how a Catholic neighbor of mine wasn’t going to apply to a Christian school because the application scared her off, by one of the questions being something about being “born again” and she realized she wouldn’t be comfortable teaching there.
Then my friend asked (all this is via email) why she would be applying to a Christian school, since she is Catholic.
I replied to her that Catholics ARE Christians.
And she said, “Not necessarily”.

Like I said this is a very dear friend who I was even considering as my baby’s Godmother. I don’t know why she would say such a thing. I would hate to end a friendship over this, but I just don’t know what to think.

 

[E.E.N.S]

It seems that you might have missed sharing a very important part of your life with your friend - perhaps the two of you should sit down and talk about your faiths and why you believe what you believe, I would even recommend that you start off with a prayer to the Holy Spirit for guidence.

I want to ask, in all this time that the two of you have been “dear friends” you never thought to talk about the Faith? After all your relationships should be centered on your faith in Christ.

 

[adstrinity]

(((((((((((annb))))))))))) Hmmmm…tough one. I can’t even give you advice w/o getting defensive or without kindling the sparks that it may bring. First off, before I get so upset I cannot type straight, are you SURE that the “Not necesarily” was in reply to Catholics ARE Christians. Okay, IF this IS the case, ask her to explain.

 

[siamesecat]

I dont follow Catholicism so I dont get offended, but from a lot of people I chat with online, when I say I was raised Catholic but am now agnostic, they say “oh well Im a Christian.” and ill say “catholics are christians” and they dont think so. Its weird, but they clearly are, following Christ and the Bible right?

 

[annb]

E.E.N.S.:

It seems that you might have missed sharing a very important part of your life with your friend - perhaps the two of you should sit down and talk about your faiths and why you believe what you believe, I would even recommend that you start off with a prayer to the Holy Spirit for guidence.

I want to ask, in all this time that the two of you have been “dear friends” you never thought to talk about the Faith? After all your relationships should be centered on your faith in Christ.

Gee thanks for the warm, fuzzy feeling. Her husband was raised Catholic. I didn’t realize until recently that his views of Catholocism are mixed up as well. She grew up Lutheran. I didn’t realize we had this huge gap in understanding.
Her dh grew up in Columbia. My husband told me last night that some of the Catholic churches down there are “messed up” --for lack of a more technical term.

 

[LSK]

siamesecat:

I dont follow Catholicism so I dont get offended, but from a lot of people I chat with online, when I say I was raised Catholic but am now agnostic, they say “oh well Im a Christian.” and ill say “catholics are christians” and they dont think so. Its weird, but they clearly are, following Christ and the Bible right?

Catholics were - and are - the first Christians. We are the oldest Christian ‘sect’ on the face of the earth, the only one that can trace itself directly back to Jesus. Those Christians who claim otherwise have been taught falsehoods. It is not their fault. It can be hurtful, though, but remember the suffering Jesus did for us. We can do a little and unite it with His.

 

[Wormwood]

I think this is a fairly common misconception in the protestant world. They apply the jew/gentile contrast to catholic/protestant contrast, thinking it is an either/or situation. This is most common but not limited to people that only think about religion on sunday, and I mean that on several levels. You should not be offended by someone else’s lack of knowledge, simply explain the facts. Christian=pertaining to, worshiping Christ Catholic=pertaining to; worshiping christ. If that doesn’t work, simply tell your friend if she thinks catholics are so unchristian, stop using the bible that your catholic church compiled

That should shut her up
(Although admittedly you should take advice on social grace from one of the others)

 

[E.E.N.S]

annb:

Gee thanks for the warm, fuzzy feeling. Her husband was raised Catholic. I didn’t realize until recently that his views of Catholocism are mixed up as well. She grew up Lutheran. I didn’t realize we had this huge gap in understanding.
Her dh grew up in Columbia. My husband told me last night that some of the Catholic churches down there are “messed up” --for lack of a more technical term.

LOL, I am not very good at the “warm & fuzzy” thing, please pardon me.

 

[rwoehmke]

annb:

Like I said this is a very dear friend who I was even considering as my baby’s Godmother. I don’t know why she would say such a thing. I would hate to end a friendship over this, but I just don’t know what to think.

Asking her why she doesn’t think Catholics are necessarily Christians would be a good start. In my opinion this lady never meant to insult and hurt you so I would work on that premise. In any case if she is Lutheran she could not be your child’s Godparent but only an honarary witness. The other person standing up for your child would then have to be a male Catholic and would be the sole Godparent.

 

[Mijoy2]

You need to know what she meant by Catholics not being Christians. Is it possible that she did not mean, at all, that Catholics are not followers of Christ?

She may have simply meant that generic meaning of the term Christian, these days , seems to imply Evangelical. Meaing that the broad term “Christian” refers to evangelicals and excludes Catholics. My implication is not that Catholics are not Christian but the term Catholic refers to us Christians who are Catholics, and the term Christian refers to those Christians who are Evangelical.

Is it possible her meaning was as innocent as this? It simply doesn’t make sense to think of Cathoolics are anything but followers of Jesus. We are not a baseball team or a bridge club.